How Do We Know...Part II

To speak up or to be quiet…that is the question.  I stick my foot (sometimes not just one : ) in my mouth so many times in a given day, that I’m convinced the best policy for me is to remain silent at all times.  If you ask my kids, and husband, they’ll agree!  They all think I talk way too much.  The worst part is that nobody listens!  One of my recurrent complaints is how little the boys in this house seem to hear me when I speak.  I am always amazed at say Grant, for example, and how he looks like he is listening.  Last night, just for a quick illustration, as I was giving him specific instructions on what he needed and not needed to do in order to complete his homework, he was standing a few inches from me, nodding in agreement and following with his eyes, indicating with his body language that he was intently paying attention to my words, only to have him turn around and do completely the opposite of what I’ve told him to do.  I just couldn’t believe it!  I asked him, “did you hear anything I said to you?”  Of course, he could do nothing else other than to shake his head in shame.  So I went and complained about it to Dan, and guess what?  He didn’t hear anything I said either! 

As you can see then, if left to my own devices, I am clueless as to when it is prudent to speak, when I am speaking too much, or when it is better to be quiet.  I’m back on that ledge, not knowing what to do next.

A clue to finding out how do we know when to speak may come up when we continue reading Psalm 39.  David says:  “But when I was silent and still, not even saying anything good, my anguish increased.  My heart grew hot within me, and as I meditated, the fire burned; then I spoke with my tongue…”  We can sense that anguish David is talking about.  As we read these verses, we can almost see David standing on that ledge, torn.  Keeping silent was killing him. 

We’ve felt what the psalmist felt in this passage, haven’t we?  We recognize these moments when a fire is blazing inside of us and we’ve got to say something or we’ve regret it for the rest of our days.  But there is one very important detail tucked in between these lines, which we might miss if we are not reading carefully.  The shepherd-king says:  “and as I meditated…”  He did not keep quiet for long, only while it was prudent to do so.  The all consuming fire of God’s righteousness burned inside of him until he could not keep quiet anymore; but that didn’t mean David spoke carelessly, without thinking, saying the first thing that came out of his mouth, which he might’ve later regretted.  He meditated first.  He paused before he spoke.  He went to the Lord.  He reviewed in his mind and soul who God is and sought His guidance, and then he spoke.  And what he spoke was magnificently profound. 

As I ponder these ideas, I realized that David didn’t have the advantages that we have today as Christians.  He did not have the full Bible.  He did not know Jesus.  So for us, if we think about it, the choice should be less anguish-provoking.  The answer to the age-old question of how do we know when to speak up and when to keep our pretty little mouths nicely shut lays on how close of a relationship we have with our Holy Counselor who resides within us, for He is the Spirit of truth, and as such He will guide us into all truth (John 16:13).

Maybe, next time we are agonizing on whether it is the right time to say something or if it is better to be silent, we should ask ourselves:  “have I talked this over with the Holy Spirit?  Have I asked the Holy Spirit for guidance?  Have I asked the Holy Spirit to let me know whether it is the right time to say something or better not yet?”  If the answer to any of these questions is no, we must spend even if a fleeting moment in meditation, asking the Holy Spirit to guide our actions, words or lack of thereof.  If we can honestly answer yes to them; then it is time to listen to His whisperings and promptings and not second guess ourselves. 

Sometimes the promptings are subtle, like a nagging feeling or a lingering thought; but sometimes they are just like red hot lava running through our veins.  We must trust that, once we have placed the dilemma in the hands of the Holy One, He will guide us.  We must believe Him and believe that when we have said to Him:  “Lord, I am clueless, you know it well, but I trust You and I trust that You will guide my actions,”  He will let us know when the time is right.  Do not be anxious and trust.  Trust that He will give you the go so you can jump, or will grab you by the arms so you’d go back inside.  And do not feel guilty for prayerfully choosing to remain silent.  Remember that in the presence of evil, sometimes that is the best choice.  Self-control is a fruit of the Spirit, and He will let us know when to exercise it.  In the meantime, let us pray that we can, “be still and know…” 

This morning, after I gave my usual litany of recommendations to the boys as they walked out the door to go to school, Dan said, “with the boys, less is better.”  That’s all he said, but I knew what he meant.  That was Dan’s way of reminding me that, whereas it is important to speak up and proclaim truth so we don’t betray a righteous cause, be it raising godly children or electing the president of the nation; sometimes measuring and carefully choosing our words would have a bigger impact for the furthering of God’s plan. 

p.s.:  Hey, do you think Dan might’ve actually listened to me last night?!