Grant's Pick

There's Grant.  Riding solo...LCF last night

We are a movie family.  I mean...not like we are a picture-perfect clan...not even a little bit.  What I mean is that we enjoy watching movies together.  Movie watching consumes a great deal of our time. Films are so ingrained in us that our conversations often circle back to films we've seen, and we basically speak and see the world in movie references.  The funny thing is that more often than not, we actually agree on our likes and dislikes.  Even when someone suggests a movie, and the rest are not too keen on it...once we watch it, we end up agreeing on our final opinions about the film: we all agree that it was either a good choice or a poor one...except for yesterday, that is...

Grant had mentioned he wanted to see this one flick...he's like:  "it's about a book I read at NCCA!"  So I was like:  well, if it's about a book he read when he was 10 years or younger at the Christian school he attended until 5th grade...how bad could it be? Right?

Anyway, since we are squeezing in as many movies as we can before the beginning of the school year, and the night before we had gone to a late showing of a movie Dylan had been begging me to take him to see...I figured it was time to watch a Grant's pick.  We were the only three souls in the theater.  Cool!  We got to seat close to the front and dead center!  We put our feet up and got comfy.  The film was PG-13 and Grant had done the research...no bad words, no inappropriate adult content..."it's just a little scary," he'd said.  OK, we can take a little scary, no biggie.

Let's just say that next time we see a Grant's pick, I will make sure I am the one reading the plugged-in reviews.  The film was terrifying!  I watched most of it through my fingers and Dylan had a panic attack at one scene! (He'll kill me if he ever finds out I'm telling people about this!!! so shhhhh) Then, I looked at Grant, and he was smiling and savoring every bit of it as if it was cotton candy and M&Ms!!!  What's wrong with that child!!???  He is not my son!!!

Well...thinking about these has brought to mind what author, Heidi St. John writes on the book Becoming MomStrong, which we are using for the Bible study (which, incidentally, we're about to wrap up next Monday): 

The author says: "God trusts us to raise His children. They’re not really ours, after all. They’re on loan to us from the Creator. Our job is to train these precious children to hear God’s still, small voice above all the other voices competing for their attention, both today and in the years to come.

How does it change your perspective on parenting to realize that your children belong to God?"

Sigh...

This is such a timely reminder for me at this season of my life when I am stepping into Grant's senior year:  He is not mine to keep.  Grant belongs to God and He just placed him in my arms as a loan...

Honestly, I don't like to see motherhood from that perspective.  But it is the only perspective I need.  Grant is a gift.  He is a true miracle.  He came to us when we thought we would never have biological children.  God worked His purpose for us through the deepest pain and disappointment, and He placed that baby in our arms 17 years ago to love and to cherish, but also to train as His follower so he could perform the work God has prepared for him...apart from us...

Man...that's a hard concept to grasp for a Mom...

Grant's not mine to keep.  As a young boy he's been my constant companion, my sound board, my steady hand, my source of deepest worry and joy...and now it is my job to get him ready to fly solo...as I stand behind and watch him soar on the wings of His Heavenly Father.

He is like me in so many ways...but he is not me.  And that's OK.  He is his own person, and even though I might not recognize most of who that person is or will be, God knows him.  He made Grant and He has a purpose for that young man...and I just have to trust.

When we got out of the theater, Dylan and I yelled at Grant for putting us through such an ordeal.  Then, we laughed and went to the fair to have one last summer hurray eating greasy foods, ice cream and watching the cousins play in their school band.  It was a beautiful evening with rain, rainbows and a gorgeous sunset.  As I watched Grant get on the scary carnival rides all by himself, I smiled ... there's our boy, God, beautifully gentle but fearless.  "Oh the places you'll go, and the things you will do!"