A Thorn in the Flesh

Grant and Dylan at the Alive Festival, July 2019

Do I have the equivalent of the Apostle Paul's "thorn in the flesh"? (2 Corinthians 12: 7-10)  I do.  I have "thorns" rather.  Not just one, but I think I have several things that I carry around as reminders of the fact that I'm weak, but that when I am weak, then I am strong.  The funny thing is that often these thorns are actually people.  Yes, I think often our thorns are people whose actions/attitudes/behaviors towards us cause us to live in torment.

However, one thing I have never, really, truly considered is: am I someone else's thorn in THEIR flesh?

O dear...

I never thought about that reversed situation until a few weeks ago.  The realization happened when my sons came back from a 4-night camping trip at the ALIVE Christian Music Festival.  Both of them seemed to have been truly touched by all that they witnessed at this event.  In the ride home after I picked them up, however, Dylan said something that upset me and that set me off on a huge rant, which, of course, involved lots of yelling at both of my sons. 

After the 45 minute ride home was over and I had had time to cool off...I realized that I had been irrational so I asked my boys for forgiveness.  Dylan was quick to be nice and accept my apologies so we could move on.  Grant, on the other hand...was gracious but challenging. I had a talk with him and he said something that stung worst than a thousand wasps.  He said: "it's not the first time that I come back from a mountain top experience with God and the enemy pushes me down so I forget and revert to my old self, but I'm not going to allow him to do that this time."

ouch...

I know it wasn't his intention to make me feel horrible.  But his words made me realize that I am a thorn in his flesh...I am a tool the enemy uses to make my own son stumble.

I felt so small...

I had prayed and prayed that the Lord would reveal Himself to them in very special ways during their time at the Alive Festival, and I believe He truly did.  Then, they came home to me...and they quickly began to tumble down that wonderful mountain top experience they'd just had...and all because of my insensitivity and selfishness.  I don't think I would be able to forget Grant's words for as long as I live.  And I hope I never forget them.  I need to keep that pain fresh so I remember not to continue to be the person who pushes them off their time of elation with God. 

However, and even though I feel terribly ashamed of this situation, thanks to the MomStrong's reminder of Paul's words in 2 Corinthians 12: 7-10, I am able to deal with my guilt in a healthier manner.  Me being a thorn in Grant's flesh has become a thorn in my own flesh.  And, that is a good thing.  It's a good thing because it is a reminder to stay humble.  It's a reminder to be aware of my selfish and irrational tendencies so I can, hopefully keep them in check.  It's a reminder that I am weak, therefore, I have nothing to boast about other than the Lord.

7 or because of these surpassingly great revelations. Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12: 7-10

Do I have a thorn in my flesh?  Not only I have several; but I am one as well...and that's the one I am aware of.  However, I pray that the Lord will give me the right attitude and perspective to deal with all these in a way that bring Him Honor and Glory as well as peace to my heart.  His grace IS sufficient and His Love covers a great multitude of sin.  I remain under His wings, even as I make huge mistakes.  I trust His Word, I trust His Strength. Amen!

Stretched too Thin?

"Wow, Mama...I'm going to be really busy, huh?" Dylan said to me yesterday as we wrapped up a whirlwind of a day filled with doctor's appointments and other errands.  "Yep..." I said with a sigh as I mindlessly nodded, looking ahead at the hectic pace waiting for us in the coming months.  If Dylan thinks he'll be busy...multiply that times 4 for me...sigh...

Allergy shots 45 minutes away from home every Monday for the next 6 months; physical therapy twice a week for the next 6 to 12 weeks; drum lessons once a week for the next year; basketball tryout and then practice if he makes it to the team; plus all the school work and all the pushing and pulling so he can stay on track...that's Dylan.  Then, more pushing and pulling and dragging, now with Grant for him to master parallel parking and other wonders of the drivers licence test so he can finally drive himself to band practice twice a week for the foreseeable future...and back home from games every Friday...but...what car is he going to use??? Then, Youth Group (also 45 minutes away)...and all...ALL...the infinitely frustrating and aggravating details of college applications (too many to list...) which have to be all done by Thanksgiving...Lord have mercy...then...my job, which is becoming so consuming I might have to bring a sleeping bag into my office...why I said yes to teaching an extra class at Grove City College is beyond me??? O, yeah, because it has always been my dream to work there...but WHY did I say yes to teaching that extra class there??? Then, of course, there's Dan, the dog and the house (probably not necessarily in that order) ...

Needless to say, I can see an avalanche of stress rushing down the mountain that is my calendar getting closer and closer every day, threatening to engulf me and swallow me up alive...if I'm still alive by then, that is.  And I just have 2 kids!  Hats off to those with anything more than that...you're all super women to me!

Am I feeling like I'm stretched out too thin?  I'm stretched, alright...I have the marks to prove it...and the gray hair...and the lines on my face...sigh...

The author of the MomStrong Bible study asks a couple of questions on this subject: 
1. "How accurately does the way you use your time reflect your priorities?
2. "Do you agree that most of the stress we struggle with is self-inflicted?"

I can't answer these questions without feeling convicted...even before I begin to formulate my answers in my head; I know I'm not going to like what I'm going to say...if I'm honest, that is...

Does the use of my time reflect my priorities?  Well, of course!  Time is the most valuable item we possess in this side of eternity.  It is fleeting and very finite.  Therefore, we are constrained by the way we use it.  And if we are not intentional...we'd end up wasting it, which we would regret sooner rather than later.  But, the deeper question here is: am I being intentional about what my priorities are so I can spend my limited time wisely?  Well...I don't know. 

I need to work.  But, do I need to make myself so crazy with all the extra work I put on over my shoulders?  Probably not.  I could say no to some assignments and to some activities.  However, my need to excel and to demonstrate my worth move me to take on more and more and more responsibilities at work.  I didn't have to accept the offer to teach a class at another college; but my desire to say: "I'm teaching a class at Grove City College," took over my reality of being already stretched too thin. So, now I'm in too deep...gotta swim or sink, even though these things should not be high in the priority list, I placed them there, and now I'm stuck. (Mental note to see what I can do about this next semester)

I have two kids I need to take care of.  But, do they need to be in all the activities and other things they are into in order to survive and have a good life in Christ:  in a way, yes...so the things my kids do should be high in the priority list. (Another mental note here: kids' stuff=high priority)

I am married and I'm about to celebrate my 25th anniversary in a few days.  But, does that mean I have to keep marriage as a high priority?  Pause....sound of crashing cymbals and pounding drums in the background...resounding yes in the foreground.  My marriage is the most important relationship I have on this earth.  Marriage is the reason I left my Father's house and my country of birth!  I am one only with my husband...there is no closer bond between me and any other human being...not even my kids...

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." Genesis 2: 24

So, why is it so low in my priority list? Because I tend to push aside what I think I have already accomplished and forget to nurture what I think has already matured.  And, in doing so, I totally neglect the direct command I received the day I said "I do":

22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 

Ephesians 5: 22-23

"...as to the Lord..."

That tiny piece of this important passage of Scripture is what today captures my attention and convicts my soul: "...as to the Lord..."

Could it be, perhaps, that the reason I don't have my husband high in the list of priorities is because I don't have the Lord at the spot where He needs to be: the absolute, highest priority?

You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. Deuteronomy 6: 5

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Matthew 6: 33

“You shall have no other gods before me.”  Exodus 20: 3

Am I neglecting my relationship with my husband, because I'm neglecting my relationship with God? Am I forgetting the command to submit to my own husband, because I'm neglecting the commandment to submit to my Lord and to love Him above all else? Am I forgetting to seek my husband and his love, because I'm forgetting to seek Christ first?  Am I leaving my husband behind in the busyness of life because I am leaving the Almighty behind in my quest for other gods?  Is the stress of this realization all self-inflicted because I don't know how to make my priorities reflect who I really love the most?

I don't have to answer these questions, do I?

I pray that the Lord will guide my steps from now on to re-arrange my priorities in a way that they do reflect accurately, that the way I use my time shows that I know what should always be first in my list.  And, may the Holy Spirit help me and all of us trapped in this "stretched too thin" lifestyle, that we don't need to be self-inflicting stress into our lives.  On the contrary, that the Holy Spirit will show us how to unload our burdens onto Him so we can find rest and gain His strength.  Amen.

Drama Mama?

Am I a drama-mama?  The author of the MomStrong Bible Study says:  "The truth is, some of us are so used to getting caught up in drama that it starts to feel normal, and we even enjoy (often secretly). Are you a drama addict?  Review the telltale signs from chapter 9:  Do you…

                                                              i.      Insert yourself into situations where your presence isn’t necessary or wanted?

                                                             ii.      Get people stirred up over things that are of little to no significance?

                                                           iii.      Need to know about relationships that aren’t your own?

                                                           iv.      Live in the past?

                                                             v.      Believe or claim that your motives for stirring up drama are pure (“I just want to help”)?"

Well, after reviewing the "telltale signs," I can say, pretty confidently, that I don't try to insert my presence when/where it isn't necessary...I'm too lazy for that.  I usually don't try to stir up people over things that are of little to no significance, I got off caring about politics years ago.  I don't really live in the past, my present is too busy, no time for reminiscing.  BUT, I do tend to have a need to know about relationships that aren't my own...and I often claim that my motives for intruding are pure...the old "I just want to help" tag line has come out of my lips once or twice when the real motive is my thirst for knowing what's going on.  In other words, I occasionally fall in the trap of gossip. 

My mouth runs away from me and often I find myself caught up to my neck in a web of hearsay until the chatter gets so loud I can't even discern the truth from all the spinning.  It's awful.  I don't want to be like that.  I'm too old for this.  Sometimes, when I pause long enough to hear myself, I'm ashamed.  I sound like a 13 year-old girl back in middle school.  I should be more mature that this!  I should know better than to fall for the buzz...but, many times I stumble and next thing I know...yeah...I could be a gossip...

One good antidote against the trap of gossip, like the author of the book mentions, is to recognize when it's happening and just walking away.  Be intentional about excusing yourself from the site where gossip is being generated and just leave before it even starts.  But, the trick is to be discerning, to pay attention, to recognize it.  And how do we recognize we are immersing ourselves into gossip?  Well, simple: is the person we are talking about present? If the answer is "no" chances are, that's a red flag.  Unless we are planning a surprise party or trying to figure out what to get her/him for a special occasion, if we are talking about someone else's situation, and that person is not present...it might be bordering gossip.

I know...what does this mean?  Are we not allowed to even vent?  What if we just need to get something off our chests?  Are we not supposed to do that?  What if I get an ulcer from bottling up my anguish?  I don't know.  I guess, if it is done in the spirit of just sharing with a trusted friend to seek advice on how to handle a particularly difficult situation it's OK.  But, if we take it to social media and open it up for a public debate where the other person is getting berated and doesn't even have a chance to defend herself or himself, that's a different story.

What about if we are the person that is acting as the confidant?  Well...I guess, our role should be limited to listening as much as possible.  To be there for our friends in need is one of the most important rules of friendship.  Therefore, being there is important.  Dragging our friend in need into unnecessary anguish is not.  I believe our role should be limited to listening and then, asking the Holy Spirit for guidance in case we need to interject BEFORE we say anything.  That the words that come out of our mouths be words that are inspired by the One who knows and is able to heal...not by our desire to gossip.

I'm pretty much saying all this to myself.  I don't want to regret my actions.  I want to be intentional about being aware of my gossiping tendencies so I can stop and walk away or at least remain silent when I can't leave. I don't want to be a drama mama...I just want to be a good friend, and give an example to my kids on how to steer clear from the chatter.  It never leads to anywhere healthy. But, in order to accomplish all these, I need to be tuned into the Holy Spirit.  Even a quick 911 is an effective tool when we feel ourselves falling.  May the Grace and Mercy of Our Lord Jesus keep us on the right track to holiness as we walk on the road of sanctification. May He keep our feet from slipping.  May He rescue us when we fall.  Amen!  

It's OK to be Human in front of our Kids

Grant in 2012, a bright light in a dark year.

"I think you should read this book, mama..." said Grant timidly to me in his still young boy's voice almost seven years ago as he slipped into my hands a children's version of the book of Heaven is for Real.  I had just picked up a that copy of the book  at the store a couple of days earlier just because I thought it would be a good one for the boys to read...little did I know, that my older son would be using it to comfort me after the passing of my Dad just a few days later...

I grabbed the book from his little hands, and had a hard time looking him in the eyes.  I didn't want him to see me cry.  So, I did my best to keep my composure and gave him a hug.  Dan and I were getting ready to go to Panama to try to make it to the funeral.  The kids were staying with Grandma.  Thanksgiving was around the corner...but it was a year that did not feel like there was much to be thankful for.  My Mother in Law's second husband had just died in very tragic circumstances only a few months back...and now...my Dad...my rock, my greatest fan, my steady hand...was gone miles away from me.  As I struggled to handle my emotions, I didn't want to trouble my sons, so I put up a brave face.  I didn't want them to notice.  I didn't want them to suffer.  I didn't want them to realize the pain I was carrying inside so I tried to bury it as best as I could.  But, when Grant gave me that book, I knew, he knew...and I was mortified.

It has taken these many years to realize that it is OK and even healthy for my sons to see that I am actually human.

It's OK for them to see that I have feelings too...not just the feelings I want them to see, but all the range of human emotions.  And, I do have MANY...including sadness.  I never wanted them to see me crying.  But, what kind of lesson would I be teaching them if I try to hide my tears?  Is that a healthy lesson? Tears, the way I see it, are the mechanism that God has put in place in our bodies to release tension. It's like our own built-in escape valve, included as a safety to help us let out the pressure/tension that builds up inside of us in difficult situations.  I'm no mechanic whatsoever, but, if you ask me (which you shouldn't...at all) I believe, by the very nature of the concept of an escape valve, if it doesn't work properly, say, in a car...a bunch of bad things could happen depending on what valve is not doing its job... (that's as far as I can go with this illustration).  So, we have tears for a reason.  Let's use them, so we don't become sick with toxic exhaust and other nasty stuff that builds up inside of us as a result of plugging them up!  After all, the Lord collects all our tears in a bottle, so one day, He will wipe them all away forever! (Psalm 56: 8, Revelations 21: 4)

My point is...I agree with Heidi St. John, the author of the Bible Study I'm doing, when she says:  "We experience grief because of rejection and broken relationships, because of illness and loss, and because of our own self-focus. And our children will hurt too. We can’t change that, but we do have control over the way we deal with it. MomStrong moms trust God to help them model healing for their children, even if it means your kids see you cry."

I understand this now...so, when I look back at that day when Grant gave me that book, I wish I had allowed myself to cry in front of him...but I didn't.  I stoically hid my feelings and put on a fake, brave face to spare him the pain.  I read the book when he was out of the room.  And then, of course the water works began... Before we left, I told Grant I loved the book and that it helped me very much.  I looked at that precious young boy's brown eyes and saw more love and understanding that I could have ever imagined.  I believe God, despite my foolishness and misguided, good-intentions, and in His infinite mercy, gave Grant wisdom beyond his years to extend His grace and comfort to me in my hour of great grief, and for that, I'm eternally grateful.  He IS close the broken hearted and saves those whose spirits are crushed... (Psalm 34: 18)  And He gave us tears to help us cope.  Let's not diminish their power as we teach our kids the value of a sincerely shed tear.

Conflict Resolution...??

"What are some positive and negative ways your children handle conflict? Make two lists."

O Dear...

Ok, I'm supposed to answer this question for our MomStrong Bible Study...and...I'm at a loss as to how to do that.  Well, actually, I could answer half of it with no problem.  Guess which half?  Yep, the list about "some negative ways" my children handle conflict.  That one is a breeze for me.  The other side of the question, "positive ways" would be like, nada...

Here's a sample situation that happened just this morning in which Grant was showing initiative on trying to figure out ways to handle conflict between him and Dylan in a "positive" way:

Grant:  hey, can you (meaning Dan and I) figure out a way so Dylan is not allowed to 

            be in the same room with me at the same time?

Dan:     yeah, just close the door.

Me:      he means ANY room of the house, not just HIS room.

Dan:     What?

Grant:   I don't want him being in the same place in the house that I'm in.

Dan:     just push him out.

Me:      but, without killing him.

Sigh...

I don't know what to tell you.  My boys get along really well in survival situations.  I am happy to say that they do know how to band together when it's necessary: on a trip, when they go somewhere and it's just the two of them, when they have to stay home alone, whenever they have to battle zombies, vampires or monsters under the bed, etc.  Throw Dan and I (specially me) in the mix, and the whole getting along, band of brothers thing falls apart like a house of cards.  At home, in the car, at restaurants, at the outlet mall, anyplace that we go together...I have to become the referee/warden/executioner because they never seem to be able to ever resolve a conflict like human beings.  

I guess that's the nature of sibling relationships.  But then, if that's the norm, why is the author of the Bible study asking about positive ways our children resolve conflict?  Shouldn't she know that's impossible?  Should that question even be a question?  Is it rhetorical?  Am I supposed to really answer it or just go like, "o yeah...as if!?"  

Anyway, while the intentions of the question remain a mystery to me, one thing is clear:  conflict among individuals who are supposed to love each other is real and inevitable.  

We cannot enter a relationship with another human being and pretend that it is going to be 100% smooth and conflict-free.  It's just not realistic.  And it adds to our already stressful and anxious lives to think there's something wrong with us just because conflict arises.  It's bound to happen!  We're humans!  We all have a mind of our own.  That's one of the many beautiful things that result of God creating us in His image: that we are able to use our brain!  The minute we begin having thoughts, though...that's the instant when trouble starts...why? Well, because not everyone around us will share our thoughts and points of view.  Everyone has a different perspective on everything.  Therefore, conflict is unavoidable.  The key is to know how to handle it without killing each other.

Interestingly enough, the same is true in our relationship with God:  we often don't share His thoughts either. And He is aware of it:

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. Isaiah 55: 8

How could we? We are so consumed with wanting it all our way, that we forget that our way is most likely, probably not God's way...then, we get mad, scared, frustrated, disappointed, sad, disillusioned that our plan didn't unfold the way we had envisioned...because, again, we forget that our ways are not His ways, but His way is always best:

"As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55: 9

Why is this so hard to accept, then?  Well, again, because we are humans, and because our will and our desires are tainted by sin.  Our sinful nature is not fully conformed to the patterns of Christ yet.  We are still too connected to this world, hence the command to renewing our minds!

2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12: 2

It is a lifelong battle, though.  It doesn't happen by magic.  It doesn't happen by our own efforts.  It can only happen by the intervention of the Holy Spirit who is the One that gives us the mind of God in proportion to our reality as humans who still dwell on this side of eternity.  Only through the Holy Spirit can we begin to understand:

10 these are the things God has revealed to us by his Spirit.

The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. 11 For who knows a person’s thoughts except their own spirit within them? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God.12 What we have received is not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may understand what God has freely given us. 1 Corinthians 2: 10-12

And even so, we still remain in awe, for there is no way we could ever, possibly, understand all that there is to be understood about God's designs for us while still on this earth.  If we could...what would that say about God, right?  After all...

Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand,

or with the breadth of his hand marked off the heavens?

Who has held the dust of the earth in a basket,

or weighed the mountains on the scales

and the hills in a balance?

13 Who can fathom the Spirit of the Lord,

or instruct the Lord as his counselor?

14 Whom did the Lord consult to enlighten him,

and who taught him the right way?

Who was it that taught him knowledge,

or showed him the path of understanding? Isaiah 40: 12-14

How do my kids resolve conflict? Well, sometimes they do, sometimes they don't.  How do I deal with it? Sometimes, I'm very proud...sometimes I'm ashamed, but always my immeasurable love for both of them stays alive in me.  Kind of like the same way I deal with the fact that often God's will for me is not what I had imagined:  sometimes I see that His ways, are indeed, higher than mine...often, I feel ashamed of myself because of my reluctance to accept His plan...but always confident that He loves me and that nothing will ever change that fact.

The Power of the Shears

Dylan:  "Mom, can I get a haircut?"
Me:      "WHAAAAT!?"  "AGAIN!?"  "NO WAY!"
Dylan:  "Please, Mama...I need it!"
Me:      "You just had a haircut...like...a week ago! NO!"
Dylan:  "It grows really fast when you cut it short!"
Me:      "Then, let it grow long!"

Sigh...I literally get like 2 haircuts a year, maybe...in a good year.  Dylan, I swear it feels like he gets one every other week!  I'm so sick of it.  I miss the days when he didn't care about his hair and just got buzz cuts.  I didn't know how good I had it back then.  And to think that I was the one that kept on suggesting he'd get one of those "cool cuts"...blah, blah, blah...Mercy!!  And then, there's the "products"...We need a line-item on our budget just for Dylan's hair...

The thing is, the jury is still out when it comes to whether hair grows faster when you trim it or not...but, if you do have the really short cuts, then, it shows growth quicker and more noticeable.  Also, if you have split ends, trimming your hair makes it look healthier.  So, getting regular cuts does help make one's hair look nicer and well kept.  But it is such a pain!  It is very costly in money and in time.  But...like Dylan would say: "aren't you glad I want to look nice and not like a bum?" Sigh...

That's, in a small way, kind of what pruning means in the Bible: cutting or trimming to promote growth and fruitfulness.

"Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit, He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit, He prunes it so that it may bear more fruit. John 15: 2

I guess, the benefits of pruning are very well known to gardeners and those who tend fruit trees (and Dylan...but on the hair context...). I, on the other hand, don't know anything about it; but...I have seen some examples.  I remember, when I hadn't been around this area for long, I would see the orchard at the Apple Castle and wondered why the apple trees were so tiny.  One time, at one of their fall fests, the kids and I went on a hayride and they explained how they prune the apple trees every year so they can produce nice, juicy and sweet fruits.  That was intriguing...but it sure helped me understand better the lessons in John 15.  The more I drove by that orchard during season and saw the tiny trees packed full with apples, the more the whole thing made sense:  God, as the Good Gardener, wants us to be fruitful.  And for that, pruning is essential.

It's still very hard, though.  Who likes to be pruned, cut and trimmed?  NOT. ME.  But, apparently, we are the apple trees in the orchard, and if we want our apples to be ever so juicy, sweet and delish, we must endure the harshness of the pruning blade...sigh.  And, the funny thing is, even when we are producing fruit, He keeps on pruning us faithfully, so our fruit gets better and better every time we bloom...

There's no just sitting around in the Kingdom of God.  We think we got something going on that makes us feel as if we're all set and won't need to adjust anything for the long run...when, BAM! there come the shears...and it's all because our Heavenly Gardener doesn't want our growth to be stunted or our fruit to become bland.  He wants us to be productive plants in His Garden.  He wants our branches to continue to produce delightful fruit every season, and that won't happen unless we feel the steel of the blade on our skin.

Me:  "NO HAIRCUT NOW!  Maybe like the day before school starts...maybe...ugh!!!"

Dylan walks away smiling.  He knows he's got me.  Of course I would take him in for a trim.  I do want him to look good...I just hope I remember this next time it's my turn to face the power of the shears.

Love Without Measure

"Most of mankind's misery stems from feeling unloved," says today's devotional readings in the book Jesus Calling by Sarah Young.  That is a profound true, often disregarded.  The beauty of it all is that we have a Loving Father who doesn't let us forget how much He loves us...just so we don't feel unloved...

The funny thing is, sometimes, in the depth of our stressful, frazzled, frustrating, busy, messy, confusing lives, we don't even know that what we need is just to be reminded of the fact that we are truly, immeasurably, unconditionally and abundantly loved.  Good thing we have a Heavenly Father who knows our every need even before it becomes known to us!

Like this morning...as I woke up already inundated by the overwhelming tasks waiting for me today, deeply saddened by the fact that it is August 1st which means summer is almost over...and carrying the weight of a million real and imagined burdens ... I grabbed my devotional readings, and guess what?  the last 3 all spoke to me about the immensity of God's love...

By the time I put down the last one, I couldn't help but to be in awe. 

I was going to write about pruning today, and about how scared that whole concept makes me.  Instead, I feel an overflow of God's love that moves me to glorify Him and to share it, because, when you're overflowing, it just spills over unto those around you, and there's nothing one can do to stop it! So, here I am...not knowing I need to be reminded of God's infinite love ... and there He is ... pouring into me, filling my cup even without me asking for it ... just so I can testify of the truth found in Ephesians 3: 18b19 as to...

 how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

WOW... here I am, feeling unworthy ... and there He is: lovingly showing me that I am His own forever, because...

...neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8: 38-39

Not even my own self-deprecating and self-defeating way of addressing my struggles will ever lay a brick on a wall between God and me, because such a wall would never be built.  I am loved, deeply loved, dearly loved, multi-dimensionally loved, unimaginably loved and nothing will ever change that truth...and the same is true for you.  

May we all, then, rest in the assurance that He knows us, loves us and never forsakes us.  May we all, then offer Him our all...all to Him... 

to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. (Ephesians 3: 20-21)