He Is the King of Who I Am

Well...last night was our last Bible Study meeting and a bunch of MomStrong Moms are now out in the world doing their thing! And that's wonderfully exciting!  Except that I'm going to miss this group.  Every Monday night for the last 6 weeks we gathered together in fellowship, seeking to grow closer to Christ as we walk together in this ministry of motherhood...and now...it's over...but the challenge remains:

To think of proactive steps that we can take to get serious about our walk with God.

A great challenge, indeed.  And, to tell you the truth...I don't know how to answer it.  When I look back at my life, I feel like I am miles upon miles away from when my walk with Christ began...a lost, young soul who didn't even know what having a "personal relationship with God" meant.  I remember listening to Pastor Doug talk about it from the pulpit feeling like I should have known what that was all about, but realizing I hadn't a clue!  But...then...I look at my life today and realize I have SO MUCH road to cover still.  I am not where I should be, or at least, not where I'd like to be.  And all I know is that I'm standing somewhere, not sure where, confused as to where to go next.

In my opinion, I should be this seasoned, matured, well-centered, poised, calm and collected woman of God that is 100% immersed in the river of peace and who walks with the glow of The Almighty's Light for the whole world to see!  In reality, I look in the mirror and I see this middle-age woman, past her prime, who is still acting as an immature, clumsy, messy, clueless, air head with shaky faith whose idea of peace is reduced to being able to spend 2 hours watching a flick in her IPad, sitting in the dark when everyone else is already sleeping late at night. 

How could I ever, possibly suggest steps that can help anyone get serious about their walk with God?

I don't even know where I am, myself!  I panic at the thought of things not going my way.  I lose it at the slightest mishap.  I become paralyzed at the first sign of a detour.  I fall flat on my face with the smallests of bumps.  I feel like the world is ending when I hit the tiniest pothole...sigh...

I have been trying to get serious and mature in my walk with God, but I'm still an infant.  I don't know how to hide His Word in my heart or how to make it be a lamp unto my feet and a light into my life!

I need help.

Sigh...

I wish I could have a formula:  follow these 5 easy steps and grow closer to God!  But I don't.  In reality, I believe it's impossible to have a "one-formula-fits-all" type of deal because it is a personal journey.  We each embark on it at different times, on different ports and with different accommodations.  Our job is to embrace it by placing ourselves under the guidance of the Holy Spirit, our True Captain and by stepping on it with both feet, trusting that the One at the wheel knows where we're going and how to get us there.

This journey comes in with humility:  the humility of surrender.

It takes humility to accept that the mess, the confusion, the fear, the cluelessness, the sadness, the melancholy, the difficulties, the hurts, the pain, the loneliness, the disappointments, the stress, the entire package of our life is a part of the voyage too...and we can't sanitize it.  We can't pretend we've got it all together, because the more we pretend, the more we hang onto the lie that it is up to us, and the longer we do that, the more exhausted and demoralized we become...hence, the more we tread water and stay adrift. 

Surrendering ourselves to the great unknown requires great humility because surrender implies lack of control, which equals admitting it's not up to us...and that is a humbling experience.  But the promised peace will not start to flow like a river unless we submit our will to His and let go of our own.

I guess, now that I've thought about it a bit more, if you'd ask me:  how do I get serious about my walk with God, I'd say:  cast your crown at His feet and let go so He can be Lord over your life!

I pray that the Holy Spirit will allow us to surrender our wills to Him so Christ can occupy His Throne in our hearts as the Rightful King of who we are!