A couple of weeks ago I was just about to explode with anxiety and fear. I was preparing to have a series of pretty scary tests done and I had a hard time controlling my emotions and my sense of doom. God, lovingly and patiently walked me through the whole process until He saw me to the other side of the ordeal…but I can appreciate that now. While I was living those moments of uncertainty, I couldn’t help but falling into the depths of panic. At times, I felt anxiety pushing me off the cliff into a place of darkness and cold sweats, where the promised peace escaped me.
Through my struggles trusting Him, Our Lord remained faithful and He delivered me from the disease by giving me a most perfect set of test results. As I heard the doctor giving me the good news of clean scans and good blood work, I felt such an overwhelming relief that it spilled over in tears of joy. My first thoughts were of gratitude, but then, I quickly realized that I would never know such great sense of happiness if it hadn’t been for the times of sadness I experienced a year earlier during my surgeries and diagnosis.
Our Almighty God reminded me, right there, at a hospital hallway, how suffering and hardship have a great purpose in shaping our walk with Him…for it is, precisely, in the trials that we discover His presence…because…
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. Psalm 23: 4
It is because we know what it is like to be low that we can…
…mount up with wings like eagles, run and not get tired, walk and not become weary.
(Isaiah 40: 31)
Both states belong to God and we must accept both as part of His loving and perfect plan for us.
When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider this: God has made the one as well as the other. Therefore, no one can discover anything about their future. Ecclesiastes 7: 14
He replied, "You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?" In all this, Job did not sin in what he said. Job 2:10
They are both part of the refining process of sanctification…and usually one cannot exist without the other…because…to recognize the elation of the heights is necessary to have been in the despairing depths of the pit.
I know test results cannot bring me peace. True peace comes from an unshakable trust in Our Mighty God. Therefore, I cling to Him as my Strong Tower and I pray I remember these lessons when life turns uncertain again.