Moments of Thankful Awareness

 My devotional reading this morning began with this line:  "I'm calling you to a life of thankfulness."  It continued: "I want all your moments to be punctuated with thanksgiving.  the basis for your gratitude is My sovereignty." And the kicker was:  "When you criticize or complain you're acting as if you could run the world better than I do." (Jesus Calling by Sarah Young)

So, today, I want to pause the complaining...I want to stop the whining...I don't want to spend time criticizing...I want to have a heart filled with thanksgiving!

It's been a rough semester.  My levels of stress have been very high.  On top of that, I'm losing my beloved Administrative Assistant by the end of this month, and that is making me feel utterly lost.  I caught myself crying in an empty room last night, thinking all these thoughts, feeling completely alone...when a thought ignited in my mind:  you are not alone.  I'm here.  You depend on Me.  That thought surprised me.  It should not have, though...but it did...and the reason these marvelous thoughts surprised me is because too often I don't pause enough to allow myself to hear the soft voice of the Holy Spirit speaking directly to me.  

When the thought startled me enough to make me pause my self-pity party, I immediately recognize it.  In a moment of thankful awareness, I reformulated my prayer...from a panicky "God, what am I going to do? How am I going to survive?"  To a prayer of thanksgiving where I offered the Lord my greatest gratitude for allowing me one year with my Assistant, to have her as my support, my teacher and my guide during the roughest year of my professional life...and for shaking away the feelings of desperation in which I was rapidly sinking.  I thanked Him for making me see that He is my support.  He is the One I depend on.  He is the Only One who will never leave me.  He is My Constant Light.  And, as always, He is the One Who Will Deliver Me...the same way He has done it in the past, He will continue to sustain me for as long as I'm around.

I know it will be hard to complete my term as Chair without my dear Assistant...but I also know that I don't need to panic.  I am not in control.  And for that, I am thankful.  I am not the one running the world.  And for that, I am most grateful.  My thanksgiving is punctuated by His sovereignty.  He is the One Who Rules everything that happens in the entire world as well as in my little existence.  There is no room to fear when we are in the Arms of the Almighty...there is no need to feel lost when we are on the road that has been opened by His Loving Hands.  I trust Your Sovereignty, Lord.  I trust Your Presence.  I trust You will cover me with Your Strength.  Help me live a life of thanksgiving regardless of the circumstances.  In the Precious Name of Jesus.  Amen!