Those who know me well know I am a tad, just a bit, difficult to deal with. “You yell too much!” “You overreact all the time!” “You have NO patience.” “Why can’t you just relax?” “Why do you always have to get mad at everything?” I don’t know how many times I’ve heard these expressions come out of the mouths of my babes…sigh…
It’s true. It’s all true. My short temper and lack of self-control (along with most of the other fruits of the Spirit) are my life-long struggles. Here it is: I am not a joy to be around most of the time.
I often wonder how could anyone actually love me? My husband would be so much better off with some nice girl who is gentle, tender, loving, understanding, patient…so would my sons…they would thrive if they had a kinder, more caring mother…sigh…
These are the thoughts that run through my head on a pretty regular base.
This season of Lent I want to leave those thoughts behind. They are not doing me or anybody any good. And to help me do that, I am claiming Psalm 139, and I am clinging to all Scripture that reminds me how He knows me…how He knows my name…and even so, even when He knows all of me, He loves me.
He has made me, He has searched me, He knows ALL about me even before the beginning of the world…even before my unformed body began to take shape inside the hidden place…He knew my name and He designed a plan for me…a beautiful plan! And for all that, I praise You and thank You, Lord!
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
Psalm 139: 13-14
Today I cling to the truth that You are MY Good Shepherd, and that as such, You know me and I hear Your voice…the voice of truth that says that You chose me and love me just as I am.