Deciding to Forgive

 "Forgiveness is not a feeling.  It is a decision."  This is what the minister in the mini-podcast that I listen to in the mornings said today.  I don't know about you, but the idea was very thought-provoking to me.

I try not to struggle with forgiveness.  I try to give it freely...in most instances...but there are a few cases in which...well...I wrestle with it quite a bit.  I'd rather not go into details, but there's been times when I have decided to forgive the same person more than once. It's like I forgive, but something happens, and I find myself picking up the hurt again, which makes the grudge tighten in my throat until I realize I'm choking because I'm rescinding my forgiveness...then I remember how Jesus Himself told us...forgive and you will be forgiven. (Luke 6: 36).  Sigh...and after a deep breath, I decide to forgive again.

I don't know for sure, but that might have been what Jesus meant when He had this exchange with Peter:

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”

Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. Matthew 18: 21-22

I believe Jesus knows us so well, that He recognizes that often the damage is so profound, that we will find ourselves having to forgive the same person over and over and over again.  He also realizes that we are so full of pride, that when our ego is bruised, we tend to withdraw our forgiveness...until we remember that we are supposed to forgive to infinity and beyond.  

How do we make the decision to forgive, be it once or repeatedly?  Do we do it only because we're afraid that we won't be forgiven if we don't?  I guess that's a big part of it.  But like in other situations, decisions made out of fear usually don't run deep.  It is the decisions we make out of love the ones that grow roots that help them stick.  It is when we decide to love others the way Jesus loves them: as His precious creatures, that we would be able to forgive for real.  Once I begin to see my "special case" with the eyes of love and care...the same eyes that Jesus looks at them with...I might arrive at a point when the memories of the pain don't hurt anymore and I'm more concerned with the well-being of the person than with protecting my pride.

I pray that this season of Lent gives me the ability to love others the way Jesus loves them...and me too:  undeservingly.  In His Precious Name I pray.  Amen!