Our Battles Part 3

Well, it's been two days that I have stayed away from Pepsi or Coca Cola and I praised the Lord for that.  I know it sounds too small a thing to make such a big deal, but there is nothing too big or too small for the Lord!

"For who has despised the day of small things? But these seven will be glad when they see the plumb line in the hand of Zerubbabel-- these are the eyes of the LORD which range to and fro throughout the earth." Zechariah 4: 10

The eyes of the Lord move around all the earth. They see it all. The eyes of the LORD are in every place, Watching the evil and the good. (Proverbs 15: 3)

So, who am I to determine what He sees or not?  Who am I to determine what is too small or too big for Him to take care of?  I just want to be faithful and bring it ALL to Him.  I want to let go and surrender everything at the foot of the Cross.  

I want to really believe that what author Holley Gerth says in her book, You're Going to Be Okay is true:

"You are a beautiful, wonderfully created woman with gifts to offer this world.  You make a difference more than you know.  you are called by God and have a purpose that is beyond what you can even imagine.  He has a good plan for you, and with Him you are unstoppable." (109)

And the only way I can realize all these truths about myself is if I completely trust Him in the big and in the small...

May the Lord's presence be felt strongly in our lives today and always.

Our Battles Part 2

Well, yesterday I confronted one of my bad habits...drinking cola products on a daily basis.  I have avoided doing this for ... like... ever!  I know it's not such a big deal.  And it's not, really, but it is a struggle for me because I just don't want to give it up.  It controls me.  I have walked in the cold and snow to several building in search of Pepsi when the vending machine near our office doesn't work.  I have not been able to fight this habit because I haven't wanted to.  I have allowed it to control me for the most part of my life.  And, as we know, anything that has control over us that is not God, becomes an idol.  I don't want to be under the yoke of an idol.  I want to enjoy the freedom that Christ sacrificed so much to give me.  So, big or small, seemingly insignificant and harmless or deadly damaging, anything that we cannot just drop and give up becomes a battle... a battle for control... a battle for the driver seat, a seat that must only be occupied by Jesus.

That's why yesterday was such a big step for me.  I tried to be obedient and take the advice from Holley Gerth in her book, You're Going to Be Okay, where she says that we need to get God involved in our struggles, not only our spiritual ones, but also our material and physical battles since we are both, spiritual as well as physical beings...and, since He created both sides; He needs to be Lord over both too.

So, with a simple prayer, I invited God to be Lord over my bad habit:  Lord, please, give me what I need in order to stay away from Pepsi today.  Give me the strength, today.

I figured, I'd also better be obedient to Jesus' command to not worry about the future, but about today only:  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (Matthew 6: 34)

So I prayed for grace for the moment.  Leave the grand plans to God.  Worry about today.  If I slip tomorrow, I'll worry about it then.  I know that we serve a Merciful Father, and His Grace is sufficient for every day, and so is His forgiveness.  After all, if Jesus asks us to forgive seventy times seven (Matthew 18: 22), to us, lowly sinners...how much more would He forgive us, right?

I know...I should not make light out of Christ's Words; I'm just trying to believe His them, and trust that He's got me on the Palm of His Hands.  I'm trying to assimilate the fact that He loves me; that I'm the apple of His eye.  I am trying to get rid of the guilt that snares and entangles my heart, keeping me apart from His presence.  I'm trying to seek Him first and keep my eyes on Him.

That's why, this morning, I said the same prayer I said yesterday:  Lord, please, give me what I need in order to stay away from Pepsi today.  Give me the strength, today.

And I will say it again tomorrow and the next day, and the next day...until the petition becomes thanksgiving!

I trust You, Lord.  And in You, I will rejoice!

Our Battles

I have a confession to make:  I like Pepsi...I really like Pepsi...I LOVE Pepsi!!!  I have a hard time functioning without at least 1 Pepsi a day...

Sigh... it's out...

I know it's not healthy.  I know all the damage it causes.  I know I will be paying for my habit dearly.  I know I need to quit.  I can't make myself stop...

In regards to food addictions, this is my fiercest battle.  It wasn't always Pepsi.  It began with Coca Cola.  When I was a little girl, my parents used to get a case of Coca Cola bottles a week.  The Coca Cola truck actually delivered...just like the milk and the bread...they delivered Coca Cola to our neighborhood.  Now that I think about it, it was crazy!  My sister and I used to anxiously wait with the empty crate by the door for the old truck to show up so we can make the trip down the driveway to exchange our crate full of empty bottles for a new one, gleaming with the dark liquid and shiny red bottle caps.  Yes, they were glass bottles with bottle caps that we had to remove with a an actual bottle opener that we had installed in the kitchen.  

Ahhhh...the memories of the burn of the cold drink going down my throat in the hot days in Panama are unforgettable.  Perhaps, they are unforgettable due to the fact that the liquid is still going down my throat every day!

I have stopped for periods of time.  But it only takes one little, tiny sip for the chain to tighten around my neck again...ever so much stronger than before.

Like it happens with issues that bring us shame and make us uncomfortable, I avoid confronting it.  I feel guilty about it, so I see condemnation everywhere.  I actually experience a great deal of resentment when I'm forced to face the issue.  For example, I hate it when people point out to me the awful habit that it is for me to drink "that stuff."  I hate reading well-intentioned, health articles and books that talk about it.  I hate it when I perceived dirty looks as I enjoy my liquid poison.  I've never really written about this addiction to cola products for the same reason...denial.  But it's time.  I'm hoping that today is my first step toward allowing Christ to finally free me from this addiction and win the battle for good.

What prompted me to open up about this was, once again, the book You're Going to Be Okay, by Holley Gerth.  She talks about the need to connect the spiritual part of our being with the physical part.  We pray that God heals us, but often there is a disconnect as to how we see ourselves.  Sometimes, two things may happen:  on one hand, we could be overly spiritual and neglect our bodies...on the other, we could be just all about our bodies and neglect the spiritual.  The answer, as it usually seems to happen, is found in balance.  God is sovereign over both areas.  He created them and He watches over all of us, not just one aspect...and so should we.

Author Holley Gerth speaks about this disconnect.  She says how we tend to separate our spiritual and physical lives, but that in reality, we need to close that gap.  She recommends that we start doing this by asking God to be involved in taking care of our bodies just like He is in other parts of our lives.

That was the moment when my mind went straight to my bad habit of drinking cola products.  I need to close the gap!  I need to tap into the source of power that could break this habit and enlist God's help right away!  

Why haven't I done this before?  Well, because, deep inside of me, I don't want to quit!  I like my Pepsi and my Coca Cola too much!  I don't want to give it up!  And I know that once I take the step to get God involved, He will act and it will be bye, bye to my refreshing daily treats...

The thing is that, like with any addiction, it is an area that controls me...in other words, it is an area of my life that I have not surrendered to God because I want to be lord over it...

I have resisted giving this bad habit to My Heavenly Father, because I don't want Him to be in control over it.  I want to keep doing this...I like it to much...

Sigh...

Can you relate at any level to any of these?

Well, I will continue talking about this on the next post.  I have to go and do some soul searching now.  I hope to see you soon.

I'm Sorry

Me:                         "I'm sorry..."
People around me: "What for?"
Me:                         "I don't know? For whatever happens, I guess... it's all my fault anyway, so I'm                                       just giving a preemptive apology..."

This is is an expression of how I feel like pretty much all the time...for I know I will do something that I will regret because in my wrong-doing, I will inevitably hurt someone on the way.

Sigh...

Guilt has been a constant visitor in my life, and it's time that I kick it out of my house for its stay is long-over-extended!

Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God. John 3: 18

Because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 
Romans 10: 9

For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. Romans 8: 3-4

I believe and I confess that Jesus IS the Christ who died for me as the One and Only truly acceptable sin offering, once and for all.  And as He takes up His Throne as the King and Lord of my life, guilt has no room in me as sin has no power over my soul.  I am a sinner, yes, but I am forgiven by the Blood of the Lamb.

The guilt I feel is false-guilt, like author Holley Gerth points out in her book, You're Going to Be Okay.  This false-guilt we carry is for things that God never even asked of us in the first place.  It is a deception of the enemy who tries to put us back under the law...the law that Christ redeemed us from long ago!  The enemy knows that if he can succeed in placing the heavy yoke of the law back on our shoulders, we would walk away from the Lord because the guilt would be unbearable and it would make us feel terribly inadequate and unworthy of being in His presence.  And that's a lie!  Every time we find ourselves walking away from the presence of God we can bet all we've got that we are just falling for another of the enemy's schemes.  

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free! Galatians 5: 1 Remember?  And that freedom includes freedom from guilt.

Now, let's be clear, right?  I's not like okay, no guilt, let's do whatever.  That's not what a guilt-free life implies.  A guilt-free existence means that we don't have to be burdened by the guilt of unforgiven sin.  If we do, we deny the power of Christ's sacrifice.  If we continue to feel guilty for our sins, we doubt Christ's ability to forgive them when He died for us.

Like Holley Gerth says in her book, we don't have to bear guilt, what we do need is conviction. (102)  We have to obey the Lord's Commandment to 

“ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’" (Matthew 22: 37-38)

That is our marching order.  And if we live lives trying to fulfill this commandment, there is no guilt necessary.  Of course we will fail upon occasions, more often than not if you are like me...but we are covered by God's Grace and God's Love... and there is no fear in it! (1 John 4: 18)  So when the Spirit points out our wrongs, it is not so we quiet and go hide our light under a bushel.  On the contrary, it is to keep us humble and to make us speak out to all around about the wonders of God's love, who chooses to call His own, even someone as wretched as me.

Me:             "I'm sorry.  I'm a sinner and I will disappoint you and probably hurt you.  But, by God's grace I'm under the New Covenant that was sealed by the Blood of the Lamb.  So I am here to testify that even a sinner like me could be redeemed, and so can you."

We've Got to Laugh a Little

I'm a fool for melancholy.  I'm drawn to all things bittersweet.  I cry watching cartoons, for the love of Pete! Remember the movie Beaches with Bette Midler?  Wow, was that a tear jerker if I ever saw one...

Anyway...one of my favorite parts in the movie is when Bette Midler sings the song "The Glory of Love."  This song, in a way, reminds me of Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8... "There is a time for everything..."

Sigh...

The song says:

You've got to give a little, take a little

And let your poor heart break a little

That's the story of, that's the glory of love

You've got to laugh a little, cry a little

Before the clouds roll by a little

That's the story of, that's the glory of love

There IS, indeed, a time for everything under the sun.  That's the balance under which God's perfect design functions.  But I think, in my case, I forget the balance.  I let my life become lopsided...off kilter due to the heaviness of my worries and the perceived seriousness of the situations that surround me.  In other words, I cry A LOT and laugh, just a little.  

"You take yourself WAY too seriously," Dan always tells me.  Really, he has been telling me that since shortly after we met, over 26 years ago.  The funny thing is, he is right... yikes... don't tell him I said that :) 

I have a hard time laughing at myself and at my circumstances.  Everything is a crisis.  The smallest breeze becomes a hurricane.  Every little thing seems so life-altering from where I sit.

I'm exhausted...

Today, author Holley Gerth reminded me of all these.  In chapter 5 of her book You're Going to Be Okay, it says:  "signature insecurities tell us to take ourselves and our lives way too seriously.  Sometimes poking a bit of fun at them can be like popping a balloon." (100)

My signature insecurity, or at least one of them, is that I feel unlovable.  Why would anybody ever love me?  I'm the worst person in the world...I don't deserve to be loved...blah, blah, blah...right?  When my insecurity button gets pressed, all I do is confirm my own beliefs about myself.  I become the unlovable creature that I have fabricated in my mind.  Then, I want to run away.  It's life-shattering.  I don't want to be unlovable!  This is serious stuff!  I mean, how could I ever poke a bit of fun at this issue to deflate it like Tom Brady's footballs?  OOPS...sorry Patriots' fans all around! :)  

I don't know.  It's a matter of personality, I think.  Some are better than others in the art of self-deprecating humor.  If we could master it, though...the world could be ours!  Really, think about it! If you could beat everyone else to the punch line of your own life, nobody would ever be able to stay mad at you for too long.  

Comedic timing is not my forte, though...but, like most things, it might be possible to get better at it with practice.  It might be worth the try to regain the much needed balance in my day-to-day walk in this valley of tears.  

My insecurity is only in my head.  It's a tool of the enemy to try to separate me from My Heavenly Father.  I can't let the enemy win.  I am dearly loved.  So, as a strategy to dealing with my insecurity triggers, I'm going to try to turn it from serious to silly.  I have to get in touch with my inner fool so the melancholy fades as the silliness emerges.  When Dylan tells me that I'm mean, I would tell him: "Yes, I'm mean! and I'm going to tear you to pieces and eat you up, 'cause I love you so much!"

Then, he'll run away from me and call the Police or Child-Services...

There is a time to cry, but also a time to laugh...I pray I can get to laugh more than just a little, so my crying time gets back to the level I can manage in order to see my life be more balanced.

"Signature Insecurities"

"Daddy told me to come upstairs to get ready for bed, and I did what I was told!!!" Dylan announced to me with arms raised in victory and a great sense of accomplishment last night as I sat on the floor watching a silly movie to unwind. 

"That is wonderful, Dylan!  See, you can do it!"  I said, half jokingly, half remembering he desperately needs to hear positive reinforcement coming from...me...

I am a horrible mother...I yell too much.  I'm too pushy.  I'm too harsh.  I snap too quick.  I can't control my tongue.  The list goes on and on and on... Dylan and I are constantly embattled.  We are too much alike, so the battle of the wills is endless between the two of us.  I demand obedience and he wants to show me I'm not boss.  It is a constant tug of war in that respect.  He complaints that I'm mean.  I complaint he doesn't listen.  I have told him like about a trillion times during his short life, that he should give obedience a try, because he will see how his life becomes so much better and easier.  He keeps refusing, choosing to label me unloving, instead.

Needless to say, I'm very insecure about my abilities to be a good and loving mother. 

When Dylan says that I'm mean...I take another step in my downward spiral staircase to the pit where horrible mothers dwell. 

Sigh...

I think, I'm dealing with what author Holley Gerth calls a "signature insecurity," in chapter 5 of her book You're Going to Be Okay.  She says that our insecurities sabotage our social interactions.  That, of course, makes total sense.  She goes deeply into discerning how our insecurities, particularly our "signature" insecurities are the ones that cause the most damage, because they are always related to the ways God uses us the most.

Let's think about that in light of my situation.

First, when I think about the last time I felt insecure because of my inadequacy as a mother, it had to do with me yelling at Dylan.

Second, when I think about my fear of what would happen after I yell, I fear he would grow up deeply scarred and feeling unloved...

Third, when I think about why that would matter to me if that does happen, I fear he is not going to love me because he thinks I am unlovable...

Sigh...

Now, remembering what the author says: "those insecurities are always tied to our gifts and God's calling on our lives," (96) how does that tied in for me?

What gift am I looking at in here?  All I see is selfishness.  I feel insecure in my ability to be a good mother because I am full of pride and I want everyone to see how awesome I am, and Dylan is blowing my cover.  All I see is someone seeking to be loved, but being unloving; therefore, becoming unlovable due to her self-seeking tendencies.

Could it be possible that in my case, my signature insecurity is tightly related not to my gift, but to my sin?

Double sigh...

What do insecurities tend to do in us?  They paralyze us with fear.  We don't want to do the thing, whatever it is, because we are afraid it may push the button that leads us deeper into the pit of our insecurity.  If the author is right, an our core insecurities are always tied to our gifts...it makes total sense.  The devil uses our insecurities to keep us from doing the thing we were made to do!

The enemy is seeking to devour us and he does that by trying to separate us from God.  If he could keep us away from our purpose and our destiny, he thinks he wins, because he thinks he is keeping us away from Our God too.

The good news is that nothing can separate us from the love of God!

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,

neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.  Romans 8: 38-39

The enemy is defeated and no matter what he does, he cannot change the fact that God's love for us is eternal and unbreakable!

The enemy is the father of lies and he deceives us into even thinking that our gift is our sin...

After doing this little exercise in the book, I realize that my insecurity is not tied to my sin of pride or selfishness...yes, I have those sins...it is actually tied to my desire to love and be loved, which is the freedom that we find in Christ!  I surprised myself when I realized I actually love people...and I want to express that by being loving...it's just that I am so insecure about my ability to love, that I just run the other way all the time.  I think I will harm instead of benefit, and then I will cause them to perceive me as unlovable...therefore, I act unlovingly...

Does that make any sense?

Of course it doesn't.  That's why insecurities are so hard to break free from.

The first step to break free is to realize the gift behind it.  I have the Holy Spirit in me.  He is the miracle.  He is the Gift!  He makes me a person that is capable of feeling great empathy.  I feel the pain of others as if it were mine.  That is an expression of the love of the Holy Spirit in me.  But my flesh and sinful nature make me selfish.  There is so much pain in the world, I don't want to feel it.  It's too much to bear.  So I cover myself in this blanket of lovelessness so I am not perceived as someone who feels the pain.  The enemy tucks me in, nice and tight under this cover.  And there I stay...removed from the pain...wasting my gift...

I'm totally sabotaging myself.  But, by becoming aware, I pray that the Holy Spirit will guide me and help me recognize what's happening.  By making Jesus King in my heart and soul, I should be able to claim His victory and His redemption.

It is for freedom that Christ has set me free! (Galatians 5: 1) I need to claim this freedom.  It's been unused for far too long.

Confessions of a Homebody

Earlier this morning I was "chatting" with my sister and the topic of how little adventure there is in our spirit came up.  Our parents were not campers or outdoor people at all.  They enjoyed being at home...and that's how they raised us.  Adventure was not part of our vocabulary. Therefore, now that we are grown up, we regret our roles as spectators...as homebodies...

My sister was commenting how her one childhood friend is really taking advantage of all the wonderful things going on in Panama now!  Hiking, surfing, climbing, swimming...you name it!  My sister wishes she could join her, but something inside of her keeps her from taking the step...that one necessary step to venture out.

I commented on how I don't want to be enslaved by my self-created ties.  The thing is that I long for adventure, but something inside of me sabotages my dreams.  I usually come up with excuses: work, kids, money, health, lack of physical shape...whatever...so when the time comes, I can say, "sorry, I can't." 

I said to her that we need to turn it around and look at it from a spiritual perspective.  We need to see opportunities to be outside in nature as opportunities to witness the miracle of creation, so we can experience Him and give Him the glory!

I don't want to miss out on being immersed into God's revelation to all mankind: the work of His hand! 

My sister said something that really hit me:  "we need to marvel and delight at God's creation rather than being obsessed with man's creation."

That's it!

I am obsessed with man's creations.  I spend hours looking at real estate websites.  I experience a sense of thrill when I go shopping.  I can't wait to go to the movies or watch my favorite ones at home.  I find enormous enjoyment when I think about decorating the house or daydreaming about potential remodelling.  I go to pinterest when I need to unwind.  All my spare time is spent amongst man's creation...

Wow... yeah... how's that for a revelation?

I need to seek Him first and above all else...

...instead, I seem to be seeking the things of this world...

I don't want to do that anymore.  I'm opening the door to the Holy Spirit so He can guide my path and direct my desires.  I want to enjoy His creation more, and ask of it what they know of the glory of Our Great God!

“But ask the animals, and they will teach you, or the birds in the sky, 

and they will tell you;

or speak to the earth, and it will teach you,

or let the fish in the sea inform you.

Which of all these does not know

that the hand of the Lord has done this?

In his hand is the life of every creature

and the breath of all mankind. Job 12: 710

I pray, in this new year, to be able to find joy in the work of His Hands...not so much on the work of men...

The heavens declare the glory of God;

the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Psalm 19: 1

Literally

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”  Matthew 11: 28-30

This Scripture has come back to me today.  The Word made flesh in Our Lord Jesus the Christ tells us this...why do I still feel burdened and weary?

Sigh...

I read a few passages in my morning devotionals that helped me to begin to sort out my issue.  However, the Holy Spirit moved my eyes back to the Words of Jesus as if telling me, the answer is in Him...look no further...

So I read Matthew 11: 28-30 again and saw a line, a few verses above, that said that this truth has been hidden from the wise and learned, and revealed to little children (Matthew 11: 25).  

Hmmm...

Isn't that how it always seems to work out with Our Great God?  He chooses the lowly, the simple, the plain, the insignifiant, the least of these, those who are like children, to do His work on this earth...to further His plan.  

What are children like?  A pain, a headache, the source of most of our worry... I mean... God's gifts... but really, when it comes to understanding, I believe Jesus is telling us that for us to truly get what He is saying, sometimes we need to be more like children.  For instance, Dylan, our 12-year-old is just now getting the concept of sarcasm.  Children typically do not have the capacity to understand when someone is not meaning what they say.  They are very "literal."  They take it all exactly as it is said, because they don't know there is any other way to understand things.  They don't know that sometimes people say things that they don't mean...or that there is hidden meaning between lines.

I believe that's exactly what Jesus is telling us here:  I mean this LITERALLY!!!!

Although He is using the metaphor of the "yoke" here, He means it.  He knows we do walk with a yoke around our shoulders.  He knows we carry heavy burdens and that we are just plain tired.  He knows what it is to have a human body.  He knows what it is to be poor.  He knows how much our sins weight because He carried them all on the Cross.

Yes, we are called to mature, and move up from the milk to the solid food of discernment (Hebrews 5: 13-14), but in our maturity and as we grow in our sensibility to distinguish good from evil, Jesus repeatedly calls us to come to Him as little children:  

Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."  Matthew 9: 14

We are not supposed to lose that child-like ability to see things for what they are, exactly...literally.  Therefore, if He says, "come to me and I will give you rest because my yoke is not like the yoke of this world.  My yoke is light, and as you take it upon yourself as I do, in humility and gentleness, you will see that you will find rest for your soul," He means it!  And He wants us to get it, because He is not double talking or being sarcastic.  He is The Truth! So, trust! 

Some say that American's second language is sarcasm.  Well, that is hindering us from discerning what Jesus is trying to say to us.  We don't need to sort through and read between the lines with Jesus.  He is clear.  We just have to trust that there is such a person whom we can totally trust and take at His word...like we did before we became jaded by the world.

Holy Spirit, allow us to overcome our unbelief and trust the One Who is The Way, The Truth and The Life!

Freedom Isn't Easy

Yesterday at Church, our Pastor preached on one of my favorite statements, Galatians 5: 1a,

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.

He presented an interesting approach.  He divided the sermon in two parts, the first one being an intriguing take on what freedom is not.  And one of the things he said, freedom is not, is "easy."

Freedom isn't easy...

I have to admit that the statement has stayed with me because I don't think I ever truly thought about this idea before.  Freedom is one of those abstract concepts that I've always been enamored with.  It is one of the pillars of this great nation of ours, and it is precisely that pillar which has attracted me to the United States like a powerful magnet.  I don't believe I'm alone in this sentiment.  As a matter of fact, how could anyone not be in love with the idea of freedom?  It would be absurd to think that people purposely seek to be enslaved. The mere thought of it is ridiculous.  Or is it?

When choosing paths, even if we would not want to admit it aloud, most people tend to choose the easy way.  Maybe it's just me.  I know, I'm lazy that way...

Therefore...

...saying that "freedom isn't easy" implies that given the choice, most people... I ... would choose the path of slavery.

I do not like saying this aloud one bit.

Sigh...

I'm afraid it's true, though.  "There is a battle raging inside of each and every one of us.  It is a battle between our sinful nature and the Holy Spirit within us," our Pastor said.  And He knows it's true in his life, we know it's true in our lives, and God knows it's true too.  We hear the echo of our own inner nature reflected in the inspired words of Paul:

Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22 For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; 23 but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. 24 What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? 25 Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord! (Romans 7: 21-25)

Left on our own, we choose the yoke of slavery every time.  Without the Holy Spirit we do not have the means to make godly choices.  Without the Holy Spirit fighting for us, fighting for our souls, we are lost in the fog of sin.  Therefore, when facing the fork in the road, we, instinctively, walk toward the one that seems smoother.  We take the one with the less resistance.  We veer off course following our desire for pleasure, comfort, carelessness, ease, company, or whatever it is that we feel we desperately lack and desperately want.  

We take the road that our shattered emotions point us to, clouded by the current pain or desire not knowing that it is that very road the one that will take us away from the one thing we truly seek: His Presence.

Choosing freedom is not easy because it requires that we abandon the things that bring us that temporary and fleeting comfort and relief we so much long for.  But how often don't we realize, that after a few steps into the road of ease, our elation begins to deflate?  The satisfaction we thought we'd get with our quick fix becomes ever more elusive and out of reach...so we get deeper and deeper into the darkness of our wrong choices, only to find ourselves lost and without a way out.

Freedom is not easy.  It is much easier to give into our selfish and self-servient nature...our sin, whatever it is...  Who will deliver me from myself?  Who will deliver me from my sin?  On our own, we just can't.  We need a Savior.  And praised the Lord for we do have Him, and His Name is Jesus!  Without Him, I don't have the ability to defeat my flesh.  The freedom in Christ is the freedom that breaks the chain of sin, and allows the Holy Spirit to dwell in me.  

The reason there is a battle raging inside of us...the reason we feel the tension at the fork in the road...the reason there IS a fork in the road, is because we have the Holy Spirit fighting our battles for us inside our souls.  Without the Holy Spirit, there would be no battle, for we would not even think about it, and automatically would choose sin...

What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord! 

(Romans 7: 24-25)

Here in America we say: Freedom isn't Free!  I totally agree with this statement.  Freedom is paid by the blood of the Lamb.  Freedom isn't easy either.  It requires the Presence of the Holy Spirit and our surrendering to His will and His path for our lives.

A Day Like Today

A day like today, January 13th, 2014 I took a pill. 

Why would I remember such a thing?

Well, up until then, I had never really been able to swallow a whole pill in my life!  I've always crushed them, chewed them, dissolve them or whatever in order to get them in me.  This pill I took in 2014 I could only swallow whole.  And after a couple of months preparing for it, I was able to take it. 

I praised God that day as if I had walked on water...because, in some respects, that was a walk-on-water type of moment for me. 

That pill would trace the remnants of cancer cells that were still in my body so the next dose, a couple of days later would kill them all. 

Those were not joyful days in my life.  Those were some of the scariests seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years I've ever experienced.  To this day, the fear is very much alive and I struggle every time I have to have a check up.  I worry and fret over the future.  I worry and fret about the present.  I worry and fret about the past.

But today, looking back on that January 13th I see the hope of Christ emerging triumphantly amongst all the rubble and debris produced by my fear.  This morning I read the very same short devotional reading I read on that morning of 2014...a reading that cleared the fog of my clouded mind and allowed the rays of the sun to shine through the persistent mist.  The words say:

"Merciful and faithful Lord, because of Your great love I am not consumed, for Your compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is Your Faithfulness.  I say to myself, 'The Lord is my portion; therefore, I will wait for Him.'  Lord, You are good to those whose hope is in You, to the one who seeks You. (Lam. 3:22-25)  Surely, You, Jesus, took up my infirmities and carried my sorrows, yet we considered You stricken by God, smitten by Him and afflicted.  But You were pierced for my transgressions; You were crushed for my iniquities; the punishment that brought me peace was upon You, and by Your wounds, Lord Jesus I am healed." (Praying God's Word Day by Day, Beth Moore)

The Lord spoke to me in 2014 and He speaks to me today through His Word, which is, indeed, made new every day!  Surely, the safest place to be is by His side. (Jesus Calling, Sarah Young).

Praised be His Holy Name!

Invitations NOT Expectations??

Both of my sons are rather shy and socially awkward.  Shocker!!! I know... Gosh...I remember being a teenager.  That was one really awful time in my life.  I saw all my friends being happy, enjoying the carefree lifestyle of adolescence, having boyfriends, going to parties, laughing and giggling...and there was me:  a loaf of stale bread...

I was the poster child of awkwardness.  I was tall and skinny...and when I say skinny, I mean...well...you know...flat!  I was a late bloomer and I didn't know what to do with my body.  I didn't know how to handle myself in a social situation.  I didn't know how to talk to boys.  I didn't know how to walk by myself...I felt like I had too many arms and legs.  On top of all that, I had a very, super strict Dad that didn't allow me to go to parties or gatherings...etc. etc. etc. 

Emotionally, I felt as if I was in a never-ending rollercoaster.  Basically, I spent my teen-years permanently nauseated and alone.

I don't know why I'm surprised my boys take after me.  Dylan not so much...but Grant...poor thing.  He is so much like me, in that sense.  He is a lot like my Father, actually.  Thankfully, not the temper, since that has been mellowed by Dan's genes...but many physical and some emotional traits that Grant displays come straight from his paternal Grandfather. 

At any rate, my point is that neither of my boys like to invite kids to our house.  I don't know why, but they just don't.  Dan and I have been going crazy about this topic for years.  Today, I think I had an epiphany. 

Reading chapter 5 of the book You're Going to Be Okay, by Holley Gerth this morning, I saw something that made me go "hmmmm..."

"In place of expectations, Jesus gives us invitations.  He tells us, 'Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.' (Matthew 11:28) And what burdens us more than expectations?"

The thing is, at least from where I sit, invitations DO imply expectations... don't they?

I don't know about you, but when I get invited to something, there always seem to be an unwritten expectation implied there somewhere.  You know what I mean?  An invitation to a Baby Shower, a Wedding, a Birthday party, all imply a gift (no matter how many times the hostess/host say to me, "NO gifts, please!" I feel funny showing up empty-handed). 

Invitations also carry out an expectation regarding behavior.  There are codes of conduct passed down from Mothers to Daughters to Granddaughters about how one is to behave when invited somewhere: don't be loud and obnoxious! Clean up after yourself! Don't be messy! Be respectful! Say please and thank you! Don't ask for ANYTHING! Eat what you are given and don't ask for something different!  DON'T EMBARRASS ME!!!!!!

There are emotional expectations as well.  I remember that for the longest time I did not want to attend any Baby Showers.  Dealing with infertility marks a woman for life.  And no matter how much I rejoiced in the bliss of others...there was something inside that broke every time I heard that someone else got pregnant without a hitch, someone else, who wasn't me...maybe this is just me who feels this way...I apologize for generalizing...but that was my reality (there is a faint part of me that still breaks even today...)

ANYWAY!  What's my point here?

Invitations do carry expectations.  Therefore, they are stressful!!!

There, I said it.

That's why my kids don't want to invite their friends to our home.  Because, first, they are my children, so they always expect the worst.  Hence, they are expecting to be rejected.  Second, what if miraculously, their friends want to come to our house, what then?  The expectations of providing for a fun and delightful time are too much to bear.  They don't think they could possibly be fun enough to keep their friends entertained enough to not go telling others how lame an afternoon at the Dieters' was!  They feel inadequate to provide what is expected of them while entertaining friends.

An invitation from Jesus...WOO...I don't even know what to do with that?  How am I supposed to behave?  What gifts am I supposed to bring?  Talk about an emotional rollercoaster!!!!

I am not enough to give what I'm expected to give in order to accept Jesus' invitation to come to Him...

Sigh...

Like our Pastor says:  "The Good News Is..."

Those expectations are ours, not His.  The expectations about the behavior, the gifts, the emotional stability that we are placing on Christ's invitation are self-fabricated.  We place the burden of such expectations upon our weary shoulders ourselves.  He simply says, "come to me." 

This invitation does not carry any expectations other than it being open to "all who are weary and burdened." 

That's the only requirement.  Are you weary? Check.  Are you burdened? Check, check. Then, GO already!

The work is His.  The expectations are ALL ON HIM!  He is the One who has taken it upon Himself to cleanse us and make us new:

“Though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them as white as snow. Though they are red like crimson, I will make them as white as wool." Isaiah 1: 18

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! 2 Corinthians 5: 17

All we need to do is go to Him with the gift of our burdens, our weariness, our brokenness.  Jesus will not despise me, or my sacrifice:

My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise. Psalm 51: 17

He will not despise me, no matter how awkward I am.  He will not go around gossiping about how lame, boring, stale, ugly, poor, rich, beautiful, shy, outgoing, exciting, hard working, good servant, lazy I am.  He will not reject me, no matter how lost I am...because the invitation is to come to Him, just as I am.

For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.  Luke 19: 10

We expect too much.  We burden ourselves with expectations.  Let's just learn from Jesus and be humble about what we expect of ourselves and of others.  Let's exhale and give praises to the One Who Makes Us Free!

Thank you and praise You, Lord Jesus for your open arms.  Help me to accept Your invitation and come running to You!

Sabotage

On to my journey reading Holley Gerth's book You're Going to be Okay, I'm now in chapter 5 and right from the title, it grabbed me:  "You Can Keep from Sabotaging Yourself."

O my...

The chapter so far deals with the fact that many of us, consciously and more often, unconsciously, sabotage ourselves in many ways.  One of the first ones is emotional sabotage.  This one, has to do with expectations...

Oy vey...

I know all about this one.  I want to meet everyone's expectations and when that doesn't happen, which is more often than not, I fall into a pool of self-rejection.  The biggest problem personally, however, arises when I try to meet my OWN expectations for myself...which NEVER happens, meaning, I'm a permanent resident of the bottom of the pit.

Sigh...

I want to change my ways.  I long to be a better EVERYTHING...and when I fail... well... you know...

This is what I was alluding back when I was talking about being at peace with who I am... God designed me this way.  I know, I'm not using this as a cop out, though it sure sounds like one.  I'm using it as a self-affirmation. 

Either from the expanded version found in the Amplified Bible,

For we are His workmanship [His own master work, a work of art], created in Christ Jesus [reborn from above—spiritually transformed, renewed, ready to be used] for good works, which God prepared [for us] beforehand [taking paths which He set], so that we would walk in them [living the good life which He prearranged and made ready for us].

Or in the simple terms of the New Living Translation:  

For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.

Ephesians 2: 10 is clear... we are the product of the work of His Hands.  That is enough to makes us worthy of our own acceptance.

He planned, He designed, He modeled us as bearers of His image...the crown of His Creation, to be in this life to do the work he prepared for us, be it as the president of a country or as a person suffering a debilitating disease, constraint to a bed, unable to move.  We all have a purpose in His Divine Providence.  The problem is that often, the ideas we have in our minds regarding the purpose for our life does not match the original plan.  

The key is to trust the Plan Maker... for He is Perfect and so is His plan.  Let us remember to walk with Him, to keep our eyes on His Face and to have peace with the fact that:  

In their hearts humans plan their course,
but the Lord establishes their steps.  Proverbs 16: 9

Lord, help us to seek You above all else, and to forget about the lie that we must meet everyone else's expectations, especially our own...so we can stop sabotaging our lives.

A Closer Walk with Thee

This morning I read the last paragraphs of chapter 4 in the book You're Going to Be Okay by Holley Gerth, and I have to admit that, for a moment, I got a bit discouraged.  She said that we would know our hearts are becoming guarded by seeing that:

Our emotions will become more stable.
Our relationships will be stronger.
Our connection with Jesus will grow to deeper intimacy.
Our ability to say yes as well as no will increase.
Our lives will begin to be filled with more peace and less stress.
Our focus will be on what's best and we'll be distracted less from God's purpose for us.
Our joy will continue to expand. (p. 87)

I tell you...when I got done reading this list, I felt the way I felt when I did the ice-bucket challenge...remember that craze a couple of years ago?  BRRRRR....

However, the fact I felt that way after reading this passage only proves the fault in my attitude.  I always jump to conclusions and assume the worst.  I didn't even notice what the author said right before she listed these signs of a guarded heart:  "learning to guard our hearts is a lifelong process..."  I mean, really?  How did I miss that?

But, anticipating that most readers probably would miss it, the author repeated it and clearly stated afterwards that, even though we all want all these things right now, the process is ongoing.  We aim for this goals, but the reality is that "we ain't in heaven yet."  Therefore, what we look for is: "a little more light each day, each week, each year."

Sigh...

The way I see it, we need to ask ourselves a couple of questions: am I on the road with Christ?  Am I walking ever closer to Jesus? 

This life is the road, not the destination.  We are wanderers around the mountains and the valleys of this world.  We are not home.  We are looking for progress, for spiritual growth, for sprouts of faith, for budding maturity...I don't believe we will see the full garden while still on this Earth. I don't think we'll get to drink the wine produced by our grapes until Jesus pours it out Himself into our cups at the Wedding Supper of the Lamb.  We do have a job right here, right now, however...our job is to stick to the vine:

"I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing." (John 15: 5)

All throughout my thinking process regarding this topic, I couldn't help but to think of the old hymn, "Just a Closer Walk with Thee."  I think that's the key...let us pray that the Lord guides us so each passing moment we can take just a closer walk with Him...that, Lord Jesus, is my plea...

I am weak, but Thou art strong;
Jesus, keep me from all wrong;
I’ll be satisfied as long
As I walk, let me walk close to Thee.

Refrain:
Just a closer walk with Thee,
Grant it, Jesus, is my plea,
Daily walking close to Thee,
Let it be, dear Lord, let it be.

Through this world of toil and snares,
If I falter, Lord, who cares?
Who with me my burden shares?
None but Thee, dear Lord, none but Thee.

When my feeble life is o’er,
Time for me will be no more;
Guide me gently, safely o’er
To Thy kingdom shore, to Thy shore. (Anonymous)

Rushing Ahead

The new year is well on its way...and here I am.

In these first days of 2018 I have had my ups and downs as far as allowing the peace of Christ to flow through me; but I'm finding out that once the level of stress rises, if I can manage to pause and remember the things I've learned from the book You're Going to be Okay by Holley Gerth, things get better.

I need all the help I can get in order for me to find the center and balance of my life.  So, I think it's time I get back to my reading of this book.

I remember I left it Chapter 4:  Your Heart is Worth Guarding.  So I will pick it up right there, because I'm at the end of this chapter, where it talks about how our hearts are guarded when we have Jesus on His Throne.  And boy, do I need to remember that...

Take today, for example, I really, really try not to do this, but last night I left my phone sitting on my night table.  I don't like doing this because guess what happens in the morning?  Yes, you got it!  The first thing I do as soon as I open my eyes is.... drum roll .... I reach for my phone.  I purposely have the charger downstairs so if I want to charge it overnight, I have to leave it out of my reach.  But last night, I kept it with me in my room...and of course...you know...

The thing is that as I checked my e-mail, a message about a new blog post called my attention, so I clicked on it and read it.  The post was fabulous!  It was about being consistent and about the amazing spiritual discipline of beginning your day in Christ.  I loved it!  I agreed with everything the blogger said, which was simply: rather than beginning the day by checking social media, check in with the Lord.

So, I got out of bed full of resolve, and...instead, I got distracted, and next thing I know, I'm checking social media instead of reading my morning devotional...

Sigh...

It was about an hour later until I realized what I had done.  And here I am...

The thing is that out of ALL the relationships in my life, the most important one, the only one I should never neglect is my relationship with Christ.  But, as it happens, that is the one I push aside the most.  Instead of keeping Jesus on His Throne in my heart, I push Him off and place something on it that usurps His Holy place.  In times of stress, for example, when hectic schedules keep me running around like a mad chicken, I totally forget who is King, and crown all the insignificant tasks in front of me, king instead.  When things are not going according to plan, I crown my desires king.  When I'm afraid, fear and anxiety fight over the throne. 

Sigh...

Instead of seeking His Kingdom first and fixing my eyes on Him, I seek gratification and keep my eyes on the goal of comfort.

I forget that if Jesus is sitting on the Throne of my heart, He will tend to everything I need and want! Yes, in His timing, but His timing happens to be perfect, and that is something I often forget.

I finally grabbed my devotional, and along with Holley Gerth's book, it also reminded me of this:

"Much, much stress results from your wanting to make things happen before their times have come.  One of the main ways I assert My sovereignty is in the timing of events.  If you want to stay close to Me and do things My way, ask Me to show you the path forward moment by moment.  Instead of dashing headlong toward your goal, let Me set the pace.  Slow down, and enjoy the journey in My Presence." (Jesus Calling by Sarah Young)

Lord, please make me remember the truth: that You love me, that You take care of me, that Your timing is perfect and that You seat on the Throne always.  In Christ's precious name...

Follow Him!

I don't have any pictures of our silver tree, color wheel or Nativity,
but these are exactly it as far as the tree and the wheel.  Same
boxes even!  The Nativity, will live only in my memory now.

After Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Judea, during the time of King Herod, Magi from the east came to Jerusalem 2 and asked, “Where is the one who has been born king of the Jews? We saw his star when it rose and have come to worship him.” Matthew 2: 1-2

I remember growing up in Panama, one of my greatest joys was the Christmas season.  My parents didn't decorate much.  Actually, as soon

as I was old enough to walk, I was the one decorating.  There were only two main decorations:  the silver tree with two spotlights that had a four-color-wheel that slowly turn once plugged in to give the tree alternating red/yellow/green/blue colors, and a great Nativity set.  I loved them both, but my favorite was the Nativity.  It was a whole village!  

I loved setting it up:  first the base.  I would gather boxes and organize them on the ground at the corner of our living room.  For that I had to move some of the furniture to make room.  Then, I would cover the boxes with manila paper painted green and brown to resemble the ground.  I would have fun creating caves and creeks all around.  Once the base was set, the fun began.  I would start designing the village of Bethlehem.  

I always started with the stable and the Holy Family...minus Baby Jesus, of course, that piece never got to the scene until Christmas morning, when my Mom would gently placed it on His special spot.  Then, the villagers, the houses, the chickens, ducks, shepherds, sheep and angels would populate the town.  Finally, the magi made their entrance.  I always placed them as far away from the stable as possible, so, during the Christmas season, they could do their pretend journey toward the Newborn King!  The Magi would always face the big silver star that stood, or rather leaned behind the stable.  Once completed, I would look at it and wait for my Mom to come and give it the final touches.

Those were the glory days of my childhood.

As long as the Christmas decorations were up it meant the season of wonder and joy was still on.  

January 6th, however, was always a sad day for me...

That is the day of the Epiphany, when tradition says the Magi arrived in Bethlehem to present their gifts to the Newly born Messiah.  

That is the day all Christmas decorations went down at our house.  That's the day the Magi finally were placed right in front of the stable in adoration...under the star that guided them...

Sigh...

It's funny how some things stick to our minds in such a vivid way...and then, others just slip away...

I remember everything about those, long-gone days...the sights, the smells, the feelings, the melancholy... and so often I forget what truly gave meaning to all the celebration:  The birth of Our Savior!

Keeping in mind the reason for the traditions will help me shake off the melancholic feeling about taking down the decorations.  The fact that we celebrate the arrival of the Magi should give me inspiration, should provoke a renewed sense of Epiphany!  Jesus is the Star, the Bright Morning Star that guides us...it is not the end of the season.  It is the beginning!  It is the beginning of a new year of journeying with Jesus as our Guiding Light!  We just need to remember that, as the Magi did, those who pay attention and remain focused can also, still follow!

Peace with Who I am

Eventually I will get back to my comments on the book You Are Going to Be Okay, but for a few more posts, I'd like to continue thinking about the concept of allowing the Peace of Christ to flow in us.

This morning I began to think about the things that rob me of my peace...the list is pretty long, but I think I was able to narrow it down to the following:

The well being of my sons and husband.
My relationship with my extended family.
My ability to be a good friend.
My ability to do my job well.

Myself

Yep, I am the biggest thief of my own peace.

I rob myself of peace at a greater pace than all the other items in the list combined.

The reason?  I am my own harshest judge.

I am acutely aware of all of my flaws, plus the ones I make up.  I really don't need anybody pointing out the things that are wrong with me.  I know them better than anyone else.  I already know my inadequacies and my failures.  They go with me everywhere I go.  I drag a heavy bag of regrets and guilt around...and there isn't much room left anywhere in my heart for joy and peace...

There...it's out now...I've said it...

Some of the most effective recovery/rehab methods state that admitting that there is a problem is the first step toward healing.  I admit that there is a big problem...me...

I am in great need of allowing the peace of Christ to flow through me so I can reach a point in my life where I am at peace with who I am.

I would never be able to get there if I continue to be so harsh on myself.  I need to begin to see myself with the eyes of the One Who Died for Me.  I need to start believing that He does love me enough to sacrifice Himself for me, so I could live!  I need to claim the truth of His presence in me.  I need to have faith on His Word, because He IS the Word.  And the Word says that I am beloved.

It is not about how well I love Him and/or others.  It is about the fact that He loves me...

He finds me lovely enough, in all of my flaws...to pour His immeasurable, perfect, unique love in my broken jar of clay.

This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.  (1 John 4: 10)

There is no way we could love Him, had He not loved us first.  The only reason we could claim that we love Him or anyone else is because He first loved us.  (1 John 4: 19)

There is no fear in love. (1 John 4: 18a)  

Every fear of inadequacy must disappear as we accept and believe the truth that: God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5: 8)

The Peace of Christ will finally begin to flow in me when I begin to accept who I am in Him.  And, who am I?

...You are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. 
(1 Peter 2: 9)

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. (2 Corinthians 5: 17)

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.  (Ephesians 2: 10)

I am beloved.  I am forgiven.  I am the daughter of the Most High.  I am a broken person who has been made whole by the Blood of the Lamb and the word of my testimony.

Praised be the God Who Sees and Heals.  The One Who Makes All Things New!

Hanging On to Peace

It's only January 2nd and I already feel my resolve to allow the peace of Christ to flow through me faltering. 

This is the first day back to school and to some semblance of a routine.  Therefore, I'm back to feeling overwhelmed by all the tasks once again. 

On top of that, I am experiencing the burden of brokenness fall on my shoulders...there are branches of my family tree which have been broken for a long time, and today as I see them scattered on the ground, my heart aches as the pain of fracture becomes acute in my heart one more time.  There's not much I can do about the situation, but I can't shake off the sense of guilt..."shaking it off" is not as easy as Taylor Swift makes it sound...

Sigh...

Today, I need to hang on to the Peace that surpasses all understanding more than ever to avoid falling into the pit of despair...I need to hold that Light of Christmas high to keep from surrendering to the darkness...

Today, I need to find the time to relax in His presence to receive the healing power of the Spirit in my heart and soul.

The enemy plays on my weaknesses, which are many...but today, I must stand firm on my faith and rebuke him so he'd flee!

Today, I renew my desire to let His peace flow through and through in me.

May the Peace of Christ Flow in Us This New Year!

As unbelievable as it may seem, today is the first day of 2018...WOW...just,WOW!  I have no clue where 2017 went, but we have no other choice than to go with the flow of time and pray we don't drown in the current.

It has become my personal tradition to start the new year with a word that would bring guidance and focus to my days in the adventure that is ahead.  My word for 2018 is Peace.

But...how do I achieve that peace?  How do I grasp it? How do I make it stay in my heart? How do I allow it to take over my fears and worries?

I was "chatting" with my sister and niece yesterday about "my word" for 2018, and a very interesting conversation about accepting the flow of life came about.  My sister told us how, in an informal gathering with her bosses at work, the three of them discussed the fact that stress overcomes them because of their lack of acceptance of the natural flow of things as they refuse to place their trust in God, the Great Designer of all that surrounds us.  Then, I got a visually stunning short video from a friend who was wishing me the perfect "flow" for 2018.  Thus the idea of combining the thoughts of Peace and flow emerged...Later, I read the devotional entry for December 31st in my little book, Jesus Calling, by Sarah Young, and it said:

"As this year draws to a close, receive My Peace.  This is still your deepest need, and I, your Prince of Peace, long to pour Myself into your neediness.  My abundance and your emptiness are a perfect match.  I created you as a jar of clay, set apart for sacred use.  I want you to be filled with My very Being, permeated through and through with Peace.  Thank Me for My peaceful Presence, regardless of your feelings.  My Peace, which lives continually in your spirit, will gradually work its way through your entire being."

Answers began to flow:

There is only One way to peace...

Jesus.

He is the One and Only who can make peace flow through our entire beings, through and through, because He is the foretold Prince of Peace of Isaiah 9:6.  He is the One who gives us the peace that surpasses all understanding as Paul told us in Philippians 4: 7.  He is the One who offers it to us as His great gift of mercy:

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.  John 14: 27

He is the One who offers peace to us as His greeting, and He is the Only One who can make it flow like a river because Peace is He.

Therefore, my "word" for 2018 became a prayer:  

May the Peace of Christ Flow!

Happy New Year to all, and to all the Peace that Flows!