Monday, October 20, 2014

Remind Me Who I am

Search me, God, and know my heart;

test me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me,

and lead me in the way everlasting. Psalm 139: 23-24

Reading these verses in church yesterday caused me to pause for a minute. Really, it was the phrase “anxious thoughts” what caught my eye. The Lord knows all too well how anxious thoughts wreak havoc in my mind more often that I can say. That’s when it hit me. Since God, obviously knows me better than I or anyone else knows me…since He created my “inmost being”…since He knows my every thought and my every word completely even before they form…the searching that He does in me is, perhaps, not for His own benefit, but...for me.

He doesn’t need to search me to figure out who I am. He already knows it! He searches me so I can know me.

I am the one who needs to know herself.

Therefore, I pray the Lord will search me so I may know my own heart and know how deceitful it could be. I pray that He will search me and show me how I should not trust the inclinations of my feelings and emotions. I pray that He will test me so I may clearly see that my anxious thoughts are nothing more than that…thoughts…they are not real. They are a fabrication of my unsettled mind and of my untrusting heart. I pray that He will show me if there is any offensive way in me so the Holy Spirit may lead me out of it and into the way that will take me to life everlasting.

Search me, test me and let me see who I am and who I can become in You.

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