Jesus Speaks to Women: Luke 1

30 But the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary; you have found favor with God." 

Luke 1: 30

I absolutely love this verse... the words, "do not be afraid..." to hear those words from a messenger sent to you directly and intentionally from God...and to hear your name spoken by that angel..."Do not be afraid, Mary..." WOW!

I think I've spent way too much of my life being afraid.  I am so tired of it.  For as long as I can remember, I've been afraid of something.  When I was little, I was always afraid my parents would die and leave me alone and destitute.  I was a child of my parent's ... how shall I say it? winter?  So, even though I have two siblings, I grew up practically as an only child, since they are so much older than me.  I depended on my parents for everything, just like all children do.  But I was always very aware of they being so much older than all of my friends' parents...and that troubled me.  I was convinced that, if they were to passed away while I was still young, my big brother and sister wouldn't care about me one bit.  History had showed me how little they seem to care about me or about what I had to say.  So I feared...and that's just my earliest memories of fear...I could write volumes on that topic.

It's interesting how today's verse makes me think about an event that happened almost 30 years ago.  On a day like today, I was, again, petrified with fear.  I woke up when it was still dark outside, to the sound of the walls on my room shaking.  I thought it was a thunderstorm.  Sometimes they are so strong in the tropics that the sound waves make the walls shake.  But, I also heard the frazzled voices of American fighter jet pilots scrambling through the radio (I used to sleep with the radio on next to my bed).  I had no clue what was happening.  

I got up and looked out the window.  There were strange lights lighting up the sky.  I lived alone in a small apartment in Panama city, so I was very confused and had nobody to talk to.  I saw there were people standing outside, so my instinct was to open the door and go talk to them and see if they knew what was happening, but, as I put my hands on the door latch, something stopped me and urged me to pick up the phone instead.  I dialed my brother's number.  I heard his groggy voice on the other end.  I had obviously woken him up.  I told him about what I was hearing (by then, it was clear that the thunder was not caused by a natural storm).

He dismissed my worries with a, "it's probably the Americans doing exercises or practice maneuvers.  Go back to bed," as he hung up on me.  I was growing scared by the second.  I tried to call my sister, but the phones became erratic so I couldn't get through.  I called my parents who lived about 4 hours away from Panama city and I was able to get my Dad on the phone.  I felt such a relief when I heard his voice...but he was too far to come and get me out of whatever was going on where I was!  But he listened:  "can you hear it, Dad?  I think those are bombs?!" I remember saying that to him and holding up the phone to pick up the sound.  My Dad always remembered that...he knew something bad was happening and he felt powerless to help me, which I know broke his heart.

The call got interrupted, but then another call came in.  It was my brother.  "Gisela, turn on the TV.  Something is really happening."  As I held the phone in my ear, I turned my little TV on and there he was, President George HW Bush, announcing the attack on Panama in order to take Military Dictator, Noriega out of power.  I was somehow fluent in English by then...but the panic prevented me from understanding much of what he was saying.  I remember hanging up the phone...having NO clue what I was supposed to do next.  I had no car.  There was a curfew and nobody was supposed to be out.  By then, helicopters had begun to fly all over the city really low.  We could see the faces of soldiers standing behind machine guns as they passed by buildings.  It was the most intimidating thing I've ever experienced.  The fear of the power of the American military machine had descended upon us...and I was alone...trapped...

Daylight came.  And with that...the sound of the door bell.  I picked up the receiver.  My brother was downstairs.  He had driven as closed as he could to my apartment building, left the car when he couldn't go any further, and walked the rest of the way to get to me and take me to his home a few miles away.  I have never appreciated my brother more than I did that day.  There are many things that separate us, but on this day, I always make a point to remember what he did for me...how he literally rescued me, and kept me safe in my hour of great fear.

Almost 30 years later, I sit here, remembering that dark, early morning...remembering the feelings of fear and loneliness...remembering how God sent me an angel to take care of me...

He can use anyone: from a direct messenger from Heaven...to our, otherwise, good for not much big brother...the Power of the Almighty is made evident in our moments of great darkness.  That's why I believe, we can all replace Mary's name with ours in this verse...because we have all found favor with God thanks to His Son, Jesus the Christ, born in a manger, of a young virgin, on a scary night, all those many years ago...to rescue our bodies, hearts and souls!  Praise the Lord!