The Lasting Power of Words of Love

Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. Proverbs 16:24

For the last few weeks and months…actually, for the last several years I have been feeling very convicted by the command to speak kindly to others, particularly to my loved ones.  My struggle with containing my tongue has been a long and a hard fought battle.  And it continues to this day.  It is an instinctive reaction.  I feel threatened; I lash out with harsh words.  The funny thing is that those I love are the major recipients of my lack of self restraint.  I pray for kindness to come to my words, but I fail time and time again.  The Lord is working this discipline of the Spirit in me very slowly.  One of the things He is using to change me is to make me realize the power of words of love and words of affirmation.  

The Lord has brought back to my mind countless memories of people who have spoken kindly to me throughout the years.  He has shown me that if mean and harsh words have the power to destroy; words spoken in love have the power to build up.  And once you build up someone, the effects are long lasting.  Speaking loving words to someone who feels insecure, threatened or rejected have the power to bring that person out of the pit of darkness.  And once someone comes out of the pit into the light, the chances for that person to deliberately climb back down in there are pretty slim.  

I remember many occasions in which kind and loving words have rescued me from a place of insecurity and vulnerability.  Today, however, I can’t stop thinking about my Father-in-Law.  Dan’s Dad was a very special man with a divine spark that was evident in the kindness of his eyes.  I didn’t get to spend much time with him.  I only knew him for a few short years, but the impact of knowing him will be everlasting.  

I remember it as if it was yesterday.  Dan and I had been married for only a few months and we flew back home to have a wedding celebration with Dan’s side of the family and his friends, since we had gotten married down in Panama and were living there at the time.  My in-laws invited the entire family out to eat one day during our visit, and as we were getting ready to leave the restaurant, my Father-in-Law, out of the blue, gave me a big hug and whispered in my ear, “I love you.”  I didn’t know what to do or say.  I just stood there taking it all in, basking on the heartfelt love that he was transferring to me with his spontaneous action of care.  Those words echoed deeply within my soul because at that time I was in the midst of a season of insecurity and vulnerability that would last for years to come.  He didn’t know that, but he sensed that I needed to hear I was loved, and he didn’t hold back.  He took the step and acted in love, for which I’d be forever grateful.

As life would have it that was the last time I saw my Father-in-Law alive.  Soon we left for Panama and a short few months later I would be flying back to the States to attend his funeral.  That was my first experience with pure, unadulterated grief.  It’s been almost 17 years and I still feel the sting of his loss.  I guess the wounds caused by the loss of a loved one are never completely healed.  It’s only by the mercy of the Almighty that the pain becomes less bitter and the memories a bit sweeter with the passing of time.

The memories of his hug and caring words remain with me as a gift that comes back to me in hours of struggle.  It was a gift from God delivered directly to me by a dear man whom I’ll never forget.  It pains me that my sons never got to meet their Grandpa.  Grant bears his namesake and I have to say, he carries it well.  Once in a while I spot that same spark of divine inspiration in him when, without warning, he unexpectedly hugs me and tells me he loves me.  

I have the privilege to walk among people of great kindness and compassion.  I pray that the Lord will teach me through them the art of actions of love and loving words.  In the meantime, I have to continue to find inspiration in Scripture and in the treasured memories of those who have touched my soul along the road.

Ephesians 4:29
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

James 1:26
If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.

In a Little While

Dylan doesn’t like to see me leave the house.  He’s always been the one to start crying and begging for me to stay every time he sees any movement that signals me leaving for an errand.  “Please, Mama, stay.  Don’t go!”  Dylan’s words are always met with my standard reply, “Don’t worry; I’ll be back in a little while.”  However, he usually counters with, “Can I come with you?”  To which I respond, “No, you can’t.  It won’t take long.  I’ll be back soon.  You’ll be fine.  I’ll be back in a little while.”  Now, as he struggles to comprehend the concept of time, he is adding to his repertoire the question, “but, what is a little while?”  I haven’t really come up with a good answer for that yet.  Often I just say things like, “a little while is kind of like 2 or 3 episodes of…The Wonder Pets or The Backyardigans?!” (or any other TV show that he enjoys watching)  This is not a very satisfactory answer or explanation for what “a little while” might mean, but at least it keeps him occupied on trying to figure out how long does one episode of his favorite show feels like.  This distraction gives me a few seconds to escape out the door unnoticed.

This common occurrence at my house makes me think of John chapter 16.  In it, Jesus is talking to His disciples about the trials that they will soon begin to go through  Our Lord explains to His beloved friends how He needs to go away so the Spirit of Truth would come to them as their personal compass for the life to come.  Jesus then says to them, “In a little while you will see me no more, and then after a little while you will see me.” (John 16:16)  To this, the disciples wonder among themselves, “What does he mean by ‘a little while’? We don’t understand what he is saying.” (John 16:18)  They were nervous about the prospect of not having Jesus with them anymore.  It didn’t matter if it was supposed to be just for a “little while.”  The disciples became anxious just thinking about Jesus not being there with them.  Like us, we crave His presence more than anything.  Life’s hardship is bearable only if we perceive His presence going before us.  No wonder the disciples were worried. 

Jesus then proceeded to reassure His followers by telling them what to expect in the near future and of the limitless joy they would experience after their trials because they have believed that He came from the Father, and how the Father would give them anything they ask in Jesus’ name.  Jesus then wrapped it up by saying to His friends, those whom He had chosen, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)

He has overcome the world and He is our peace.  That sense of stability and serenity doesn’t derive from our circumstances.  Peace is the person of Jesus Christ; and by giving us His Holy Spirit, He gives us His peace.  He had to leave so we would be able to have Him within us always.  It is one of the many Biblical paradoxes that twist the brain in nuts of mystery which will only be deciphered when we meet Him face to face some day.  In the meantime, we rest assured in His faithfulness and in His truth.  We keep busy while we wait; and we delight in His peace.  For now, even though, just like Dylan, we can’t fully grasp the meaning of God’s time; we rest on His promise that He’ll be back in “a little while.”

The Aroma of the Knowledge of Christ.

Is there anything better than the aroma, the fragrance, the scent, the smell of what we love? That’s the secret of the success of scented candles, I suppose. Some of my favorite aromas are lavender, the ocean, rain, movie theater pop corn, baked goods, Christmas trees, and the way my Mother used to smell after taking a shower (I know…strangely specific… : )

The sense of smell has the power of immediately transporting us to the original source of the aroma.  The same way a not so pleasant “smell” can turn our stomachs as the bad associations are triggered and rejection surfaces; aromas that we associate with something good, special, precious, and treasured to us trigger the immediate soothing of our soul, and we are pleased.

One of those sweet aromas that never fail to trigger the soothing of my soul is Yardley English Lavender. That’s the line of bath products that my Mother used all of her life. Even though I left my parent’s home some 25 years ago and my Mother has been gone for almost 12 of them; the scent of Yardley English Lavender brings me back to the days of my youth growing up in Panama under my sweet Mother’s gentle watch.

My Mother was a petite woman with a giant’s heart. I don’t know many people who come close to her kindness and gentleness of demeanor. Her generosity and compassion are still remembered by those who knew her. And the very mention of her name makes people smile. It is no wonder that the aroma that reminds me of her brings me to a place of rest, of contentment and tranquility.

Thinking about how a set of scented bath products makes me feel good inside and is pleasing to my soul reminds me of the Scripture that says how Christians are a pleasing aroma to God. 2 Corinthians 2: 14-15 says,

But thanks be to God, who always leads us as captives in Christ’s triumphal procession and uses us to spread the aroma of the knowledge of him everywhere. For we are to God the pleasing aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing.

What a beautiful image. Christians carry with them the knowledge of Christ as we become the dwelling place of the Holy Spirit. That knowledge of Christ goes with us wherever we go and as a lovely aroma, those around us should be able to perceive it. When we fulfill our God-given mission to “spread the aroma of the knowledge of Christ everywhere,” God Almighty is pleased with us.

Christ, “loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” (Ephesians 5: 2) Christ lives in us. Therefore, His fragrant offering continues to be lifted up straight to the Throne of God each and every day, particularly when we not only share that fragrant offering with Him, but we spread it around to all who surround us.

I close my eyes and imagine our Father in heaven, taking a deep breath to inhale the aroma of His beloved down here on earth. I picture Him smiling in delight each time one of His children intentionally pursues to spread the aroma of the knowledge of Christ around. We are the treasured children of God, and we are capable of triggering satisfaction in our Heavenly Father as He takes in the aroma that we exude thanks to the person of our Lord Jesus Christ and His perfect sacrifice on the cross.

The way a set of scented bath products sets my heart at ease and pleases my soul is but a faint reminder of how we too are to become that fragrant offering thanks to our Lord Jesus Christ. As such, that offering is to ascend to the Holy nostrils of our Most High God as a pleasing and living sacrifice to His throne.

Perhaps one day, I would get to embrace my Mom again, and who knows, but I might even breathe in that old-fashioned Yardley English Lavender fragrance up in heaven once again.

Let's Get Busy for the Kingdom of God

The good thing about living in a place like Western PA - where we get a good, solid 7 days of sunshine per season - is that you don’t get to see the dust that accumulates all around your house very often. Especially in the winter, the layers of dust become invisible to the untrained eye in the midst of the grayness of the days. But then, one day…out of the blue, completely unexpectedly, the sun decides to show its glorious face and…yes, the dust becomes visible again. 

This “phenomenon” made me think of the words of our Lord Jesus to His disciples when, while hanging out at the Mount of Olives they asked Him about what signs would announce the end of times. In the comfort of a familiar and safe place, Jesus told them about the “beginning of birth pains” that will signal the end. Chapter 24 of the Gospel of Matthew records our Savior’s words of revelation. And the picture that Jesus painted was not a pretty one. He told his disciples how they (we) would recognize the season that’d user the end, but He also told them very clearly how no one really knows the exact moment when it’ll happen.

 “But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.” Matthew 24: 36

Then, Jesus proceeded to masterfully make His point as He said:

“Therefore keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come. 43But understand this: If the owner of the house had known at what time of night the thief was coming, he would have kept watch and would not have let his house be broken into. 44So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him.” Matthew 24: 41-44

By saying this, Jesus revealed not only the events that we would have no control over, but most importantly, He told us, by telling His disciples, about the things that we could actually do. And it was simple. He told them as He tells us today, “be prepared.” You don’t know when I’m coming back, but as surely as God lives, I will be back and you better be ready!

He illustrates the horrible consequences that those who are not diligently and vigilantly awaiting the Master’s return will suffer. The parables of our Lord Jesus clearly declare the importance of living a life of obedience, following His precepts and doing what is right while we wait for His return. He tells us to keep our lights shinning, produce fruit and care for our brothers and sisters so, even though we don’t know the hour, when He comes back we may be found working for His Kingdom.

"Therefore keep watch, because you do not know the day or the hour.” Matthew 25:13

On that unknown day, the Lord’s entrance will be like that unexpected ray of sunshine in a winter day. He will burst through the clouds regardless of how thick and gray they may seem. He will cut through them and light will expose the hidden compartments of our souls. The layers of dust that we neglected to clean would be visible and would cover us with shame.
The good news is that even the thickest sin is dusted off and washed away by the blood of the Lamb. The unrighteousness of our total depravity dissipated the day God chose us as His adopted children and inputted the righteousness of Christ in us as we received the salvation that only His perfect sacrifice is capable of offering. With each nail in His hands and feet, Jesus took our sin. With each drop of His blood, we were made clean.

I don’t want gray days keeping me from doing what I am commanded to do. I don’t want my circumstances to determine my actions. I want to stay in vigilance. I want to be watchful. I want the light of His advent to shine on me and find me unashamed. I want Him to find me busy about His work when the time comes for His return.

For as lightning that comes from the east is visible even in the west, so will be the coming of the Son of Man. Matthew 24: 27

P.S.:  perhaps, part of that work for the Kingdom also includes seriously cleaning, dusting and de-cluttering my house ; )

Our Security is in Christ Alone!

Last night, I had to do the bedtime routine by myself since my husband Dan was at a meeting and he would come back passed the kids’ bedtime. Once the boys were in bed, I decided to do something mindless and watched some TV. Soon, the boys got quiet in their rooms and I assumed they’ve fallen asleep. After a while, I heard the door opening downstairs and it was Dan coming home. Out of the blue Grant, my 9-year old passed by behind me flying and ran down the stairs to greet Daddy. I had no clue he was awake. He gave Dan a big hug and then went back to his room. Shortly after, we checked and he was fast asleep. Hmmm…I wondered if he had been waiting for Daddy to come home to feel secure enough to sleep. I think so.

I know, personally, I need security. I think everyone does. Some people are more tolerant to risk than others, but in general, I believe we all need to have certain level of safety and security in our lives in order to thrive. When we feel that our security/safety is being threatened, we go on survival mode and stop growing. Safety and security become our priority, so we relegate all other pursuits to a secondary role. We turn into one-issue-minded people and the rest gets put aside.

It is understandable that we feel that security is a number one priority. After all, we are equipped with God-given instincts which help us avoid danger. Everyone needs the stability found in feeling safe. Could it be possible, however, that our desire for safety and security might lead us away from Christ?

I believe the answer is perhaps, yes. I believe that when we search for our security in places that are distant and removed from Christ, we are, indeed being taken away from the path that leads to Him. He is our source of security. He is the only one who can ultimately and definitively keep us safe. No one or nothing else can. Therefore, when we misplace our trust for security and safety in the hands of worldly things, we are doing nothing but creating idols upon which altars we will eventually, and maybe inadvertedly, some day bow down and worship. After all, no body can serve two masters, “Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.” (Matthew 6:24)

According to Gill’s Exposition Commentary, the word “money” in this passage is the word "mammon," a Syriac word that signifies money, wealth, riches, substance, and everything that comes under the name of worldly goods. Hebrews used the word to denote wealth, and also to imply confidence and trust in such wealth. Therefore, I believe what our Lord tells us in this passage is plain and simple, if we love the world, symbolized by money here, and put our trust and confidence in it rather than in Him, we would simply not be able to love Him. Our love would be torn from Him and squandered on worldly pursuits.

I don’t want my love to be wasted on the world. I want to love and honor and serve Christ above all. He is my master. I don’t want to be in bondage to anything or anyone else. He is the only one worthy of my worship. Worthy is the Lamb!

I believe the Lord wants our complete trust to be only on Him. He wants us to believe His promises given to us in the Bible and confidently proclaim without fear,

The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. 

What can mere mortals do to me? 

The LORD is with me; he is my helper. 

I look in triumph on my enemies. 

Psalm 118: 6,7 

Regardless of what the “enemies” of our soul and body may be, the Lord is with us, to whom then shall we fear? He promised that He will not let our feet slip. He who watches over us will not slumber nor sleep. The Lord will keep us from all harm. He will watch over our lives. (Psalm 121)

When I go back to the promises of the Bible, I realize that my job is to trust Him and let Him be God in my life. My job is to seek Him first and all the rest will be given to me as an added bonus. (Matthew 6:33)

Jesus comforts me and all of His beloved with His unwavering words, Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. 

(John 14:27)

As I recognize that Christ doesn’t “give us as the world gives,” I know that finding security in Him might not necessarily mean living the risk-free life of comfort that the world attempts to make us imagine as ideal. A life as a follower of Christ’s way usually mean a road paved with hardship and pain. But it is the road that leads to victory eternal.

I don’t want the temporary victories that this world may offer me. As a matter of fact, I don’t want to rely on anything this world has to offer. I look around to those who put their trust in worldly promises and all I see is a society in decay where life is not valued. I see a society that seeks instant gratification and pursuits pleasure at all cost. I see a society that has developed a sense of entitlement and a servile dependency that had turned free people into slaves. I see a society that has chosen to worship a different master. I choose to worship my Lord Jesus the Christ.

It may sound counter-intuitive to some; but for those who know our God, we remember what He says to us,

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, 
neither are your ways my ways,” 

declares the LORD. 

“As the heavens are higher than the earth, 

so are my ways higher than your ways 

and my thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55: 8-9 

As I think about my young son finding a sense of security and safety in the arms of His earthly Father, I too want to run to my Heavenly Father every time I feel the threats of life hanging over my head like an overcast Western Pennsylvania day. I want to run into His arms for it is only there that I will feel completely safe.

Remember You Are His Beloved!

I have never done anything in my life more difficult than being a mother. I don’t have much experience at it; but I have never felt more nervous, scared, concerned and worried in my life than I have in the last almost 10 years since I became a “Mama.” Parenting is really not for the faint of heart and I would never be able to survive it without the help and the constant presence of Christ in my life and career as a Mother. 

I can hardly think of anything else harder to endure than seeing your child hurt or broken hearted. Unfortunately, I’ve already had to witness it not long ago and it almost literally killed me. The tears of my young boy silently crying on my arms bruised my heart. The worst part of it is that there isn’t much I can do to protect him from it ever happening again. Life is just full of hurt and disappointment. We live in a fallen world and evil relentlessly roams and prowls around, seeking for someone to devour. (1 Peter 5: 8)

The best I can do is to be there to comfort my son and point out to him that even when others reject him, Jesus never will.

This is a truth not just for my young boy; but for all of God’s beloved. It is a truth for you and for me. It is very difficult to go through life without clinging to Christ and His love. Sometimes we forget, though. That’s why, by whatever means we have at our disposal it is crucial for us to remember who we are, that our identity is in Jesus and that we are citizens of Heaven. It is vital for us to stand firm on the truth that we are the chosen ones and that nobody could possibly love us more than our Jesus, who died for us while we were still sinners.

The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. Romans 8:16-17

We will share in His glory. He promised! We will suffer for a little while here as we walk through this valley of the shadow of death. But we are not to fear any evil, for He is with us. His light and His presence go before us. The Good Shepherd knows our name and His rod and His staff, they lead us and comfort us. Therefore, we shall not want for anything, for as long as we seek Him first and His Kingdom, all the rest will be given to us according to His riches.

Just like I told my child, “hang on to all that is good, and remember who you are; you are a beloved of Christ,” we too need to remember that everyday, so the hurts of this life don’t overcome us.


Let us listen to the words of Jesus and find rest in Him as He tells us,

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16: 33

Listen to this great song too!

http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=7YPZGWNX

Let's Go Back to the Well

Another Valentine Day is approaching very fast.  This is not one of my favorite holidays.  It is nothing but work for me.  I have 3 dozen treat bags to make for my boys’ party, and my back and wallet ache!  I’ve been listening to a lot of commentaries and programs on the radio about how to rekindle the flame of your love, how to reconnect with your spouse, how to love and respect one another, how to make time for each other, etc, etc, etc., and frankly, I am tired of it.  Hearing all these “tips” and well-intentioned advice only stresses me out. 

Dan and I don’t even celebrate this day.  We stopped making a big deal out of Valentine’s like 20 years ago, when we discovered that, for some reason, no matter what we did, the day always turned out rotten.  And this was when we were still dating!  So one year we said, enough!  No more Valentine’s.  So hearing about the flowers and the chocolate gives me heartburn.

Today, however, among all the chatter about Valentine’s I heard someone on the radio talking about the story of Jesus and the woman at the well.  This story of hope is found in John 4.  The person on the radio said that he believes that sometimes, when we go through a dessert in our faith walk, we need to go back to the well and have Jesus replenish us with His living water.  He is the only One who can quench our thirst during those dry seasons in our lives. 

When I came home, and finally found a minute to myself, I read the passage.  I drank it, rather.  I was very moved by verse 6 where it says that Jesus was tired and He sat down by the well.  I found so much comfort as I imagined the scene.  A long journey in the scorching dessert sun, feet hurting, back aching, our Lord and King, the Creator of the Universe, needed to sit down and rest.  In His full humanity, Jesus experienced what I experience every day after a long and grueling day.  He too knows what it means to be tired.  He too needed to get off His holy feet and rest.  What an amazing image that is.  Our Lord, fully God and fully man, is able to identify with us and us with Him, even in the most mundane of events.

The Samaritan woman approaches our Lord with her empty jar to fill it up at the well.  He asks her for a drink.  She belongs to a group of people who doesn’t associate with Jews.  Jesus couldn’t care less.  He breaks all the rules and speaks to her.  And not only does He talk to her, but He asks her for water.  The purpose of the encounter is to change that Samaritan woman’s life and the lives of all who are to read this passage through the centuries. 

“Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, ¹⁴ but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”  John 4:13 

The woman at the well had no idea that she was going to draw living water so she would thirst no more.  When I think of her I imagine she was tired too.  Only, she was tired of her life.  She had no husband.  She had a collection of lovers and a hard life of sin.  She was tired.  She needed water.  She was running on empty.  Her life had not turned out the way she imagined it as a little girl.  Her dreams of lemon drops and cotton candy clouds dissipated as she grew up and reality became harsh.  She was tired.  But God had reserved a precious gift for her that day, - an unexpected gift, - a gift of grace.  The encounter with the Living Water would change her life and renew her.  Not only would her jar get filled up that day.  Her life would too overflow with the perfect water that only Jesus can offer.

I see a bit of that woman in me today.  Exhausted, spent, tired and thirsty.  I’m running on empty.  My jar needs refilled.  It is time for me to go back to the well and let the Living Water pour down on me and in me. 

There’s no way I can love others if I don’t allow My Jesus to love me first.  That’s the only reason we love, precisely because He first loved us.  (1 John 4:19).  By coming back to Him, He will fill me up to the brim with His love so I can pour that love into those around me.  Let’s go back to the well, today. 

As I fill up the last treat bag and curl the last ribbon for my boys Valentine’s party tomorrow I think of them, so young and full of wonder about the holiday, (they want to keep eating the candy!).  I decide I’m not going to ruin it for them with my cynicism about the celebration.  I put on a smile and talk about how much fun the party will be.  I let some of the freshly refilled Living Water in my soul spill over into my sons’ hearts as I wish they have a happy Valentine’s Day!