Stretched too Thin?

"Wow, Mama...I'm going to be really busy, huh?" Dylan said to me yesterday as we wrapped up a whirlwind of a day filled with doctor's appointments and other errands.  "Yep..." I said with a sigh as I mindlessly nodded, looking ahead at the hectic pace waiting for us in the coming months.  If Dylan thinks he'll be busy...multiply that times 4 for me...sigh...

Allergy shots 45 minutes away from home every Monday for the next 6 months; physical therapy twice a week for the next 6 to 12 weeks; drum lessons once a week for the next year; basketball tryout and then practice if he makes it to the team; plus all the school work and all the pushing and pulling so he can stay on track...that's Dylan.  Then, more pushing and pulling and dragging, now with Grant for him to master parallel parking and other wonders of the drivers licence test so he can finally drive himself to band practice twice a week for the foreseeable future...and back home from games every Friday...but...what car is he going to use??? Then, Youth Group (also 45 minutes away)...and all...ALL...the infinitely frustrating and aggravating details of college applications (too many to list...) which have to be all done by Thanksgiving...Lord have mercy...then...my job, which is becoming so consuming I might have to bring a sleeping bag into my office...why I said yes to teaching an extra class at Grove City College is beyond me??? O, yeah, because it has always been my dream to work there...but WHY did I say yes to teaching that extra class there??? Then, of course, there's Dan, the dog and the house (probably not necessarily in that order) ...

Needless to say, I can see an avalanche of stress rushing down the mountain that is my calendar getting closer and closer every day, threatening to engulf me and swallow me up alive...if I'm still alive by then, that is.  And I just have 2 kids!  Hats off to those with anything more than that...you're all super women to me!

Am I feeling like I'm stretched out too thin?  I'm stretched, alright...I have the marks to prove it...and the gray hair...and the lines on my face...sigh...

The author of the MomStrong Bible study asks a couple of questions on this subject: 
1. "How accurately does the way you use your time reflect your priorities?
2. "Do you agree that most of the stress we struggle with is self-inflicted?"

I can't answer these questions without feeling convicted...even before I begin to formulate my answers in my head; I know I'm not going to like what I'm going to say...if I'm honest, that is...

Does the use of my time reflect my priorities?  Well, of course!  Time is the most valuable item we possess in this side of eternity.  It is fleeting and very finite.  Therefore, we are constrained by the way we use it.  And if we are not intentional...we'd end up wasting it, which we would regret sooner rather than later.  But, the deeper question here is: am I being intentional about what my priorities are so I can spend my limited time wisely?  Well...I don't know. 

I need to work.  But, do I need to make myself so crazy with all the extra work I put on over my shoulders?  Probably not.  I could say no to some assignments and to some activities.  However, my need to excel and to demonstrate my worth move me to take on more and more and more responsibilities at work.  I didn't have to accept the offer to teach a class at another college; but my desire to say: "I'm teaching a class at Grove City College," took over my reality of being already stretched too thin. So, now I'm in too deep...gotta swim or sink, even though these things should not be high in the priority list, I placed them there, and now I'm stuck. (Mental note to see what I can do about this next semester)

I have two kids I need to take care of.  But, do they need to be in all the activities and other things they are into in order to survive and have a good life in Christ:  in a way, yes...so the things my kids do should be high in the priority list. (Another mental note here: kids' stuff=high priority)

I am married and I'm about to celebrate my 25th anniversary in a few days.  But, does that mean I have to keep marriage as a high priority?  Pause....sound of crashing cymbals and pounding drums in the background...resounding yes in the foreground.  My marriage is the most important relationship I have on this earth.  Marriage is the reason I left my Father's house and my country of birth!  I am one only with my husband...there is no closer bond between me and any other human being...not even my kids...

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." Genesis 2: 24

So, why is it so low in my priority list? Because I tend to push aside what I think I have already accomplished and forget to nurture what I think has already matured.  And, in doing so, I totally neglect the direct command I received the day I said "I do":

22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 

Ephesians 5: 22-23

"...as to the Lord..."

That tiny piece of this important passage of Scripture is what today captures my attention and convicts my soul: "...as to the Lord..."

Could it be, perhaps, that the reason I don't have my husband high in the list of priorities is because I don't have the Lord at the spot where He needs to be: the absolute, highest priority?

You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. Deuteronomy 6: 5

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Matthew 6: 33

“You shall have no other gods before me.”  Exodus 20: 3

Am I neglecting my relationship with my husband, because I'm neglecting my relationship with God? Am I forgetting the command to submit to my own husband, because I'm neglecting the commandment to submit to my Lord and to love Him above all else? Am I forgetting to seek my husband and his love, because I'm forgetting to seek Christ first?  Am I leaving my husband behind in the busyness of life because I am leaving the Almighty behind in my quest for other gods?  Is the stress of this realization all self-inflicted because I don't know how to make my priorities reflect who I really love the most?

I don't have to answer these questions, do I?

I pray that the Lord will guide my steps from now on to re-arrange my priorities in a way that they do reflect accurately, that the way I use my time shows that I know what should always be first in my list.  And, may the Holy Spirit help me and all of us trapped in this "stretched too thin" lifestyle, that we don't need to be self-inflicting stress into our lives.  On the contrary, that the Holy Spirit will show us how to unload our burdens onto Him so we can find rest and gain His strength.  Amen.