Feeling of Exile

 It has been over two years since I've been able to visit my native Panama.  This is the longest I've been away since I first left...about 30 years ago...

The absence is puncturing a deep hole in my heart, and I can't patch it up.  I fear I might bleed out and die. I know I sound melodramatic; but I really miss Panama.  I miss the people, my family, the sounds, the smells, the sights, the sunshine, the warmth. I feel like I'm in exile.

I know the implications of the word "exile" do not apply to my circumstances.  However, there are times in everyone's lives that a sense of exile emerges from the depths of one's heart.  The imposed distance that we are all experiencing in the current circumstances, for instance, leaves us feeling as if we were far away from home, does it not?

Home calls us, whatever "home" is to us...and we can't go...that is exile.  And it hurts.  It deeply hurts.  It is agonizing.

Panama is calling me and I can't answer.  School is calling Dylan, and he can't answer.  Thanksgiving gatherings are calling families, and we can't go.  Church is calling, and we might not be able to come either...loved ones are leaving us, and we can't even say goodbye.  It is too much to bear.  We are not meant to be far from home.

This gloomy morning makes me feel the weight of the distance even more.  But, there is hope!  I have to believe that Hope never is far away.  And my hope is that there is One calling me whom I can answer.  There is One calling me, and I don't have to keep away.  There is One calling me to whom I can run and cling, because He is ready to embrace me in His wide open arms.  

He made me, He chose me, and He calls me...and, because I belong to Him, I hear him and I can come to Him always. (Isaiah 43: 1)

 Praised be the Lord, The One who calls us and shows us our way back home.  Let's hang on to Him, and trust that soon we will be released and be free...no more exile.  May we all hear His voice and answer His call.  May He soon lead us back home.