Drama Mama?

Am I a drama-mama?  The author of the MomStrong Bible Study says:  "The truth is, some of us are so used to getting caught up in drama that it starts to feel normal, and we even enjoy (often secretly). Are you a drama addict?  Review the telltale signs from chapter 9:  Do you…

                                                              i.      Insert yourself into situations where your presence isn’t necessary or wanted?

                                                             ii.      Get people stirred up over things that are of little to no significance?

                                                           iii.      Need to know about relationships that aren’t your own?

                                                           iv.      Live in the past?

                                                             v.      Believe or claim that your motives for stirring up drama are pure (“I just want to help”)?"

Well, after reviewing the "telltale signs," I can say, pretty confidently, that I don't try to insert my presence when/where it isn't necessary...I'm too lazy for that.  I usually don't try to stir up people over things that are of little to no significance, I got off caring about politics years ago.  I don't really live in the past, my present is too busy, no time for reminiscing.  BUT, I do tend to have a need to know about relationships that aren't my own...and I often claim that my motives for intruding are pure...the old "I just want to help" tag line has come out of my lips once or twice when the real motive is my thirst for knowing what's going on.  In other words, I occasionally fall in the trap of gossip. 

My mouth runs away from me and often I find myself caught up to my neck in a web of hearsay until the chatter gets so loud I can't even discern the truth from all the spinning.  It's awful.  I don't want to be like that.  I'm too old for this.  Sometimes, when I pause long enough to hear myself, I'm ashamed.  I sound like a 13 year-old girl back in middle school.  I should be more mature that this!  I should know better than to fall for the buzz...but, many times I stumble and next thing I know...yeah...I could be a gossip...

One good antidote against the trap of gossip, like the author of the book mentions, is to recognize when it's happening and just walking away.  Be intentional about excusing yourself from the site where gossip is being generated and just leave before it even starts.  But, the trick is to be discerning, to pay attention, to recognize it.  And how do we recognize we are immersing ourselves into gossip?  Well, simple: is the person we are talking about present? If the answer is "no" chances are, that's a red flag.  Unless we are planning a surprise party or trying to figure out what to get her/him for a special occasion, if we are talking about someone else's situation, and that person is not present...it might be bordering gossip.

I know...what does this mean?  Are we not allowed to even vent?  What if we just need to get something off our chests?  Are we not supposed to do that?  What if I get an ulcer from bottling up my anguish?  I don't know.  I guess, if it is done in the spirit of just sharing with a trusted friend to seek advice on how to handle a particularly difficult situation it's OK.  But, if we take it to social media and open it up for a public debate where the other person is getting berated and doesn't even have a chance to defend herself or himself, that's a different story.

What about if we are the person that is acting as the confidant?  Well...I guess, our role should be limited to listening as much as possible.  To be there for our friends in need is one of the most important rules of friendship.  Therefore, being there is important.  Dragging our friend in need into unnecessary anguish is not.  I believe our role should be limited to listening and then, asking the Holy Spirit for guidance in case we need to interject BEFORE we say anything.  That the words that come out of our mouths be words that are inspired by the One who knows and is able to heal...not by our desire to gossip.

I'm pretty much saying all this to myself.  I don't want to regret my actions.  I want to be intentional about being aware of my gossiping tendencies so I can stop and walk away or at least remain silent when I can't leave. I don't want to be a drama mama...I just want to be a good friend, and give an example to my kids on how to steer clear from the chatter.  It never leads to anywhere healthy. But, in order to accomplish all these, I need to be tuned into the Holy Spirit.  Even a quick 911 is an effective tool when we feel ourselves falling.  May the Grace and Mercy of Our Lord Jesus keep us on the right track to holiness as we walk on the road of sanctification. May He keep our feet from slipping.  May He rescue us when we fall.  Amen!