Once Again, I Choose...

Well, the first few days of school are over and my resolution to releasing my sons into God´s hands for the fulfillment of His purpose for them is going as well as it is to be expected. I’m not as worried as I thought I’d be, but I’m still anxious.

You know? As a parent, sometimes we create an image in our heads of how our children should be like…well, maybe not all parents do that, but I certainly am guilty of indulging on this self-designed fantasy…The thing is that there are moments when the fantasy seems possible! At rare occasions, I see something that leads me to believe that my kids will actually fit into the mold I have created for them. At those moments, I feel like I could fly with elation and happiness. Soon, however, reality hits me in the head like a brick (two bricks, actually) and the realization that the image I’ve created in my mind still is and will always be a fantasy causes me great disillusion.

There are SO many things wrong with what I have just stated above that dissecting it could take years of useless analysis with only one conclusion: I need help!

But, what can I say? I have to be honest with myself. Pretending I’m something I’m not is not going to make me be a better parent just as pretending that my kids are something they are not is not the solution. Forcing them to fit into the image I have created for them is utterly ridiculous. Hey, at least I’m aware of this now…a while ago, I was still under the impression that I could control my sons’ lives. So, there is hope for me, right?

The thing is that the unknown, the uncontrollable, the unpredictable causes me great anxiety. I fear when I don’t know what will happen. I tremble at the thought of unforeseen outcomes. I crumble when I see alterations to my plans. I get nervous when I face circumstances that I was not expecting, especially if they disturb my routine. I become overwhelmed very easily. Stress bubbles over instantly when things don’t go my way.

Well, it all comes down, again, to the issue of trust. And once again, God speaks to me through the things I have around me. Today, as it often is, it was my devotional reading: “Trust Me in the midst of a messy day. Your inner calm…your Peace in My Presence…need not be shaken by what is going on around you…When you start to feel stressed, detach yourself from the disturbances around you. Instead of desperately striving to maintain order and control in your little world, relax and remember that circumstances cannot touch My Peace. Seek My Face, and I will share My mind with you, opening your eyes to see things from My perspective.”

There you go!

That’s why the Apostle Paul told us through his letter to the Philippians, Chapter 4: 6-8

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think on these things.

Paul’s formula is: Prayer + Petition with Thanksgiving = Peace that surpasses all understanding. But in order to maintain that peace, we need to check our thought-life. We need to remove the disturbing ideas from our head, remove ourselves from an environment that increases our fear and anxiety and instead, surround ourselves with everything that is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy. I need to intentionally fill my head with the things of God in order not to have any room left for anxious thoughts or delusions of control. I need stay on course, and concentrate on seeking Him first, and then allow Him to smooth out the road where I walk.



It’s a beautiful Friday afternoon. The first football game of the season is tonight and I have to work at the concession stand with the other Band Booster Moms. Grant decided to stay at school to hang out with some other band members, and Dylan came home telling me exciting stories of his day at school. Regardless of how I feel, I’d say the new year is off to a great start. I choose to trust Him!