Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and
healing to the bones. Proverbs 16:24
For the last few weeks and months…actually, for the last
several years I have been feeling very convicted by the command to speak kindly
to others, particularly to my loved ones. My struggle with containing my tongue has been
a long and a hard fought battle. And it
continues to this day. It is an instinctive
reaction. I feel threatened; I lash out
with harsh words. The funny thing is
that those I love are the major recipients of my lack of self restraint. I pray for kindness to come to my words, but
I fail time and time again. The Lord is
working this discipline of the Spirit in me very slowly. One of the things He is using to change me is
to make me realize the power of words of love and words of affirmation.
The Lord has brought back to my mind countless memories of
people who have spoken kindly to me throughout the years. He has shown me that if mean and harsh words
have the power to destroy; words spoken in love have the power to build up. And once you build up someone, the effects are
long lasting. Speaking loving words to
someone who feels insecure, threatened or rejected have the power to bring that
person out of the pit of darkness. And
once someone comes out of the pit into the light, the chances for
that person to deliberately climb back down in there are pretty slim.
I remember many occasions in which kind and loving words
have rescued me from a place of insecurity and vulnerability. Today, however, I can’t stop thinking about my
Father-in-Law. Dan’s Dad was a very
special man with a divine spark that was evident in the kindness of his eyes. I didn’t get to spend much time with him. I only knew him for a few short years, but
the impact of knowing him will be everlasting.
I remember it as if it was yesterday. Dan and I had been married for only a few
months and we flew back home to have a wedding celebration with Dan’s side of
the family and his friends, since we had gotten married down in Panama and were
living there at the time. My in-laws
invited the entire family out to eat one day during our visit, and as we were
getting ready to leave the restaurant, my Father-in-Law, out of the blue, gave
me a big hug and whispered in my ear, “I love you.” I didn’t know what to do or say. I just stood there taking it all in, basking
on the heartfelt love that he was transferring to me with his spontaneous
action of care. Those words echoed
deeply within my soul because at that time I was in the midst of a season of
insecurity and vulnerability that would last for years to come. He didn’t know that, but he sensed that I
needed to hear I was loved, and he didn’t hold back. He took the step and acted in love, for which
I’d be forever grateful.
As life would have it that was the last time I saw my
Father-in-Law alive. Soon we left for Panama and a short
few months later I would be flying back to the States to attend his funeral. That was my first experience with pure,
unadulterated grief. It’s been almost 17
years and I still feel the sting of his loss. I guess the wounds caused by the loss of a
loved one are never completely healed. It’s
only by the mercy of the Almighty that the pain becomes less bitter and the
memories a bit sweeter with the passing of time.
The memories of his hug and caring words remain with me as a
gift that comes back to me in hours of struggle. It was a gift from God delivered directly to
me by a dear man whom I’ll never forget. It pains me that my sons never got to meet
their Grandpa. Grant bears his namesake
and I have to say, he carries it well. Once
in a while I spot that same spark of divine inspiration in him when, without
warning, he unexpectedly hugs me and tells me he loves me.
I have the privilege to walk among people of great kindness
and compassion. I pray that the Lord
will teach me through them the art of actions of love and loving words. In the meantime, I have to continue to find
inspiration in Scripture and in the treasured memories of those who have
touched my soul along the road.
Ephesians 4:29
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
James 1:26
If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.
If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.