Our Dad in Heaven

Yesterday would have been my Father's 90th birthday had he still been on this earth.  His departure almost 4 years ago has left a big hole in my heart that hasn't been filled yet, and probably would never be.  Thinking about him makes me miss him even more and makes everything turn grey around me.  Issues seem harder to deal with and I feel weaker to face them.  Loneliness engulfs me as I start a slow descend into a place of darkness and sadness that I fear.  The day goes by and a general sense of malaise surrounds me, and I'm unable to define it.  Night time comes and darkness becomes thicker so I escape the only way I know how: I go to sleep.  Morning comes and the heaviness hasn't disappeared. The expectations of the day become a cumbersome weight on my shoulders and I have no clue how I will get through it all...

In a morning that greets me with anxious thoughts of "how am I going to ever get through this day?" A reminder comes:

"Walk peacefully with Me through this day.  You are wondering how you will cope with all that is expected of you.  You must traverse this day like any other:  one step at a time.  Instead of mentally rehearsing how you will do this or that, keep your mind on My Presence and on taking the next step.  The more demanding your day, the more help you can expect from Me.  This is a training opportunity, since I designed you for deep dependence on your Shepherd-King.  Challenging times wake you up and amplify your awareness of needing My help.

When you don't know what to do, wait while I open the way before you.  Trust that I know what I'm doing, and be ready to follow My lead.  I will give strength to you, and I will bless you with Peace." (Sarah Young's Jesus Calling)

This is what my devotional reading for today said.  And, as soon as I read the first line I felt a mixture of conviction and peace in my heart.  I felt the conviction of a daughter who has forgotten that her Daddy loves her and takes care of her.  I felt the peace a daughter who remembers her Daddy loves her and takes care of her.

As every day, Jesus IS calling me today.  He calls me and calls you to stick by Him and trust His ways, even when they seem unclear or just plain absurd.  He knows... He knows us and He knows what He is doing.  Let's hang in there with our Father who loves us and never leaves us.