God Doesn't Love Me

I’m still thinking about what my husband told me the other day…I live too heavy…I do…

The thing is that the enemy tells me all these lies about how life is supposed to be and how my life is supposed to look like…then, since my life isn’t unfolding anything like that, I get frustrated and afraid, even hurt, and that’s why I carry around a bag full of anger that explodes at the slightest bump on the road. Rather than going with the flow of God’s plan for me, I have mistaken the lies of the enemy for the truth, and I’ve been blindly forcing things, events and circumstances to fit into a pattern that was never real…a reality that never existed. Therefore, my days turn heavy and my yoke becomes extremely difficult to bear.

The enemy lies to us all. He is relentless. Regardless of age or situation, he spits out falsehood and deceit without discrimination. Sometimes, seeing it on other people, my loved ones especially, helps me see it in me. For instance, it is through Dylan, my soon-to-be eleven-year-old son that I see the clearest picture of how the enemy operates in me. Dylan and I are one in temperament and personality. Therefore, looking at him often feels like looking on a mirror.

The other night was a perfect example. I can’t remember what the argument was about, but all I can remember is that Dylan felt so upset that he said: “God doesn’t love me…”

Well, that was bad. I felt like I am doing a horrible job presenting the Gospel to my kid, and I didn’t know how to fix it. However, I also saw, first hand, the impact of the lies the enemy tells us. I mean, really, why would Dylan say that God doesn’t love him? The devil attacks young and old without discriminating against any circumstance or life situation. One of the enemy’s most effective weapons is to instill in us the thought that we are not worthy of God’s love; therefore, we need to distance ourselves from Him out of shame.

And the thing is that we believe his lies. We know the truth, but in our moment of weakness and vulnerability, we forget and fall for the deception.

First of all, of course we are not worthy of God’s love. That is precisely why it is so amazing that He chooses to love us! Who am I that the Maker of the Heavens and the Earth is mindful of me? (Psalm 8:4) That is the gift of Grace…the amazingly glorious gift of God’s riches at Christ’s expense:

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8)

And it is precisely due to our inability to be good enough for God that we must run to His Mercy Seat! (Exodus 25: 17-22) Instead, when we believe the enemy, we do exactly the opposite of what we need to do. We distance ourselves from the One who can redeem us…how crazy is that?

I embraced Dylan that night and assured him that nothing can separate him from the love of God…nothing…

If there is a next time, however, I also need to remember to rebuke the enemy out loud and affirm that we belong to Christ. We belong to the truth!