A Thorn in the Flesh

Grant and Dylan at the Alive Festival, July 2019

Do I have the equivalent of the Apostle Paul's "thorn in the flesh"? (2 Corinthians 12: 7-10)  I do.  I have "thorns" rather.  Not just one, but I think I have several things that I carry around as reminders of the fact that I'm weak, but that when I am weak, then I am strong.  The funny thing is that often these thorns are actually people.  Yes, I think often our thorns are people whose actions/attitudes/behaviors towards us cause us to live in torment.

However, one thing I have never, really, truly considered is: am I someone else's thorn in THEIR flesh?

O dear...

I never thought about that reversed situation until a few weeks ago.  The realization happened when my sons came back from a 4-night camping trip at the ALIVE Christian Music Festival.  Both of them seemed to have been truly touched by all that they witnessed at this event.  In the ride home after I picked them up, however, Dylan said something that upset me and that set me off on a huge rant, which, of course, involved lots of yelling at both of my sons. 

After the 45 minute ride home was over and I had had time to cool off...I realized that I had been irrational so I asked my boys for forgiveness.  Dylan was quick to be nice and accept my apologies so we could move on.  Grant, on the other hand...was gracious but challenging. I had a talk with him and he said something that stung worst than a thousand wasps.  He said: "it's not the first time that I come back from a mountain top experience with God and the enemy pushes me down so I forget and revert to my old self, but I'm not going to allow him to do that this time."

ouch...

I know it wasn't his intention to make me feel horrible.  But his words made me realize that I am a thorn in his flesh...I am a tool the enemy uses to make my own son stumble.

I felt so small...

I had prayed and prayed that the Lord would reveal Himself to them in very special ways during their time at the Alive Festival, and I believe He truly did.  Then, they came home to me...and they quickly began to tumble down that wonderful mountain top experience they'd just had...and all because of my insensitivity and selfishness.  I don't think I would be able to forget Grant's words for as long as I live.  And I hope I never forget them.  I need to keep that pain fresh so I remember not to continue to be the person who pushes them off their time of elation with God. 

However, and even though I feel terribly ashamed of this situation, thanks to the MomStrong's reminder of Paul's words in 2 Corinthians 12: 7-10, I am able to deal with my guilt in a healthier manner.  Me being a thorn in Grant's flesh has become a thorn in my own flesh.  And, that is a good thing.  It's a good thing because it is a reminder to stay humble.  It's a reminder to be aware of my selfish and irrational tendencies so I can, hopefully keep them in check.  It's a reminder that I am weak, therefore, I have nothing to boast about other than the Lord.

7 or because of these surpassingly great revelations. Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12: 7-10

Do I have a thorn in my flesh?  Not only I have several; but I am one as well...and that's the one I am aware of.  However, I pray that the Lord will give me the right attitude and perspective to deal with all these in a way that bring Him Honor and Glory as well as peace to my heart.  His grace IS sufficient and His Love covers a great multitude of sin.  I remain under His wings, even as I make huge mistakes.  I trust His Word, I trust His Strength. Amen!