Wednesday, September 10, 2014
He Always Has and He Always Will
“Grant…Dylan, Jesus loves you, He always has and He always will…”
I absolutely loved it when the Pastor took time during communion to bless our sons and utter these words upon them as he looked them in the eyes with his hands placed kindly on their heads. I could hardly contain the tears. I tell you, the communion bread went down my throat in a knot.
It may be just me, but there is something about loving our children that feels like we are walking around with a knife stuck right in our hearts…it is hard to describe this kind of love. In my case, it feels more like pain than anything else. It is like I am in constant agony. So when I hear loving words spoken to them with sincerity, about the fact that Jesus does love my little children, my heart melts. I feel relief. I am not alone in the world loving and caring for these kids. I am only keeping them for a little while until they are released to do God’s purpose and fulfill His plan for them.
My job is to pray their every step into the road that will lead them to Christ. I cannot make them walk on that road. They have to hear His voice calling their names…but I can show them the way. It is up to them and to Their Heavenly Father to make them take it, but my responsibility is to point to it, and to encourage them to go.
It’s not easy, though…parents all over the world can testify…this is the hardest job in the world. It breaks not just your back, and your bank account, but it breaks your heart almost on a daily basis, and you don’t know what to do to fix it. It is exhausting. It makes you sick with worry and despair. Sleepless nights make for sleep-walking days. It consumes your mind. It weakens your soul. It turns your prayer life into a panic button, and peace seems to be nowhere in sight.
I can’t do this thing. I won’t make it out alive!
Well, perhaps I’m right. I can’t do this on my own. It is not meant to be like that. Parenting is something that has to be done on your knees, with Christ by your side. I could not survive without knowing that Jesus’ loving arms are there to receive my children when I have done all I can. There comes a moment in a parent’s day, when we can only go so far, and from there, our children have to walk alone by the hand of their Big Brother to meet the Father’s will.
We may not understand the road that God has laid out for our children, but we have to trust it will be a good road in the end. He cannot go against His nature, and He is Good, Faithful and above all, He is Love. He loves our children, He always has, and He always will.