Well, the hour is very near…tomorrow I go in to take my treatment for thyroid cancer and, needless to say, I am not really pumped about it. I spent the morning alone at home, trying to get ready for the 5 day-isolation period that follows taking the radioactive pill, which is the main treatment, and it was a bummer. My mind kept racing and I kept bumping into panicky prayers. You know the kind? Those which you utter in your mind in a moment of…well…panic, when you think the whole world is going to collapse on top of you, hopelessly crushing you…the kind in which you hear the thoughts trembling in your mind (it sounds impossible, but that’s the only way I can explain it). Well, panicky prayers…
I have to say, I am tired of panicky prayers. I want confident assurance, instead!
How do I get that?
Well, if I would just pay attention to whom Our Heavenly Father is, I would not have to wonder such a thing. If I would only remember what He has done in the past, recount His acts, look back and see His constant hand of deliverance and recall the fact that He is Faithful and that His promises are true, I would have no use for panicky prayers. But I so quickly forget…
That’s why even in my forgetfulness and in the midst of my doubt, He comes true. As I opened my devotional today, January 15th, the words on that little page jumped out at me as if straight from above:
“Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? I choose to put my hope in You, O God, for I will yet praise You, my Savior and my God. My soul is downcast within me; therefore I remember You! (Ps. 42:5-6). In all my distress, you too are distressed, and the angel of Your presence saves me. You lift me up and carry me as You have done for Your children through all the days of old (Isa. 45:3). Lord, help me not to fear, for You are with me; I need not be dismayed, for You are my God. You will strengthen me and help me. You will uphold me with Your righteous right hand (Isa. 41:10).”
And there I had it…confident assurance carefully packed by God’s Hand in a nutshell just when I needed it.
God’s timing and mysterious ways never cease to amaze me. He is the source of all power and the key to having that power flowing through us is to stay connected to it through His Word. If I don’t have His Word in my heart, it is going to be more difficult for the Word to come to my rescue in my hour of need. Of course the Lord is resourceful and He will send us His Word regardless, but it sure makes it easier when we stay tapped to Him by the unbreakable cords of Scripture at all times.
I just let out a big sigh of relief as I marveled at God’s Goodness, yet one more time. I dove into the calming waters of His Love and I breathed in His healing power as I felt confident that He walks with me through this fire. He is Lord of All.