Thanksgiving Journal: Thank You for the Light

 Is there such a thing as too many Christmas lights? 

Well, regardless of particularities, opinions and taste...I believe there is nothing better than Christmas lights.  I especially LOVE it when their brilliant light shines through fresh snow on a clear December night, when the twinkle from the stars up above mingles with the glow down below.  It gets dark so early in the day, that plugging in the garlands and the trees around 5 p.m. just makes the gloom of the early dusk dissipate...giving the house extra warmth in the chill of the silent nights.

I haven't decorated the house for Christmas yet.  It was a busy Thanksgiving week, but I am ready to start digging into the boxes in the basement for the shimmer of the season.  It's funny how my Christmas lights spend the year hidden in the darkest room of the house...

Today, the final day of my Thanksgiving Journal I want to give thanks for the Light.  Jesus entered this world in the middle of the night to be the source of Light that would break through darkness.  As He proclaimed it Himself, 

Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” John 8: 12

He is the Light that shines in the darkness and which darkness cannot overcome (John 1: 5).  But, o...how much does darkness despise Light...darkness rejects Light and tries to put it out.  We are children of the Light, though, and as such, we must let our light shine before others, so that they may see our good works and give glory to Our Father who is in heaven (Matthew 6: 16).  We should never hide our light, not under a bushel or anything...we need to get our lights out of the basement of our souls outwards for all to see.  That's what Christmas lights represent, how the Light of the World came down to make His dwelling among us.  So, let's make our Light shine brightly out in the open! Let's hang them up for the world to see... After all...the world is a very dark place, so there isn't such a thing as too many Christmas Lights.

Praise You, Jesus, for being Our Light!  In Your Precious Name. Amen!

Thanksgiving Journal: Thank You for Awe-Inspiring Moments

Do you remember having experienced any awe-inspiring moments this year?  You know the kind...those that fill your skin with goosebumps, or take your breath away...those that bring tears to your eyes, only not of sadness, but of pure wonder...those that represent life's big exclamation marks.  These moments are quite rare and very special.  According to the Collins dictionary, “Awe is the feeling of respect and amazement that you have when you are faced with something wonderful and often rather frightening.”

Our God is an Awesome God, like Psalm 68: 35 says:

You, God, are awesome in your sanctuary;

the God of Israel gives power and strength to his people.

Praise be to God!

Therefore, when we experience God-moments...by definition, those are Awe-moments...actually, those are the MOST Awesome moments.  Have you experienced any of those lately?

Like I mentioned earlier, they tend to not come around very often.  They are the ones that make one exclaim: "That is the work of God Almighty."  Because you know there was no force on earth that could have accomplished what you've witnessed.  

Awe-inspiring moments fill you with respect and fright...the kind of fright that we feel when we know God is near and on the move.

I had a moment like that this year.  Actually, I had many moments in which contemplating nature allowed me to feel awe.  But I had one experience in particular that made me take a few steps back and exhale the acknowledgement that it was only by the power of the Hand of God Almighty that things unfolded the way they did.  It was a moment I have been waiting for and praying for 12 years...it was a moment I knew would only be real by the direct intervention of God.  It was a moment when reconciliation was possible and old and deep wounds became healed...and peace finally flowed again like a river. 

Today, I want to Praise Our Awesome God for giving us awe-inspiring moments.  May we recognize them when they happen.  May we treasure them.  May we appreciate them for they are precious, indeed.  May we be aware of them for they are rare.  May we be filled with respect for they are so outside of the realm of the humanly possible, that they are frightening.  May we be grateful.  In the Precious Name of He Who Is Awesome.  Amen! 

Thanksgiving Journal: Thank You for Your Word

I love to read.  My problem is, I don't have time to do it.  I have piles of unread books in my shelves, which I look at longingly, waiting for a moment when I could grab one and dive into it.  The way life is going these days, however, make me doubt that is going to happen any time soon.  This morning I glanced at the one sitting by my night table since June...still unfinished...thinking that hopefully during Christmas break I might finally get through the final few chapters.  That made me think of another Book...

I don't want this November Thanksgiving Journal to close without setting aside an entry to thank God for giving us Scripture...our compass...our Christian life GPS.  Unlike a compass, though which can be faulty or a GPS that can make mistakes, God's Word is infallible...it never fails...it never stirs us wrong...it never takes us on the wrong path.  

However, a book is only good when it is open...that goes quadruple for the Bible.  Through His Word, God reveals Himself to us...but it is up to us to witness such divine revelations by actually reading it.   

I don't want to look at my Bible longingly...I don't want to leave it on my shelf next to the other neglected books collecting dust...I don't want to miss out on God's message...and most of all...I don't want to miss out on getting closer to Christ by not reading Him.  That's the tragedy of not reading the Bible...we miss out on a personal relationship with Him...

We forget that He, Jesus, is The Word made Flesh! Remember? John 1: 14?

The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.

It's not like with any other book where by not reading it we don't get to know what happens to the characters in the stories.  Not reading the Bible keeps us away Jesus.  It's that simple.  And I don't want that to happen.  I don't want the enemy to deceive me by making me feel that I don't have enough time in the day to read The Word.  The enemy knows that's the most effective way of building a wall between us and Our Lord.  How often I fall for it...sigh...

Today, I want to make sure I give thanks to God for choosing to reveal Himself in all His Perfect Trinitarian Glory to us in Scripture so we can grow closer to Him even in our imperfect ways. Thank You, Jesus for becoming flesh and making Your dwelling among us.  Thank You for remaining near and for giving us the opportunity to find You every day in the Bible.  Please inspire us to open Your Word and dive into it on a daily basis. In Your Precious Name.  Amen!

All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be complete, fully equipped for every good work. 2 Timothy 3: 16-17

Thanksgiving Journal: Thank You for Jesus

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3: 16

Perhaps, one of the most recognizable and most quoted Bible verse in all Scripture, John 3: 16 is my inspiration for today's thanksgiving post.  I want to thank God for His Love manifested in His plan of salvation for sinners like me...

I want to thank God openly and deeply for a plan of salvation that included sending Jesus to be with us...to walk with us...to dwell in us in the Person of the Holy Spirit and to be our Advocate, Defender and Counselor from here to eternity.

I want to thank God for loving us so, that He decided to give us His One and Only Son.

I want to rest in the assurance of His unfailing Love...a Love so profound that even though we are not deserving...He chose to become the Sacrificial Lamb needed to pay our debt of sin.

I want to thank God for His gift of Grace.  I want to thank God for giving us Jesus.

Like my devotional reading today says: "The best response to this glorious gift is a life steeped in thankfulness...This is the proper stance for a child of God: receiving with thanksgiving." (Jesus Calling  by Sarah Young)

I don't want to take for granted the gift of Your Love, Lord...a Love so perfect that knows no boundaries.  A love so unconditional, that knows no wrong.  A Love so big that knows no dimension.  I rejoice in Your Love and I count myself as a believer in Jesus, praising You for the promise of eternal life.  In Christ's Precious Name.  Amen!

Thanksgiving Journal: Thank You for the Reminders

 The attitude of Thanksgiving must remain beyond a day dedicated to it.  We all agree on that, right?  How quickly we forget, though...at least I do.  How quickly I revert to my old grumbling ways...where lack of patience and bad temper rule the day.  How quickly I forget the blessings.  How quickly I take for granted His provision.  How quickly I start demanding what I was never promised. How quickly I stop paying attention.  How quickly I disregard His Presence.  

Sigh...

Today, I am thankful, again, for Your reminders, Lord.  I am thankful for your bottomless well of patience.  I am thankful for how You speak to me so I remember to be intentional and to dedicate my energy to thankfulness.  

'"Hallelujahs" are the language of heaven, and they can become the language of your heart," says my devotional reading this morning.  The expression, Hallelujah can be translated as Praise the Lord.  And that should be the language my heart speaks at every moment...

Because of the loving devotion of the LORD we are not consumed, for His mercies never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness! “The LORD is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in Him.” Lamentations 3: 22-23

Like my devotional reading continued:

"A life of praise and thankfulness becomes a life filled with miracles.  Instead of trying to be in control, you focus on Me and what I am doing. This is the power of praise: centering your entire being in Me. this is how I created you to live, for I made you in My own image. Enjoy abundant life by overflowing with praise and thankfulness." (Jesus Calling by Sarah Young)

Thank You, Lord Jesus for who You are and for setting me aside to be part of Your family.  Thank You for the Holy Spirit in Me and for God the Father's Throne ruling over me...overflowing me with His River of Living Water.  I want to speak the language of Hallelujahs in my heart.  I want to surrender control and focus on You.  I want to activate the power of praise in my life by centering my entire being on You.  May You allow me to walk this way and remain in an attitude of thanksgiving every day.  In the Precious Name of Jesus.  Amen!

Thanksgiving Journal: Thank You for Your Ever-present Help

"The Lord is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him." Psalm 28:7

God is our refuge and strength,

an ever-present help in trouble.

Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way

and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,

though its waters roar and foam

and the mountains quake with their surging...

...The Lord Almighty is with us;

the God of Jacob is our fortress. Psalm 46: 1-3, 7

As we empty the dishwasher and put away the last of the silverware, I open the fridge and a bright glare of foil paper reflecting the light blinds me.  The assortment of containers storing Thanksgiving dinner leftovers are a reminder of another year of family gathered together enjoying the blessing of laughter and noise filling the house.  We missed some who couldn't attend in person, but at least we "visited" virtually for a few minutes. We shared, we reminisced, we created and now we store new memories into our minds and hearts for which our souls rejoice.

Looking back at Thanksgiving Day I want to lift up Praises for the real reason four our gratitude.  It's not about the turkey, the mashed potatoes that we forgot, the delicious pies or the sweet wine.  It's not even about family and friends.  It's not about a beautiful home and the warmth of a comfy blanket.  It's not about the means to go shopping for deals.  It's about the Ever-Presence of the Giver of All Things.

Today, as the glow of Thanksgiving Day gets dimmer, I want to be intentional about expressing my gratitude for Jesus, My Lord and Savior, My Refuge and Strength, My Ever-Present Help all the time.  I pray that even if I have nothing, I can still offer my thanksgiving to Him, the Lord Almighty, My Fortress.  In Christ's Precious Name.  Amen!

Thanksgiving Journal: Thank You for Instructing Us to Be Thankful

 "Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Ephesians 5: 20

The Apostle Paul, the great teacher, was inspired by the Holy Spirit to instruct the Church on many, many things. One of those lessons that we, as Christians are called to study, meditate upon, learn and accept is the fact that we are to be thankful always and for everything.  This command may seem easy.  I mean, how easy it is to say thank you, right?  Someone gives you a present, you say thank you.  Someone opens the door for you, you say thank you.  Someone helps you carry a heavy bag, you say thank you.  Someone offers you any kind of help, you say thank you.  After all, we are taught since before we can speak, to say the magic words: please and thank you, correct? So, of course we have no problem offering our thanksgiving to the Lord Almighty for all His blessings.  It's only natural.

However, what about that little phrase: "in all circumstances"? What about that pesky idea of "in every situation"...that little word "always"?

Always means at all times, in all occasions...

I don't have to tell you that life isn't "always" pleasant and good and bearable and smooth.  I don't have to give you examples of occasions that are not perfect, beautiful, nice, loving or excellent.  From forgetting to pull the green beans out of the microwave, undercooking the turkey and getting everyone sick with food poisoning to not having enough money to afford a turkey or having empty seats at the holiday table...life often is full of hardship and heartache.  And that's when the instruction of giving thanks "always" becomes an issue.

Today I read a post on my devotional that helped me look at this command to always giving thanks to God the Father for everything from a different perspective, which I hope allows me to follow this instruction more closely from now on.  It is worth the read, I believe, so I'm reproducing it here:

"Thankfulness takes the sting out of adversity.  that is why I have instructed you to give thanks for everything.  there is an element of mystery in this transaction:  you give Me thanks (regardless of your feelings), and I give you Joy (regardless of your circumstances). This is a spiritual act of obedience - at times, blind obedience.  To people who don't know Me intimately, it can seem irrational and even impossible to thank Me for heartrending hardships.  Nonetheless, those who obey Me in this way are invariably blessed, even though difficulties may remain.  Thankfulness opens your heart to My Presence and your mind to My thoughts.  You may still be in the same place, with the same set of circumstances, but it is as if a light has been switched on, enabling you to see from My perspective.  It is this Light of My Presence that removes the sting from adversity." (Jesus Calling by Sarah Young)

I pray that the attitude of thanksgiving that we experience during this season may extend to the rest of our lives, and that we may have the ability, strengthened by the Holy Spirit, the Divine Counselor and Comforter, to obey the command and always offer our gratitude to the Lord regardless of our feelings or our situations.  May we all receive the blessing of peace as we lift up our hands in praise, for He is Good, and His Love endures forever.  In the Precious Name of Jesus, Our Hope, Our Salvation, Our Rock, Our Deliverer.  Amen.

Blessed are those who have learned to acclaim you,

who walk in the light of your presence, Lord. Psalm 89: 15

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good;

his love endures forever. Psalm 118: 1

Thanksgiving Journal: Thank You for Your Giving Nature

Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. 2 Corinthians 9: 7-8

We know we are called to be imitators of Jesus.  We know that involves following after His steps to live a selfless and sacrificial life.  And, what that means in simple terms is: to cultivate a giving nature.  Jesus gave and continues to give Himself to us on a daily basis.  How often do we take that for granted?  I don't know about you, but I know I do...very often.  I take it as a given that He is a Giver...when, in reality is not a given...it is a gift...it is Grace.  And like with any gift, He does not have to give it.  But, it is His nature and for that I am most humbly thankful.  

The God of the Universe has looked at me and decided He loved me...I don't know why...why me...I'm the most unlovable creature.  Even my kids say I'm an angry dinosaur all the time...why would God choose to love me and bless me?  I don't know.  But I'm grateful.  His Loving and Giving Nature move Him to compassion and patience in a way that He is able and willing to bless us abundantly, like Paul says, so that we can have all we need and be ready for every good work He has planned for us.  Thank you, Lord for equipping us to be who You made us to be.  

As I praise Him for being the Great Giver, I remember my calling: to be a giver as well.  That's part of the good works He has designed for us.  That's part of the circle of giving: to receive so we can give.

Thank you, Lord for every perfect gift.  And, please, move me to give myself to Your people as You gave Yourself to me.  In the Precious Name of Jesus.  Amen!

Thanksgiving Journal: Thank You for Christian Music

 Today, I'm thankful for Christian music.  I am so grateful that God has decided to give some people the gift of music for His glory...I don't even know where to start.

  I've always loved music.  As a typical teen, I couldn't get enough of it.  Of course, back then (I'm talking in the 80s) we didn't have MP3s or Apple Music or Spotify or anything remotely like that.  We had...wait for it...wait for it...RADIO!  The lucky ones had Record Players and Cassette Players.  For the common folk like me, radio was the means to get to music.  Later on, there was something amazing called Cable TV which brought us MTV...an all-music-all-the-time-TV channel.  It was UNBELIEVABLE!!!  Of course, my parents never ever got Cable.  So, my access to it was super limited.  It was only during summer vacation when I got to spend two glorious weeks at my brother's house in the big city that I had a chance to indulge into the craziness of MTV.  But again, that was 2 weeks a year that I got to do that.  The rest of the time, it was just me and my transistor radio.  I did get an off-brand Walkman when I was in my late teens.  That was insane!  But of course, I only got to listen to the home-made, mixed-tapes I created by recording songs off of ... you guessed it ... the radio!

At any rate, my fascination with music continued.  During my college years the most amazing thing was invented: The CD! Boy, I gathered such a CD collection I'm still trying to figure out how to get rid of it.  And then, of course, now...in my phone I can get any song that was ever made just by calling it on Spotify or Apple Music. Mercy!

But it wasn't until I was in my late thirties that I discovered the biggest breakthrough in my music-loving career: Christian Music.

I still remember the moment.  Dan and I volunteered to chaperone the Church Youth for one night at an Alive Concert.  Grant was about 2 years old and he came with us. That event is responsible for opening my ears and my heart to the fact that there was such a thing as Christian music in every genre imaginable.  From rap and hip hop to rock, easy listening and alternative...it's all there...in different languages too! I just couldn't believe it!  I learned about Third Day, Mercy Me, Casting Crowns, Toby Mac...it was truly eye-opening...and I have been a fan every since.

Today, as I recall my awakening to Christian Music I want to take a moment to just Praise the Lord for it...for choosing talented people to sing for Him, to Him and for His children: us.  The blessing and impact of Christian music in my life have ramifications that are impossible to recount in one short post.  But I just want to say: THANK YOU, Lord for introducing me to it.  You speak to me through its lyrics and melodies.  You comfort me.  You challenge me.  You let me know I am not alone.  You put the love for music in my heart and You use it to communicate with me...and for that...I will always be grateful.  

Thank You, Lord.  In the Precious Name of Jesus...the One Who Sings to us.  Amen!   

Thanksgiving Journal: Thank you For New Bedford Church!

 Today as we celebrated Thank Offering Sunday, we had a guest Pastor who made me realize one of the biggest blessings the Lord has been so gracious to bestow upon me and my family:  Our beloved Church.

I don't know where I'd be without New Bedford Evangelical Church.  One thing is for sure, I probably would not be writing a thanksgiving journal right now, that I know.

The guest Pastor referred to our Church as an Oasis at the end of a winding road.  I loved that imagery.  In the the middle of all the chaos, pain, loneliness, headache, fear, stress, worry, sorrow, grief, loss, confusion, doubt and hardship of this life, New Bedford Church truly is an Oasis...a place where we can find respite, support, a shoulder to cry on, people...brothers and sisters rather, who are always willing to help us carry our burdens, to share in our heartbrokenness, to lend us a hand when in need, and also to have fun with, to laugh and rejoice, to worship and fellowship, to walk alongside this rocky road of life and to look forward to spending eternity with. 

I don't have to imagine what life would be like without New Bedford Church.  I experienced it and it was horrible.  New Bedford Church is were we belong, not just me but our sons too.  We were adopted into this family and I Praise God for finding us such a fine home. I Praise God that He gave this Church to Dan and that we were blessed by the ability to continue the membership through the years.  From Bible Studies, Circles, Sunday School, Youth Group, Kid Zone, Christmas Dinners, Bazars, Concerts, Cantatas, and Retreats to Funerals, Prayer Vigils, the emptiness brought up by Covid, YouTube broadcasts, quiet confessions, sad conversations in the hallways, tears, goodbyes, all the way to the bright orange Sanctuary, being a member of New Bedford Evangelical Church has been one of the most profound ways in which Jesus has shown me His mercy and love...and for that, I am most grateful today and every day.

May I be able to give back a portion of all I have received during my years as a child of New Bedford Evangelical Church.  In Jesus' Precious Name.  Amen!

Thanksgiving Journal: Thank You for Your Presence and Your Peace

 Today is the Sunday before Thanksgiving and I'd like to share the devotional reading from Jesus Calling by Sarah Young which I find simply perfect for the Thanksgiving Journal.  Today's entry is about being thankful for God's Presence and for His Peace.  What else could we want in this life?  His Presence makes everything right and as we feel Him near, the peace that transcends all understanding overflows our hearts, souls and minds.  Therefore, let's seek Him first...let's seek His Presence, and in doing so, let's allow His Peace to flow like a river.

Let's hear Jesus Calling us today as we read these inspired words as our thanksgiving offering in this rainy Sunday afternoon:

"Thank Me throughout this day for My Presence and My Peace.  These are gifts of supernatural proportions.  Ever since the resurrection, I have comforted My followers with these messages:  Peace be with you, and I am with you always.  Listen as I offer you My Peace and Presence in full measure.  The best way to receive these glorious gifts is to thank Me for them.  It is impossible to spend too much time thanking and praising Me.  i created you first and foremost to glorify Me.  Thanksgiving and praise put you in the proper relationship with Me, opening the way for My riches to flow into you.  As you thank Me for My Presence and Peace, you appropriate My richest gifts."

May the words of Jesus bring comfort of renew our confidence In His love and in His plan for us.  In Christ's precious Name.  Amen!

While they were still talking about this, Jesus himself stood among them and said to them, “Peace be with you.” Luke 24: 36

Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Matthew 28: 19-20

Thanksgiving Journal: Thank you for Tiny T-Shirts

 Ok, yeah...I know...tiny t-shirts?  What is that all about?  Well... it doesn't have anything to do with losing weight.  I can assure you of that.

See, what happened was, the other night, Dylan came to me with a weird questions.  He was like, "Mom, does Dad have any old jersey?"  I gave him my usual reply when he comes into my office and interrupts me with one of his famous bits of randomness.  I said: "WHAT?"

So, he proceeded to explain that on Saturday, our High School's football team has a REALLY important game at the university's stadium.  They are playing our archrival, Grove City for a division title.  And, apparently, the Slippery Rock kids are going to wear jerseys...who knows...don't ask me.

I told him, well, yeah...no...Dad doesn't have any old jerseys, BUT, I remembered Grant had a really nice Penguins Sidney Crosby jersey that I got for him a while ago.  In my mind, I could still see Grant wearing that jersey.  It was kind of big on him when I got it, and Dylan never really got to wear it because he was still way too little when it didn't fit Grant anymore, and we kind of put it away and forgot about it.  So that night, I was on a mission to find it.  

While at it, I found a Hines Ward and a Troy Polamalu's that were also Grant's and Dylan never got to wear.  They still fit him, but we were both now just obsessed on finding the Sidney Crosby one.  We found a Roberto Clemente also, but again, we just needed to find the stupid Penguin's...so Dylan climbed on something and grabbed a basket that was full to the brim with what looked like t-shirts neatly rolled and stored together.

I sort of remembered collecting a bunch of Dylan's old t-shirts that he had grown out of a while back.  Those had survived the Goodwill bag because they held some kind of special meaning I couldn't remember at that moment. I hadn't looked at them in years.  Well, he pulled the first one out of the basket, and unrolled it...and to both of our amazement, it was so tiny!  We couldn't hold our surprise!  It must have been like no more than 10 inches tall!  It was so cute!!  It was so precious...so he kept unrolling more, each of them tinier than the other...and each one with a story...he could recall a memory with every tiny t-shirt...sigh...  

It was such a moment we shared.  I couldn't contained my emotions.  And right there, tucked in at the bottom of the basket...there it was...the Sidney Crosby jersey...all 10 or 12 inches of it...I could NOT believe how small that jersey was.  

I know my boys are not little kids anymore...but seeing those tiny t-shirts and that jersey which in my mind still fit Grant very loosely and never fit Dylan...now looking like it would fit only a doll...was a reality check.  Where has time gone?

I had many emotions flooding my heart at that moment, but the strongest one was gratitude.  I was so grateful for that collection of tiny t-shirts because they represent the blessing of having seen my sons go from babies to young men and that is a gift I would never take for granted...I would never not be thankful for.  

We walked out of Dylan's room in silence.  

Later, I remembered I have an official Panama soccer jersey at work and I agreed to bring it home so he can wear it.  It's an adult size so it fits him.  It's also red, so it matches Slippery Rock High School colors...problem solved...but...I praised God for the time looking for the jersey and finding a bundle of blessings.  In Christ's Precious Name.  Amen!

Thanksgiving Journal: Thank You for Making Us to Be in Fellowship with You

 Are you the kind of person who needs to figure everything out?

I used to be like that.  I needed to know...I needed to have all my ducks in a row...I needed to have everything figured out.  Not anymore.  Don't get me wrong.  I still want to know how everything is going to work out.  But I'm not paralyzed by not knowing.  Old age has been teaching me to be more adaptable and flexible.  I am learning to make peace with uncertainty.  I'm learning to trust My Lord and rest in the peace that fellowship with Him brings to my soul.

And, what is fellowship?

Well, I read in a blog from Grace Theological Seminary that "the word fellowship is derived from the Greek word koinonia. Koinonia can be defined as “holding something in common” and is specifically used 20 times in the New Testament (e.g. Phil. 2:1-2, Acts 2:42, 1 John 1:6-7). Koinonia describes the unity of the Spirit that comes from Christians’ shared beliefs, convictions, and behaviors. When those shared values are in place, genuine koinonia (biblical fellowship) occurs. This fellowship produces our mutual cooperation in God’s worship, God’s work, and God’s will being done in the world."

According to this paragraph, by being in fellowship with God we are actually in mutual cooperation in everything that He does in the world!  I mean...isn't this totally amazing?  How could this be?  That He'd thought of us, imperfect humans, to be in Koinonia with Him!  Not even my family wants to be in mutual cooperation with me...why would God?

I don't know...and you know what?  I don't need to figure it out!  I just have to believe it, accept it and be grateful for it.

He created me and all of His children to be in fellowship with Him...with the Trinity! And all I have to do is to lean onto that fellowship for my peace and my every step while journeying in this valley of tears.  May we be thankful for the privilege of such Divine Fellowship, and never lose sight of it.  

The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit, be with you all. 2 Corinthians 13: 14

Amen!

Thanksgiving Journal: Thank You for Being Patient

I have very few qualities that I can claim as virtues, and patience is NOT among them.  I have to say that I have mellowed quite a bit in my old age.  But...ugh...just ask Dylan...sigh.

Because I am such an impatient, short-tempered, overreacting person, I'm actually able to appreciate or/and truly admire patience in others.  Not that long ago I told a dear friend, "boy, if I were you, I had punched him in the face already!"  And you know what the funniest thing is?  The closer the person is to me and the more I love him/her, the less patient I am.  Go figure?!

Take Dylan, for instance...the kid and I are closer than dirt and nails...but he has the ability to drain my small patience jar with just one word...sigh...I love him more than anything, but man, can he drive me insane!!!??

Today, I am most grateful for the reality of God's patience.  It is inexhaustible.  It is never ending. And for that, I am humbled and on my knees with gratitude.  I am so glad that God's love for His children is not like mine.  His love for us is perfect.  His love for us is the visible representation of what 1 Corinthians chapter 13 states:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. 

1 Corinthians 13: 4-8

His love never fails...what a beautiful assurance.  Knowing this is the kind of love that God lavishes on us fills my soul with peace and joy.  May we learn to love like that.  In Christ's Precious Name.  Amen!

Thanksgiving Journal: Thank You for Being the Father Who Runs To Us

 Nine years ago today my Father passed away.  The death certificate states fatal myocardial infarction. I call it a fatal broken heart. For many years he had been suffering the anguish and sorrow caused by my brother's decision to stop considering himself part of the family, and severing ties with all of us, including our Dad...our Dad who loved my brother more than he loved himself.

Up until the last moments before his passing, my Father, even though bed-ridden in a hospital room, spent his last breaths saying he wanted to be taken to his beloved son...or hoping he would show up.  My brother never came to see him in life.  As fate would have it, he decided to finally make the 4-hour trip to visit our Dad two hours too late.  But I know, had my Father gotten a glimpse of my brother coming home, he had ran to meet him...he would have gotten out of bed and just ran with his arms open wide to embrace him and welcome him back...never even remembering a second of the long years he spent in pain due to his absence and rejection. 

My Father's story makes me think of how grateful I am to have a Heavenly Father who lavishes a love so extravagant on His children that He runs to us the second He sees us turning back on our sinful ways...He runs back and welcomes us home...not as slaves, but as His rightful children and heirs.

But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. Luke 15: 20

My brother never experienced the peace of the certainty that our Father would have forgiven him anything and just surrounded him with his overflowing love, restoring him to his place as his beloved first-born child...but as children of God...we don't have to wonder.  We know.

My Dad's passing left a terrible hole in my heart and the unresolved issues with my brother have shaken my very core.  But, I give thanks to Our Lord, today and every day, for reminding me of the compassion, patience, forgiveness and enduring love we find in His Kingdom.  I give thanks that even when we are still "a long way off," Our Father runs to us and throws His arms around us and welcomes us home.  In Jesus' Precious Name.  Amen!

Thanksgiving Journal: Thank You for the Remnant

Listening to Pastor Dan's sermon today, reminded me of something I posted back in the summer of 2011.  I believe I was going through a Beth Moore Bible Study of the Book of Daniel...one that had a great impact in my heart. Today, I'm copying it below.  I read it and it seems appropriate and relevant still.  In this season of Thanksgiving, I Praise the Lord for the fact that there will always be a Remnant.  What a privilege to trust we are among it.  Blessed be the Holy Name of Jesus, Our Lord and Savior.  Amen!

 So too, at the present time there is a remnant chosen by grace.  Romans 11:5

The meditations for the lesson on Chapter 8 of the Book of Daniel during our last Bible Study meeting left me breathless.  The deep study of fulfilled prophecy as well as the foreshadowing of what is to come were enough to make up for a sleepless night.  However, it wasn’t either the grandiose description of the Ancient of Days or the terrifying depiction of the Beast what kept me awake.  It was, rather, the thought of us being part of the Kingdom timeline right now.  The realization that we are a dot in that timeline was profoundly unsettling.  The words of our teacher rattled my world when she said that we must quit looking around for someone else better to come along, for we are it!  In all my inadequacy, I am part of this “it” that builds up this day in age.  How could it be, if I’m but a vapor?  In His infinite wisdom, however, The Most High created us to be a vapor, yes, but a vapor that is supposed to live a life of purpose with this one breath that is our life, for that one breath is the breath of God and He placed us here for a reason.

What are we to do with our mark on the Divine timeline?  I have no idea!  What I do know is that willingness of heart and Bible study will eventually show us the path.  Our destiny is a journey.  It is a journey filled with unknowns and dwindling ranks.  We feel like we live in the age of indifference.  We see the church diminish as more and more pews are left empty in our weekly services.  It is enough to turn on the television to be disheartened and discouraged.  Where has hope gone?  Are Christians facing extinction?  Is there going to be anybody left to proclaim the truth boldly and unapologetically? 

As long as we are here, the answer is yes.  There will always be a remnant, and today, the remnant is you and me.  As the remnant, we accept our commission and we embark on this journey to seek the truth and to find true hope on the worn out pages of our study Bible.  We hold our sacred map in our hands, and as we leaf through it, we start to navigate the rushing waters guided by His Word.  

As we study the Word, we recognize our own experience in the timeless accounts of the Old Book.  We see ourselves in the Jewish people of the Old Testament, in the slavery of the Hebrews under Egyptian rule, in the graveyard full of dry bones in Ezekiel, or in the take over by the Babylonians.  We plea like Habakkuk, “How long, Lord, must I call for help and You do not listen…” (Hab 1:2).  Though shaken, however, we do not break.  Though tired, we do not stop to rest.  Though oppressed, our hearts do not sink.  Though afraid, we do not despair, for we know who holds the future, and we know who holds us. For we know that evil cannot touch us even if we walk in his valley of sorrow, darkness and pain.  We do not give up.  On the contrary, even though the world rejects us and the fool-hearted says that there is no God, we press on.  We press on because we hear the Lord reply to Moses, “Now you are going to see what I will do.” (Ex 6:1).  We press on because we know that David defeats the giant with just one stone.  We move on because of that empty tomb.  We continue because of the Lamb who was slain for us.  We keep on walking because He has overcome the world and victory is ours in Him who overcomes. 

We know that God will always rise up Daniels and give them the strength to lead lives of integrity in environments of disgrace.  We do not rest in our journey because we know that up ahead we will see God’s answer to Habakkuk’s prayers, and tremble at the command “to look at the nations and observe and be utterly astounded for something is taking place in our days that we will not believe when we hear about it.”  And how the end “delays…but will certainly come and not be late.” (Hab 1,2)  We press on because we trust His promises and we know that His name is faithful and everlasting and never-changing, and because we bear His seal on our foreheads.

We are the remnant.  Like Esther, we were born “for such a time as this” (Esther 4:14).  We are David facing a Goliath of societal debacle.  We are the dry bones clothed with new flesh to praise the Lord in the midst of godlessness.  We are the split rocks that burst out in praise at the presence of the Divine when no one else recognizes it.  We are the remnant that has been crucified with Christ and no longer lives, but lets Christ live in it.  We are the remnant that does not conform to the patterns of this world, but it’s transformed by the renewing of its mind.  We seek Him first, and we know that we can do all things in Christ who strengthens us.  We bring the light to this fallen world and spread the good news to those who might still want to hear it.  We know that it is for freedom that Christ has set us free, and that the Lord will not forsake those who trust in Him.

            So –“yes,”-  there will always be a remnant, and today, that remnant is us.  As such, we will make our mark in the timeline of the Kingdom of the Most High by putting on the full armor of God, and doing what we are supposed to do to bring glory to our Loving, Living and Mighty Lord.

Thanksgiving Journal: Songs of Praise

 In a gray mid-November Sunday morning, when the thread of snow is at 100%, my heart turns to Scripture for my daily praise.  As we read Isaiah Chapter 12 we see that it starts with the expression "In that day you will say..."  According to Jon Courson's commentary, this phrase tells the reader that even though there is an application to the events in Isaiah's day, there is also a potential message for the time to come...for us today.  Let's worship Our Lord Almighty and give Him Thanks with the inspired words of the prophet, as we read Chapter 12 - Songs of Praise:

In that day you will say:

“I will praise you, Lord.

Although you were angry with me,

your anger has turned away

and you have comforted me.

Surely God is my salvation;

I will trust and not be afraid.

The Lord, the Lord himself, is my strength and my defense;

he has become my salvation.”

With joy you will draw water

from the wells of salvation.

In that day you will say:

“Give praise to the Lord, proclaim his name;

make known among the nations what he has done,

and proclaim that his name is exalted.

Sing to the Lord, for he has done glorious things;

let this be known to all the world.

Shout aloud and sing for joy, people of Zion,

for great is the Holy One of Israel among you.”

Praised be the Holy name of Jesus, Our Salvation.  May we always be ready to sing songs of praise to Him.  Amen!

Thanksgiving Journal: Enjoying the Blessings

 Do you sometimes feel bad about enjoying your blessings? I do...today's devotional reminded me that what I feel is false, enemy-induced guilt. Our God is a God who rejoices in sharing His abundant life with us.  He wants us to glorify Him as we accept the blessings.  Otherwise, the opportunity to bring Him all Praise is wasted.  

It is not a matter of feeling that we don't deserve His gifts.  Like my devotional points out, God's Kingdom is not about earning and deserving.  It is about believing and receiving. (Jesus Calling by Sarah Young)

I will never be good enough to earn or deserve God's blessings, His love or His presence.  I will never do anything to earn and deserve His Salvation.  What I deserve and what I would earn is total separation from Him.  It is because God's generous nature that I am His child...and for that, I must give Him all glory divine!  Otherwise, my witnessing would be lost in false humility.  The enemy doesn't want me to praise Him...that's why he tries to make me feel like I don't deserve the blessings.

The good news is that Our Great Lord speaks to us in many ways...and if we have ears to hear, we'd know that it is right to believe and receive.

Today, I want to bring Him honor and fill my heart with thanksgiving as I enjoy His many blessings. Let's make sure we listen and intentionally recognize His gifts, and abundantly express our awe in Him...as we never forget that...

He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Romans 8: 32

Thanksgiving Journal: Thank You for Your Power

 Yesterday, one of my students came to my office to take a make-up test for one he had missed.  I made sure I reminded him to bring his laptop so he could take the test since it was an online quiz. No big deal, right? Well, the student shows up, I open up the test so he can access it in his laptop.  He starts taking it...10 minutes into the quiz, he said:  "My computer just died."  I was like, "what do you mean?"  He was like, "it died."  So I looked at him with a question mark on my face, then, I'm like, "you mean, it ran out of power?"  He said, "yeah..." I said, "well, here's the outlet..." But, he kept looking at me, not moving...so I knew what the problem was: he did not bring his charger with him. 

This incident reminded me of me and how, oftentimes, I go into life's tests with my batteries low and without a charger in hand.

How do I expect to even get through the test without the most basic tools: my source of power.

God's power, empowers me.  His strength, strengthens me.  I cannot do anything without Him.  And He charges us with His power each day depending on our circumstances...but we have to be able to plug into Him. We need our charger.  And, what's that cord that connects us to Our Source of Power? Our desire to seek Him first. 

The Word says:

Look to the Lord and his strength;

seek his face always. Psalm 105: 4

Glory in his holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice! Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually! (1 Chr 16:10-11).

The Lord is with you while you are with him. If you seek him, he will be found by you, but if you forsake him, he will forsake you (2 Chr 15:2b)

Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you (Mt 7:7).

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6: 33

And these verses are just a small sample of all the instances in the Bible where we are called to seek God, and how in doing so, we are blessed with His power, strength and presence.  Just like my student's laptop was just a useless device without the charger to bring it to life, we have no possibility to be used by God without remaining connected to Him through our constant seeking of His Face.

Today, I thank Our Lord for empowering us, and I pray that the Holy Spirit will continuously inspire us to fix our eyes upon Jesus...our source of all power and might.  In His Precious Name.  Amen!

Thanksgiving Journal: Thank You for Being the God Who Calms My Storms

 I've always struggle with fear.  My nervous nature causes me to hit the panic button at the first sign of something not going according to plan.  I worry too much and I make a mountain out of a mole hill...my boys tease me all the time about it.  The latest one is Dylan saying:  "Why is the fan on??? The WORLD IS GOING TO END!!!"  sigh...

The reason Dylan has been saying that is because a couple of weeks ago I made a big deal about the fan in the living room being on when it was less than 40 degrees outside.  Anyway...yes...I can't deny it...I tend to overreact mostly because I tend to let fear take over me very quickly.

Over the years, though, the Lord has been teaching me that He is the God Who Calms My Fears, and for that I am most grateful.

When situations come up that shake me off my core...He reminds me that I can come to Him for comfort and peace, trusting His plan and His designs for my life.  The problem is that for most of my life, I have ignored His reminders.  I have made it a habit to just react in fear when something happens that I wasn't expecting.  Lately, however, The Holy Spirit has been hard at work in my soul and in my heart, causing me to pay attention to His promptings more closely. 

Today, I felt His arm wrapping around me as I had an issue in one eye and had to get it checked by a physician. Typically, this is the kind of situations that would have sent me over the edge...but, thanks to His Word, and the people He places around me, I was able to get through the testing without breaking down.  And, in His Faithfulness, He not only kept me calm, but He delivered me.

I trust that the longer I walk with Him in this valley of sorrow, the deeper my trust in Him grows and the more I am able to lean on Him in my moments of anxiety.  

For now, I just want to Praise Him, for He is my Refuge and Strength...my Strong Tower...My Peace...My Redeemer...The Lover of My Soul...The One Who Calms All My Storms.

In the Precious Name of Jesus.  Amen!

Thanksgiving Journal: The Gift of Faithfulness

 Dan's car is a 2007 Toyota Corolla.  Yep...the car is 14 years old.  We've had it for 13 years and it is a few short weeks from turning 300,000 miles.  Dan has driven that car through 13 years of daily loooong commutes, hence the almost 300,000 miles.  We love that car.  It still gives him a bit over 30 miles a gallon and it has a lot of zip.  I has never failed him.  You can count on it starting right on every time.  It's an impressive work-horse, indeed.

Until a couple of days ago, that is.  

On Friday, Dan came home in the evening and said:  my car stalled!

I was like, what???

He's like, yeah.

I'm like, where?

He's like, right here, leaving the neighborhood.  It was this morning.  I think I needed to warm it up longer.  I started it again, and it was fine.

I'm like, whoa...that just doesn't sound right...it doesn't sound right AT. ALL. That car has never needed to be "warmed up" even in sub-zero temps, it has always started like a match.

So, Dan fiddled with it through the weekend, but on Monday morning, it did not want to start.  We were dumbfounded: I guess it's time to take it to the mechanic to see if there's any hope.  That was my cue to start looking at CarGurus for a reliable used car (HA!).

This ordeal with our Toyota Corolla made me think about the concept of faithfulness.  This car has been "faithful" to us for a long time.  But, can a car truly be faithful?  

I don't think we can actually attach the idea of faithfulness to things.  According to the dictionary, faithfulness is "unfailingly remaining loyal to someone or something, and putting that loyalty into consistent practice regardless of extenuating circumstances." The concept requires consciousness.  It is something that is done intentionally.  It requires a heart and a mind.

The Bible tells us that God is Faithful,

Know therefore that the Lord your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commandments. Deuteronomy 7:9

and that even...

If we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself. 2 Timothy 2: 13

And today, I am grateful for such an attribute. His faithfulness gives me peace and comfort.  I find hope in it and it makes me feel protected, safe and secured, because, unlike our car, God remains faithful forever.  He doesn't need new spark plugs. He doesn't stall. He doesn't have an expiration date or a limit as to how many miles it can go for.  His faithfulness is steadfast. And, no matter how impressive a record anything or anyone may have, when it comes to reliability, nothing or no-one comes close to Our Lord.

The mechanic was able to breathe new life into our Corolla.  Grant drove it home today and it was as good as always.  The mechanic even told Dan that he could get another 100,000 miles from it.  But even so, the car will not go forever.  Eventually, it will quit.  God never will.  And for that truth, I am most grateful.  In the Precious Name of Jesus, the Only Faithful One.  Amen!

Thanksgiving Journal: For the Unchangeable Nature of God

I kind of like change.  But, only when I can orchestrate it.  I want to get a new car, but just because I like a particular new model...not because my current car stalled and left me stranded in the middle of an intersection.  I want to buy a small house because I like the idea of not having to clean 3 bathrooms and a big kitchen...not because I lost my job and can't afford the payments of my big house now.  

Life, however, doesn't always deliver changes in a neatly wrapped gift bag.  It often just dumps them on our laps unexpectedly...and the weight many times is so heavy that it knocks us off our seat.  Everything can change in an instant...

But, you know what never does...or rather, Who never does? Yep, God.

Today I am grateful for the unchangeable nature of Our Great God.  

For I the Lord do not change; therefore you, O children of Jacob, are not consumed. Malachi 3:6

No matter how society, families, friendships, relationships, countries, seasons, weather, perspectives, opinions, elections, traditions, school, and every single thing in life changes, God never does.  We can rest in confidence knowing that the one constant is Our Heavenly Father.  Our trust is based on this truth.  We trust because we know He is trustworthy and He will always be so.

In this moments when life seems just a bit too uncertain and our steps feel too unstable, I Praise Our Lord for the fact that He is always the same.  Please help us remember this truth when we are walking through our dark valleys.  In the Precious Name Above All Names.  Amen!

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. Hebrews 13:8

Thanksgiving Journal: The Gift of Seeing Our Kids Grow Up

 I wanted to conclude the thanksgiving posts for the weekend saying a big thank you, Father, that Dylan was able to get his learner's permit on Saturday.  I know, it makes me very nervous to think of him driving.  In my eyes, he is still a little toddler attached to my hip.  The fact is, however, that Dylan is growing up.  He is 16, ready to start driving and thinking about getting a job after basketball season is over.  I don't know what happened to the years.  I don't know what happened to that little fuzzy-hair, chubby-cheeks baby who was placed on my lap over fifteen years ago in an early morning on September 11th...he was such a cutie pie.  We were so confused and in shock.  He kept waiving us bye-bye, crying his eyes out.  I remember having to give him a warm bath at around midnight, and rocking him in my arms the rest of the night.  He would not let me lay him on the bed.  I had to hold him in my arms all night long.  That was the only way he would not cry.  Since that day, he attached himself to me in a special bond much thicker than blood. 

Today, as he takes his first steps towards independence, I'm filled with pride, and with joy to see that God has allowed me to see my baby become a young man, ready to stretch his wings and begin to fly.  It is such a privilege...and even though my heart is achy, knowing that the years of carrying my cute, little baby in my arms are long gone, I get to see a strong man in the making.

So, thank you, Lord for letting me see this rite of passage for Dylan and I pray I can witness him become Your follower for life.  In Christ's Precious Name.  Amen!

Thanksgiving Journal: The Gift of Time

 Well, today was "fall back" day.  It was the day we turned our clocks back one hour.  This has always been a fascinating thing to me.  The first year I experienced this phenomenon was back in the fall of 1990, my first year at Clarion University.  I couldn't believe it when people told me: we have to turn our watches back one hour.  I was like, what??? What does that mean? And people would be like, well, just what it sounds like, take off your watch and turn the hands back...I just couldn't fathom it.  It seemed unreal...almost as playing God.

The worst part was when spring came and we had to "spring forward" the clocks.  That was just cruel.

Thirty years later I still get super confused with the time change.  It makes for a really complicated experience, particularly when trying to make arrangements with people in different countries where they don't do this crazy thing.  

Anyway...but I have to admit, I enjoy gaining my hour back, though.  This morning, when I woke up and looked at our alarm clock on the night table (the alarm clock does is not smart so it doesn't realize it's time to fall back) it said 6:48 a.m. but then, when I looked at my phone, it said 5:48 instead...and a big smile came to my face because I could just roll up in bed and sleep for another hour.  I've been so sleep-deprived lately that having that extra hour was an amazing gift.  I am so thankful for the chance to claim one extra hour in the day.  I know this means days are shorter and nightfall comes quicker...but, still, if only for one day, knowing I have one extra hour fills my heart with joy!

Time is the most precious commodity we have.  It is very limited which makes it extremely precious.  I thank God for the gift of time today and I pray He allows me to be wise on how I spend it while under the rule of the ticking clock.  In Jesus' Precious Name.  Amen! 

Thanksgiving Journal: The Gift of Learning to Let Go

 

November is an interesting month for me.  There are things about November that I love and there are things that make me extremely melancholic.  My favorite thing about November is Thanksgiving.  I also love, LOVE, the fact that November marks the end of the semester, and in semesters like this one, I am so ready to be done...it's no joke.  November is full of memories too...and it is in this department where the melancholic feeling arises.

November is Panama's Independence Month.  My country of birth celebrates two Independences, one from Spain, November 28th, 1821 and the other one from Colombia, November 3rd, 1903.  There's also flag day and many other anniversaries of events leading to either of the Independences that happened in November.  So, needless to say, memories of parades, family gatherings, time off from school and celebrations abound.  My Dad's birthday was on November 3rd. My brother's birthday is also in November, so the month brought in important family festivities as well.  But, November is also the month I left Panama and all I ever knew to be mine...behind...

I left Panama for good on November 5th 1995. 

My Dad died on November 12th, 2012...leaving a huge hole in my heart.

I haven't spoken to my brother in many years...and when his birthday comes around on November 11th, my heart shrinks.

Life has turned out to be very different from what I imagined it would be back when I was a young woman all those Novembers ago in Panama.  It's been a good life...just different. I've gained much in this life, but I've also lost much.  One thing is for sure, I've learned a lot.  And one of those lessons the Lord has been teaching me along the way is to learn how to accept the gift of letting go.

It is not a gift easily welcomed and it is definitely an acquired taste.  It is not one of those presents you are excited to open and receive joyfully.  Letting go often involves pain and tears because it is always about loss.  Be it the loss of a loved one, or of a relationship, or of a way of living, or of a dream...there is grieving in letting go because it is about losing someone or something dear to us.  We question it...we resist it...we reject it...we try to avoid it...but in the end, we all have had and will have to let go, and the process is hard regardless of what it is.

How is it a gift, then?

I read today something in my devotional that brought the perspective of letting go as a gift.  The reflection said:  "I am working My ways in you: the divine Artist creating loveliness within your being.  My main work is to clear out debris and clutter, making room for My Spirit to take full possession.  Collaborate with Me in this effort by being willing to let go of anything I choose to take away.  I know what you need, and I have promised to provide all of that abundantly! Your sense of security must not rest in your possessions or in things going your way.  I am training you to depend on Me alone, finding fulfillment in My Presence.  This entails being satisfied with much or with little, accepting either as My will for the moment.  Instead of grasping and controlling, you are learning to release and receive.  Cultivate this receptive stance by trusting Me in every situation." (Jesus Calling by Sarah Young)

I know it sounds harsh to think of loved ones or things that are good as "debris and clutter" but sometimes we may fall into idolatry when our focus is on them so much that they distract us from seeking Jesus first and His Kingdom.  If He chooses to take someone or something away that we are holding on to too tightly, it is because that's His plan and for some reason, it makes sense.  It is often impossible to explain it with our limited understanding.  But that's when we see with the eyes of faith and we collaborate in His plan because we trust His plan is perfect and we believe He is Good all the time.

Letting go of my identity has been a very complex journey.  But, had I not been brought to the United States, my walk with Jesus would have taken a long and scary detour.  Letting go of my Dad has meant that I had to learn how to walk on my own two feet on new ground.  Letting go of my dreams of youth has meant I have had a chance to enjoy new dreams.  Distance, ironically, has brought me closer to my sister.  Distance, I pray, will someday patch up the wounds with my brother and help us be a family again.

I Praise the Lord for opening my eyes to how letting go of what He chooses to take away means I am learning to depend on Him and Him alone.  I know it will not get easier.  It will still be painful and I will still try to resist it...but I pray that the lesson sticks and that I remember His plan is perfect no matter what. 

One thing I ask from the Lord,

this only do I seek:

that I may dwell in the house of the Lord

all the days of my life,

to gaze on the beauty of the Lord

and to seek him in his temple.

5 For in the day of trouble

he will keep me safe in his dwelling;

he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent

and set me high upon a rock. Psalm 27:4-5

Thanksgiving Journal: The Lord is With Me at Every Step

 Ever since I started the position of Department Chair almost a year and a half ago, my life has been way more stressful than usual.  The demands of this job and the expectations that everyone has of me are much more than I have anticipated.  And every day that passes I confirm my suspicions: I am SO NOT the right person for this job.  But, as life often unfolds, I'm the ONLY person for this job.  I'm it for now.  So, I can't escape it.  I have to bear it.

Needless to say, every day is a struggle.  I don't know how to do anything and I don't want to learn either.  My entire body rejects this job.  My insecurities and feelings of inadequacy are exponential and I am just praying I can survive the 3 additional semesters I still have to keep doing this thing until I can just collapse somewhere.

Gratitude...yep...where's my thanksgiving in all this rant? 

Well, I am thankful that God always places the right messages in front of my eyes to help me cope.  In the midst of the latest chaos at the office, I just read in my devotional the following:

"You are wondering how you will cope with all that is expected of you.  You must traverse this day like any other: one step at a time.  instead of mentally rehearsing how you will do this or that, keep your mind on My Presence and on taking the next step.  The more demanding your day, the more help you can expect from Me. This is training opportunity since I designed you for deep dependence on your Shepherd-King.  Challenging times wake you up and amplify your awareness of needing My help.  When you don't know what to do, wait while I open the way before you.  Trust that I know what I'm doing, and be ready to follow My lead." (Sarah Young's Jesus Calling).

I am grateful that Jesus is not surprised by my lack of adequacy...He is not wondering how come I do not know how to do anything...He is not frustrated by my inability to remember things...He is not disappointed by my lack of managerial skills.

I am eternally grateful that He is not only aware, but expects my total dependence on Him.  

I am forever grateful that He is my Shepherd-King and that my neediness amplifies my awareness of His presence.

I am humbled by the fact that when I don't know what to do...which is always...I can just wait in Him as He orchestrates things in my life that bring glory to His Holy Name.

Thank you, Lord for calling me Your own, and for strengthening me and giving me peace (Psalm 29:11).  May I always keep in mind the fact that I can find you next to me with every step I take.  In Your Precious Name.  Amen!

Thanksgiving Journal: Thankful for my Dad

 Today would have been my Dad's birthday.  However, he is no longer celebrating birthdays in this physical realm.  And, I'm not sure how this birthday business works like in Heaven.  BUT, when he was still with us, this sure was a super special day.

The thing is, today is also Panama's Independence Day.  So, needless to say, the entire country was in a celebratory mood during my Father's birthday.  He was the Principal of our then one and only High School and a beloved figure in the entire town.  Even today, 9 years after his passing and almost 40 years after he retired as Principal, people still remember him fondly.  

So, as my Thanksgiving Journal continues, I would like to give thanks to our Heavenly Father for giving me an exceptional earthly Father.  He was a rock in my life, a pillar that supported me, my biggest fan, the one who always believed in me even when I didn't...the one who loved me unconditionally and the one whose embrace I missed more than anything in the world.  When he left this valley of sorrow, I felt as if someone had removed the floor from under my feet...but I am confident that one day we will meet again.  

Until then, I Praise The Lord for the gift of giving me my Dad.  Most of whom I am today is due to whom he was.  May he be enjoying and rejoicing in the presence of Jesus, Our Savior and the Healer of all wounds.  In Christ's Precious Name.  Amen!

Thanksgiving Journal 2: In My Weakness I Thank You, Lord

 Today, I am thankful for the fact that no matter how weak I am and how many times I fail to do what I'm supposed to do, Jesus is still here...with me...

He is not surprised by my weaknesses.  And He does not withdraw His love from me just because I failed to perform.  He knows me.  And even so...He still loves me.

I am thankful for the truth I read in my devotional this morning:

Your weakness does not repel Me.  On the contrary, it attracts My Power, which is always available to flow into a yielded heart.  Do not condemn yourself for your constant need of help.  Instead, come to Me with your gaping neediness; let the Light of My Love fill you.  A yielded heart does not whine or rebel when the going gets rough.  it musters the courage to thank Me even during hard times.  Yielding yourself to My will is ultimately an act of trust. (Jesus Calling by Sarah Young)

Thank you, Lord Jesus for the peace that comes to my soul when I consider that even while I was still a sinner, you loved me enough to die for me.  In the Precious Name of Christ.  Amen.

"Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful." Colossians 3:15

Thanksgiving Journal: Thankful for the Youth Mission Trip

 Can you believe it?  November is here! For some reason, this month always catches me by surprise. I'm not sure why.  I think it's because I get so busy with the back-to-school rush, that, all of the sudden, it's Halloween and November sneaks up on me and yells BOO! 

And once November starts...forget it...it's over already.  Thanksgiving, perhaps my favorite holiday, comes to me and finds me unprepared and unaware. I don't want that to happen to me this year.  I want to be intentional about being grateful for the blessings God has so generously decided to share with me.  So, I want to make sure I don't take them for granted.  I want to make November, Thanksgiving Month in this blog.  It is my goal to post something every day of this month about gratitude, starting today!

So, here we go.

I am grateful today for Dylan's experience during the Mission Trip he just came back from.  He went to West Virginia in July with the Youth Group and when they came back, Youth Director, Lee Harris announced that perhaps they would be going back down again in October for another round.  That meant, the kids would have to miss about 3 days of school.  Dan is never happy about having the kids miss school, but we thought this was important, and if Dylan's grades were good, we were going to let him go.

Of course, we blinked and it was time to drop him off at the church on a cold October morning.  I couldn't stay because I had to rush back to the office for appointments.  I felt bad just leaving him there, but I couldn't help it.  He was not very interested in the fact that the trip had just gotten extended until Sunday (originally they were going to come back on Saturday), but I told him that he would enjoy it and to just go with it.  I also told him to look for Jesus moments...moments of awareness of His presence in the fellowship of the mission work. That morning, I said good bye to my little boy and prayed the trip would be transformative.

Yesterday, when we picked him up, he was glowing.  I usually ask him to tell me the about his favorite things and his least favorite things every time he goes somewhere or does something special, and he filled up the 45 minutes of the trip back home with stories of the last few days.  The stories were filled with funny details, surprising events, sparks and joy. And when I asked him about anything he did not like, he couldn't think of anything!  There had been no room for anything he didn't savored in the trip. Friendships became stronger, and new ones emerged.  The reality of extreme poverty went from abstract to concrete.  Hard work redeemed the times. And the awareness of Jesus moments was evident in my young son's heart. What else is there in life?  

I am grateful for the opportunity to invest in Dylan's soul.  I am grateful for the Church who is willing to sponsor these trips so our youth can grow up stronger in their faith.  I am grateful for Lee and Dawn who are willing to take on the enormous task to love these young people so much that they say yes to undertaking these trips. I am grateful to Our Lord and Savior for giving these young men and women a chance to hear His voice as He calls them His own.

Dylan said to me after he came back from school this afternoon that he felt a little lost at school today because he didn't have his mission team around.  He missed them so, that he reached out and decided it was a good idea to have a group chat so they could keep in touch. How about that?

"Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever." 1 Chronicles 16:34

The Reality of Faith

 I have been so preoccupied with lately, that I have neglected important things, like writing my meditations on the Word.  That is shameful and I pray the Holy Spirit will put me back on my path to rectify my detours.  This morning, He led me to these electronic pages first before starting my hectic day, and He prompted me to type my musings on what I read about faith in today´s post of My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers.  Here's the part that spoke to me most in today's entry:

For every detail of common sense in life, there is a truth God has revealed by which we can prove in our practical experience what we believe God to be. Faith is a tremendously active principle that always puts Jesus Christ first. The life of faith says, “Lord, You have said it, it appears to be irrational, but I’m going to step out boldly, trusting in Your Word” (for example, see Matthew 6:33). Turning intellectual faith into our personal possession is always a fight, not just sometimes. God brings us into particular circumstances to educate our faith, because the nature of faith is to make the object of our faith very real to us. Until we know Jesus, God is merely a concept, and we can’t have faith in Him. But once we hear Jesus say, “He who has seen Me has seen the Father” (John 14:9) we immediately have something that is real, and our faith is limitless. Faith is the entire person in the right relationship with God through the power of the Spirit of Jesus Christ.

"The nature of faith is to make the object of our faith very real to us." I love this statement.  It articulates our situation perfectly!  That is exactly what Hebrews 11:1 is all about: Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. (Hebrews 11:1)

We hope to see the reality of the Almighty.  We want to be convinced and convince others of the truth even when it is not seen.  And faith is what allows us to do that.  And Jesus is at the center of this process.  "Until we know Jesus, God is merely a concept..." God is too abstract...not tangible.  He becomes "real" in the person of Jesus, and it is not until we know Him...until He calls us and we hear His voice that our faith explodes.  

Very recently I tried to share this ideas with someone who is looking for answers in all the wrong places, but I don't think I did a good job.  I think I fell short.  I was trying to "make it real" for her by explaining some of my life experiences and how the only way I have been able to get through them is because of my faith...but I didn't get all the way to Jesus.  I stopped at God...

It's funny how we think that "God" is not as offensive as Jesus.  Often, at least it happens to me often, I tend to believe that people won't reject what I'm saying if I leave it at the generic "God" level without going deeper and bringing Jesus in.  And it is because Jesus makes it too real and people can't handle it.  Jesus is a person who walked on this earth, ate, drank, slept, spoke, touched...He is way too on our face.  He is too much inside our realm.  God is up there...distant...caught up between fantasy land and a dream-like state.  Jesus can slap you on your face and you'd feel it.  Jesus overturned tables, and cried and yelled.  God is more like this ethereal, shapeless being that is easier to dismiss.  Jesus' words and actions are all too "real" and can't be easily dismissed.

I feel bad I did not take the one step further to say that the reason for my faith is Jesus.  But I also trust His wisdom and His guidance.  I have faith that He directs my path and that He is My Lord and as such, He leads me to where He wants me.  

I pray that I can be bolder when the time comes to share the object of my faith, and that I communicate how My God is Father, Son and Holy Ghost.  In the precious name of Jesus.  Amen!