Ever since I discovered Christian radio, that’s all I listen to anymore. I usually keep my car radio tuned into a Christian music station, so as soon as I start it, on comes the praise. Listening to the music and meditating on the lyrics has a calming effect which I crave on a daily basis, especially on days like the last few when I am waiting for test results and such.
Sometimes, however, the radio in my 12-year-old car has problems tuning into my favorite station. Yesterday was one of those days. As I was in the middle of my short morning commute to work, the car radio turned to nothing but static noise. I was almost to the parking lot, and I was still fiddling with the dial trying to see if any of the 3 repeaters of the station that I like would work. It was to no use, so I gave up, and just flipped it to the Christian Talk Station where they play not much music, but mostly Bible teaching.
As I pulled into a parking spot, I caught the last few words of a message by Charles Stanley on Levels of Faith. The words were so convicting to me at this particular season of my life that I had to write them down. He said: “Not to trust God is an insult to Him.”
It was as if I had done the ALS ice-water-bucket challenge all over again.
I have been seriously struggling with anxiety and fear which translates into lack of trust. I have been praying the Lord will deliver me, give me peace, the one that surpasses all understanding, and also good test results : ) but I continue to struggle. I know the Bible is filled with God’s promises and that they are all true. I claim His Word, and repeat it in my heart over and over and over again,
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Prov. 3:5&6
God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1
In the day of my trouble I call upon you, for you answer me. Psalm 86:7
This God–his way is perfect; the word of the LORD proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him. Psalm 18:30
Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. John 14:1
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. John 14:27
But I still have trust issues and they result in my current state of anxiety. The enemy knows my weak spots and he uses them to keep me focused on myself and my fear rather than on the face of He who is Peace and Strength. The enemy is not very creative. He knows what works and he uses it repeatedly. I can recognize it. But I am weak and I succumb to his familiar schemes again and again.
But God is Faithful and He knows what He is doing. Where the Devil uses my circumstances to crush me and to keep me away from my Heavenly Father, God uses them to make me stronger and to draw me closer to Him. And just the same, God knows what I need and He sends it to me right when I need it most. He knows when I need the tender embrace of a friend. He knows when I need the kind words of someone wiser. He knows when I need to lighten my burden. He knows when I need to wake up.
He knew I didn’t need music that morning. He knew I needed the sobering words of a Bible Teacher to remind me, to wake me up like ice water to my face, that my eyes must be kept on Christ, that He knows what He is doing in my life regardless of how things may look like to me, and that not to trust Him is…well…an insult to His Faithfulness.
I know He’s got this. So I gotta let go of it.