Why is it that we are the least patient, kind, sensitive, gentle, loving, etc. with those we love the most? Perhaps I should not say “we” but just “I”…sigh…
I tell you something…I may not look it since I am able to fake it pretty well in public, but when it comes to temper…I have a pretty short one. Self-control is a constant battle in my soul. Anger wages a rough war in my heart and it doesn’t take much for me to explode at the slightest provocation. My rantings, fits and yelling are infamous at home. Even Link, our new pup knows all about it. He quickly runs to his little crate as soon as the decibels hit red.
I am not proud of it…but I can’t lie.
It has to stop!
And I can’t…
Only the power of the Holy Spirit can turn things around. He has already done it in most areas of my life. For example, He has given me much patience to deal with the droves of immature, spoiled, overly-indulged, self-centered, millennials that populate my classrooms…(yeah…I am so much more patient with my students now. If you don’t believe me, let me tell you that I walked out of my first teaching job back in 1998 because I couldn’t stand the kids!).
My point is, if the Holy Spirit has and continues to work and make progress in the arena of patience in some areas of my life, He will do the same in all areas of it. I just need to do my part as well. I need to be aware of the triggers. I need to be intentional about maneuvering as soon as I catch myself starting to spin. I need to consciously turn the volume down the second my pitch sounds too high. But before all that, I need to surrender it all to Him who can make it stop. I have to make it my constant prayer that He, the giver of all Goodness may make me good, the Author of all Kindness may make me kind.
I pray that He will help me turn my home into a filling station of hope, love, life, encouragement and compassion, not a dumping ground for frustration, dissatisfaction and despair.
Like I read at a Church sign a few weeks ago: I want to be a fountain, not a drain!
Today I cling tightly to Scripture that reminds me to manage my anger so it doesn’t cause me to sin and control my emotions so I’m not ruled by their whims:
"In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.
My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.
James 1: 19-20
A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control. Proverbs 29: 11
But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. Colossians 3: 8