The Lasting Power of Words of Love

Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. Proverbs 16:24

For the last few weeks and months…actually, for the last several years I have been feeling very convicted by the command to speak kindly to others, particularly to my loved ones.  My struggle with containing my tongue has been a long and a hard fought battle.  And it continues to this day.  It is an instinctive reaction.  I feel threatened; I lash out with harsh words.  The funny thing is that those I love are the major recipients of my lack of self restraint.  I pray for kindness to come to my words, but I fail time and time again.  The Lord is working this discipline of the Spirit in me very slowly.  One of the things He is using to change me is to make me realize the power of words of love and words of affirmation.  

The Lord has brought back to my mind countless memories of people who have spoken kindly to me throughout the years.  He has shown me that if mean and harsh words have the power to destroy; words spoken in love have the power to build up.  And once you build up someone, the effects are long lasting.  Speaking loving words to someone who feels insecure, threatened or rejected have the power to bring that person out of the pit of darkness.  And once someone comes out of the pit into the light, the chances for that person to deliberately climb back down in there are pretty slim.  

I remember many occasions in which kind and loving words have rescued me from a place of insecurity and vulnerability.  Today, however, I can’t stop thinking about my Father-in-Law.  Dan’s Dad was a very special man with a divine spark that was evident in the kindness of his eyes.  I didn’t get to spend much time with him.  I only knew him for a few short years, but the impact of knowing him will be everlasting.  

I remember it as if it was yesterday.  Dan and I had been married for only a few months and we flew back home to have a wedding celebration with Dan’s side of the family and his friends, since we had gotten married down in Panama and were living there at the time.  My in-laws invited the entire family out to eat one day during our visit, and as we were getting ready to leave the restaurant, my Father-in-Law, out of the blue, gave me a big hug and whispered in my ear, “I love you.”  I didn’t know what to do or say.  I just stood there taking it all in, basking on the heartfelt love that he was transferring to me with his spontaneous action of care.  Those words echoed deeply within my soul because at that time I was in the midst of a season of insecurity and vulnerability that would last for years to come.  He didn’t know that, but he sensed that I needed to hear I was loved, and he didn’t hold back.  He took the step and acted in love, for which I’d be forever grateful.

As life would have it that was the last time I saw my Father-in-Law alive.  Soon we left for Panama and a short few months later I would be flying back to the States to attend his funeral.  That was my first experience with pure, unadulterated grief.  It’s been almost 17 years and I still feel the sting of his loss.  I guess the wounds caused by the loss of a loved one are never completely healed.  It’s only by the mercy of the Almighty that the pain becomes less bitter and the memories a bit sweeter with the passing of time.

The memories of his hug and caring words remain with me as a gift that comes back to me in hours of struggle.  It was a gift from God delivered directly to me by a dear man whom I’ll never forget.  It pains me that my sons never got to meet their Grandpa.  Grant bears his namesake and I have to say, he carries it well.  Once in a while I spot that same spark of divine inspiration in him when, without warning, he unexpectedly hugs me and tells me he loves me.  

I have the privilege to walk among people of great kindness and compassion.  I pray that the Lord will teach me through them the art of actions of love and loving words.  In the meantime, I have to continue to find inspiration in Scripture and in the treasured memories of those who have touched my soul along the road.

Ephesians 4:29
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

James 1:26
If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.